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Sorority house. Not whore house.

As college students, we are constantly inundated with new knowledge. It can be useful, thought-provoking, or crammed into our head on a Starbucks-fueled binge several hours before an exam. However, very rarely do we question the validity of all this new knowledge (unless you take philosophy classes, then you’ll question away).

That’s where College Candy comes in. We’re not going to debate whether or not the Theory of Relativity actually exists (a disappointment, I know, but I’m a communications major and stopped taking science classes after Baby Bio fresh year). However, we are here to thoroughly investigate the most widespread college knowledge (no, not rhyming)—the myth.

Recently, a good friend of mine came to visit me at escuela. When she got here, we screamed and squealed and moved all of her bags upstairs into my room. We chatted and caught up for a while, before I offered to give her a tour of my place.

I adore giving house tours, because the place where I live is so much more than my home—it’s my sorority house. I love showing friends and family all the beautiful details of our old Southern mansion, pointing out hidden symbols and telling the histories behind everything that decorates the house.  My guests are usually very interested and complimentary, so I was kind of bummed when I realized my bestie was being super quiet (and not in the “I’m-so-jealous-you-don’t-have-to-cook-or-clean” kind of way).

When I asked her what was up, she sighed and told me that she’d always wanted to live in a sorority house, but unfortunately the city where her campus was located strictly forbade her chapter from having one. “Why the anti-Panhellenic attitude?” I asked. To which she replied, as thousands of collegiates before her have, “Well, under city law, any more than 5 women living under the same house is considered a brothel.”

Whaaaat?! Brothel? Huh?!

Seriously, all those movies and books have it wrong. No, Sorority Row, we do not throw giant foam parties in our formal sitting room (my House Mom would spontaneously combust). Sorry, Alexandra Robbins, we are not having “naked parties,” and not all of sorority housing is glamorous (I’m a 21 year old woman who sleeps in a bunk bed). Hell, we aren’t even allowed to have guys upstairs (ever)! How the hell could a sorority house, or for that matter, any female dwelling be considered a brothel based solely on the number of its occupants with vaginas? I decided to investigate.

Turns out, this rumor has been circulating for quite some time. Richard Roeper commented in the Chicago Sun Times that it was “the most widespread piece of university folklore making the rounds.” That was in 1994, and not much has changed.

According to Snopes, the myth probably originated due to confusion and misinterpretation of “Blue Laws” and zoning restrictions.  “Some municipalities do indeed have zoning laws prohibiting more than a specified number of non-family members (male or female) from living together, but not even in those cases would a household in violation of those codes be labeled a brothel.”

More importantly, any law that stated such doesn’t apply to fraternity, sorority, or any other form of intentionally communal living. So, good news for my friend (if she wants to contact her national headquarters and start some hardcore fundraising), sororities (and fraternities, and non-Greeks alike) can indeed all live happily together under one roof without the city labeling them as prostitutes.

Unless, of course, they are exchanging sex for money. That might be a problem.

Life would be a whole lot easier if money weren’t an issue, right? You wouldn’t have to worry about those pesky bills, you could travel the world in style, enjoy daily shopping trips at your favorite boutiques…

Whoa. Sorry – zoned out there for a minute.

Anywho, even if people don’t want to admit it, marrying someone with money would be pretty fan-effing-tastic, no?  Just look at all those Real Housewives – their lives aren’t too shabby. Who wouldn’t want to have all that (minus the ridiculous dramz, of course)?

So, is there anything wrong with trying to find a wealthy man to sweep you off your feet? And does looking for a man with a cushy bank account make you a – how did my friend put it? – prostitute? There’s a fine line between liking someone with money and liking someone for money, but, at the end of the day, is either one really ok?

See both sides below, then weigh in on the topic in the comment section!

Some people are fortunate enough to have everything covered, but those college students who are on their own are forced to seek employment on or around campus. Usually for minimum wage.

