Lindsay Can’t Do Marilyn. Seriously.

35789025.jpgStripped down to a blonde wig and sheer pink scarf, a (dubiously) newly sober Lindsay Lohan was tapped by Bert Stern to recreate “The Last Sitting”, which was Marilyn Monroe’s iconic final photo shoot.

Stern, the original photographer of the 1962 shoot, sought out Lohan because he wanted a “controversial” star for his recreation, yet the result couldn’t be further from the original work.

Nice try, Mr. Stern, but there really is no one in Hollywood that could have done this unnecessary reshoot justice. You can’t even compare the two women. The only good movie Linds has done since “The Parent Trap” was “Mean Girls” and that had a lot to do with the fact that Tina Fey wrote it.

I want to take it seriously because I take Marilyn Monroe seriously, but these new pictures are absolutely devoid of meaning. “The Last Sitting”, was shot six weeks before Monroe’s death and has become representative of her career; “in them, we see an actress whose comedic talents were overshadowed by her sex appeal, a woman who is cannily aware of her pinup status.”

With Lohan – all I see is a bad wig and breasts that shouldn’t sag that much on such a young girl.

Lohan’s poor imitation lacks authenticity. Stern might see parallels between his two subjects, but using Lohan just sullies the vulnerability and sex appeal depicted in Monroe’s film; Linds’ eyes are utterly expressionless. Read More »


Sibling Rivalry: do slutty clothes give men the right to stare?

Victoria-Beckham-Posh-SpiceLast night, around 12:30 AM, I had a question. My brother had a desperate need for Wendy’s. We had 15 minutes, and somehow made another sibling rivalry discussion look easy (and English teachers everywhere cringe).

(23:56) Me: Can I ask you a question?

(23:56) The Bro: Ya, but hurry. I really wanna go to Wendy’s.

(23:57) Me: well, let’s say a girl walks into Wendy’s…and you’re standing in line behind her, and she’s wearing a short skirt and low shirt. Do you think her clothing gives you the right to stare at her?

(23:57) The Bro: hmm, the right? That’s funny wording

(23:58) Me: maybe “the right to ogle her”

(23:58) The Bro: I mean, technically, it’s my right to look at anything in a public place. Men look at breasts automatically. It isn’t something we do on purpose. We can train ourselves not to. Like for example, when I see MaryAnne, I know she has huge boobs. So I stare at her eyebrows. HARD. Or I look past her.

(00:00) Me: but if a girl’s wearing a cleavage-showing shirt…and she catches you staring…what do you do? Read More »