I watched many friends as they sat in class all morning, in the library all afternoon and at their crappy work-study jobs all night, every night. They missed out on bonding time, parties and even student groups on campus, and still barely had enough money to get by. I know that college is all about learning, but it sucks to miss out on the rest of college life. There is a lot to be learned outside the classroom (like your drinking limit!).

But what if there were a better option? What if someone could make enough money to get by without sitting at the check-out desk of the library 6 nights a week? What if you could make enough money to learn and enjoy college without spending game-days serving burgers to drunk students?

It’s as easy as getting a sugar-daddy.

Melissa Beech, tired of working retail and waiting tables, did just that. “During my job hunt, I met a potential employer. He was in his early thirties, single and successful. He didn’t hire me, but he did suggest a position that seemed perfectly suited to my attributes and skills: he proposed that he become my benefactor.”

Some people consider Melissa’s “job” to be prostituion, but she doesn’t agree; I call it a ‘mutually beneficial arrangement’ that pays for my killer wardrobe.”

What do you think? Is this the answer we have all been looking for, or is this simply a real-life Pretty Woman?

Remember when Girls Gone Wild used to shame party girls across the country who had one too many body shots on Spring Break and had the bad luck to land in front of a camera? Since when has slutty behavior turned into a profitable asset and a celebrity vehicle? Mini Me’s lover is collecting big after a sex tape “somehow” leaked, and now Eliot Spitzer’s ex-whore is getting a REALITY TV SHOW. I can’t believe that we Americans will actually tune in to the lives of nutjobs like the Lohans, the Kardashians, and now, some hooker who happened to win the jackpot.

When Tila Tequila burst on the scene, she had a great gimmick: the first bisexual reality dating show. But after the Bobby Banhart breakup-scandal, and oh-so-predictable opposite-gender-choosing finale in season 2, there’s not much buzz left in Tequilaville. Bring in the hooker! If you thought Tila’s patented, “How will your parents react when they find out I’m bisexual?” act starts to get old, imagine the “How will your parents react when they find out I’m the whore that ruined Eliot Spitzer’s career?” segment.

Yes, Handprint Entertainment, the fine folks who bring the lives of Pamela Anderson and Nicole Ritchie to the small screen, are in talks with MTV to give Ashley Dupre a shot at love. Monica Lewinski must be green with envy. Sure, she got a book deal, but she could have found “true love” in front of millions of strangers, and the producers would probably have thrown in a mansion as well!

If the dating show falls through, I’d like to pitch some backup ideas to Dupre’s new producers:

1. Dupre’s Deal or No Deal- Combination dating-slash-game show: Dupre’s bachelors be able to buy some sex after their “one-on-one” dates. But what about after elimination?

2. Hooker and the Geek- 10 prostitutes and 10 geeks are paired up to learn from each other. The geeks teach the girls financial skills and politics (so they can find themselves their own Spitzer prototype), and, well, you can guess how the ladies reciprocate.

3. What Not to Wear: Escort Edition- I think the name says it all.

4. Real World: The Brothel- This is the true story of seven pimps and prostitutes picked to live in a house…

5. Are You Smarter than a Harlot?- Jeff Foxworthy would host this one for free!

6. The Slutty-real Life- Okay, so my Surreal Life pun needs work. But they can invite back reality skanks Trishelle Cannatella and Adrianne Curry, and let the STD’s begin!

Shows that probably won’t end up in TV Guide: Made: I Want to Have Sex for Money; So You Think You Can Screw; Celebrity F*** Club.

If programming catapults Ashley Dupre to the top of the celebutante ladder, why stop there? Throw in a record deal! If Brooke Hogan and Heidi Montag can cut an album, it might be a charttopping success! They can also add a movie deal, creating a modernized version of Pretty Woman… but in the end, instead of Richard Gere showing up with a limo, a money-hungry producer shows up with a TV contract.

Seriously, though, where are we going to go when this novelty wears off? How dirty is reality television going to get before draw the line? How many talentless nymphomaniacs are going to get rich while we struggle to pay off our student loans? I, personally, am sick of seeing these women re-objectify the gender every week and make a bad name for sexually liberated women who don’t need the cameras rolling 24/7. I prefer my walks of shame to go unrecorded, thank you very much.

At The Erotic View, men can chat about hoohas for pay, and the adorably nicknamed “Net Walkers” (get it? Like night walkers? GET IT??) can make those very same hoohas known.

In other words, this is basically a review system for prostitutes. Men rank women on many aspects of their appearance and services. They can also chat on message boards, detailing how good the prostitute was and what she will and won’t do. To access many of these message boards (supposedly not for the faint of heart), you have to become a VIP, which seems to involve writing a certain number of reviews. Think of these prolific men as film critics…except instead of film, they’re reviewing sex-for-hire. And lady parts.

But don’t think it’s all about the men. Sex workers can also advertise on this site. This way, the men who love prostitutes enough to actually review them on a website can find even more prostitutes to hire and review.

It’s win-win!

Well, kind of. Apparently, prostitutes are benefiting from this service, and I guess the men who use it are happy. But isn’t prostitution, I don’t know, generally illegal? And isn’t it a little degrading to women to be advertised like a beanie baby on an e-Bay auction?

I actually went to the site to see what it’s like. It’s surprisingly non-graphic. There are no nakey pics or anything like that.

What it is, is a prolongued grading system. Apparently, “Susan/Soccer Mom” has boobs that are “super nice,” at least according to one reviewer (of many).

Classy, friends. Is this the future?

There have always been prostitutes and I’d wager there always will be. However, with all the violence against prostitutes (did you know they are quite often the target of serial killers and the like? Well, they are.), you’d think they’d want to move away from the woman-as-objects thing. And, yes, I know, they sell their bodies. But they are still women, and, more importantly, they are still people.

Is this completely degrading or is it just me?

[Image courtesy of http://img.dailymail.co.uk/]

• A fetish fair in NYC? Awesome! Not awesome: Men are forced to wear a “two-inch strip of leather up their backsides”…can’t they make it 4 inches? (NY Mag)

• Remember that book you read back in high school, 1984? It’s finally here in the form of…Gas Station TV! (freep.com)

• Schools are no longer allowing emotion through its doors! Bueller…Bueller? (chicagotribune.com)

• At least Britney isn’t this bad…we hope. (CBS6 Albany)

• I’m not usually into violence, I just thought lions as a whole had it coming. (You Tube)

Right. He’s just some old, white dude who used to have a long title. But his reasons for resigning are more interesting than you might think. The State Department claimed that Tobias resigned for “personal reasons”. Personal as in, whoops I paid for prostitutes!

Yup. Tobias himself revealed to ABC News last week that he had been a client of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the alleged “D.C Madam” who supposedly ran an escort service that catered to some pretty high profile Washington D.C clients.

Palfrey herself is currently in court, fighting a federal racketeering and money-laundering indictment, and pages and pages of personal client information are being inspected in the process.

While Tobias claims that he hired “gals come over to the condo to give me a massage”, he denies any sexual contact. Palfrey also denies sex as being a component to her girls’ work, although any person with half a brain knows that escort service is basically synonymous with “high class prostitute”.

While I really don’t care what old white dudes do in the bedroom, I’ve always found it strange that these high powered men continually stoop to such stupid levels. Remember Ted Haggard? He was also a fan of “massages”, he just preferred his with a side order of Meth.

These men spend three fourths of their lives moving up in the ranks, reach the pinnacle of their careers, and then blow everything for sex? For sex?! (oh. excuse me. I mean, for massages?!) Is it just a case of I’m-So-Important-I-Forget-Rules- Apply-To-Me? Or pure stupidity? Is sex really that important, that vital, to these men? So crucial that they’re willing to get it illegally while risking their entire careers? I mean, I love me some good coital action, but jeopardizing everything else in my life for it seems a little redonkulous.

…Who knows? Maybe Tobias and Haggard were just confused. Maybe they just got the words escort service and professional masseuse mixed up. I mean…they both have S’s in them.