Everyone struggles with motivational issues at some point. With so many stressors and distractions constantly vying for our mind’s attention (alcohol, TV, alcohol again), feeling motivated to complete tasks can be REALLY difficult. However, it is important that goal-setting be a regularly-used skill in our daily lives. Being a serious procrastinator myself (hey, America’s Next Top Model reruns can be a little distracting, OK?), I have found that setting goals have made my thoughts and actions more organized, efficient, and clear-cut.

So how do you maximize the ability of your goals to motivate you?

Dr. Edwin Locke, a pioneer in the research of motivation and goal-setting (and probably a guest star in one of your PSY101 lectures), provides five characteristics of goals that each contribute to the goal’s effectiveness of promoting motivation. You wanna be successful (uh, duh!), take these into consideration:

Clarity
Goals that are clear are ones that are straightforward, able to be measured, and cause you to take action! Being specific is key—adopting a definite time set for a goal and an detailed description of what you want to achieve allows for a better understanding of potential rewards. Vague goals such as “Lose weight” or “Get ahead on schoolwork” are unlikely to motivate. However, goals such as “Lose 30 pounds by September 1st,” or  “Finish 3 assignments for next week before going out to the keg race,” are more likely to create a more tangible ending, therefore boosting motivation.

Challenge
It has been proven that more challenging goals are more motivating. We are often driven by things that challenge us (it’s true–despite how much you argue that sitting on the couch eating PB&J is better), so a more challenging goal equates to a higher level of satisfaction when completed. Also, the difficulty of the goal goes hand-in-hand with the level of reward on the other side, leading to increased potential rewards, as well (yay!). However, keep in mind that challenging goals also have to be realistic. Setting the bar too high (“Fit into a size 4 by tomorrow morning”) can lead to disappointment and, understandably, a decrease in motivation. However, setting the bar high enough to require extra effort and investment into the outcome will encourage commitment and passion for success.

Commitment
Commitment to personal goals can be difficult because most of the time we tend to be our worst managers (to put it lightly–we suck–way too many excuses!). However, by making the goal challenging, telling others about the goal (“I have to get my paper done by Thursday, so do NOT let me go out tonight!”), and setting checkpoints at which you assess your progress (use that pretty paper you bought at Barnes & Noble for a to-do list), the accountability and commitment will increase the likelihood of success.

Feedback
Feedback provides opportunities to do a “check-up” on how realistic our expectations are, adjust the difficulty of the goal, and gain recognition. As mentioned in the commitment section, it is important to create checkpoints for self-assessment and feedback. This helps to define progress and mark specific success along the way, making intermediate milestones within close reach (1 page, 2 pages, 3 pages– wait, is this supposed to be double or single-spaced?!). For example, if you are trying to lose weight, take pictures or weigh yourself every week!

Task Complexity
Goals need to be broken into specific expectations. Building your own expectations at the beginning of the process is helpful in carrying out and completing the tasks involved. Make sure that, if the task is difficult, to give yourself enough time to carry out all areas needing to be completed (“getting into a size 4, and getting Chris Pine to marry me by tomorrow” is not a suitable option). Also, give yourself enough time to learn any new skills that are required to achieve your goals. Learning to run properly, for example, is important to accomplish before being able to accomplish a goal of running a marathon.

By reviewing these factors while goal-setting, you are able to better create goals that improve motivation and, in turn, increase the chance of success. A helpful website for setting goals is Goalforit.com— you can set goals and sub-goals, add friends for accountability (ouch, embarrassment is a good motivator for me), and create your own personal profile. Also, if you are more adventurous, StickK.com allows you to wager bets with friends or “pay up” to a charity or “anti-charity” (an organization you despise) every time you do not meet a checkpoint on the way to your goal.

Here’s to going for the “goal-d”!

Everybody’s trying out this “positive psychology” thing. Basically, positive psychology is the attempt to change self-defeating, negative thoughts, like, “I hate myself because my thighs touch and hers don’t” into more positive ones like, “My thighs might touch, but my calves sure do look hot in heels…and I bet she’s anorexic anyway.” Or whatever.

Well, somebody thinks we’re doin ‘ it all wrong.

According to Canadian researchers, “just thinking positive” can actually have the opposite effect. It can make people realize just how miserable they truly are.

The study started by highlighting old research that if people get feedback they believe is overly positive, they just feel like more sh*t than they did originally. Like when my boyf grabs at my tummy fat and a minute later tries to tell me that I have “such a nice stomach.” You better believe that as soon as that boy is out the door, I’m gorging my face with Peanut Butter Passion ice cream in shame.

The article in TIME, which reported this research, states that, “If you tell your dim friend he has the potential of an Einstein, you’re just underlying his faults.” And no matter how dumb that person is, he knows it, you jerk.

So, what do the Canadians suggest we do? Accept our shortcomings, obvi. Embrace that extra pudge! Celebrate your low IQ! Know your faults and live with them. Fighting off those negative feelings will lead to failure and make things worse. But knowing what you’re dealing with – and being realistic – will make you feel a whole lot better.

Um, so we should be HONEST with ourselves and others? Who woulda thunk?

But hey, I’ll take any excuse to be a cynic.

[Photo source: craigharper.com ]

A new study, the results of which appear in the October issue of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, suggests that Facebook profiles can mirror the narcissism of their owners.

Besides being synonymous with being “egotistical,” “self-centered,” and “self-absorbed,” narcissism affects the ability of a person to form healthy, long-term relationships. According to W. Keith Campbell, a professor at the University of Georgia who co-authored the study in question, “Narcissists are using Facebook the same way they use their other relationships – for self promotion with an emphasis on quantity of over quality.”

You know those people that add you as a friend after a 30-second convo, or because you know one of their friends (or their friend’s friends?) The ones who have 10,562 friends…in their main network alone? These Facebookers also have a variety of photo albums on their page– most of which are full of self-portraits and glamour shots taken in the mirror. These are the FB users who most clearly exhibit signs of narcissism.

The growth spurts of social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace have grabbed the attention of behaviorists who want to explore how personality traits are expressed online. “We’ve undergone a social change in the last four or five years and now almost every student manages their relationships through Facebook – something that few older people do,” asserts Campbell. “It’s a completely new social world that we’re just beginning to understand.”

I wonder what else we can learn from peoples’ Facebook quirks. For example: what do we learn from the girl who changes her status every five seconds, so you always know EXACTLY where she is and what she’s doing? How about the guy you haven’t talked to in months, yet still comments on all of your new FB photos, your status, even what other people are writing on your wall?

What would you like to learn from Facebook? Do you agree with this study?

Wait, what? Isn’t obesity a major health concern?

Actually, the New York Times reports that “despite concerns about an obesity epidemic, there is growing evidence that our obsession about weight as a primary measure of health may be misguided.”

It seems that medical research is taking a different path down the road of health, obesity, and weight loss studies. In fact, the Archives of Internal Medicine, as referenced in the Times suggests that half of overweight people and one third of obese people are actually “metabolically healthy.”

America’s obsession with beauty and looks has long stereotyped overweight people in a negative light. However, studies such as those mentioned above are proving that in many cases, thin or underweight people are in poorer health than those with a few excess pounds. The Journal of the American Medical Association conducted fitness tests and observed mortality rates of their subjects, and discovered that “fitness level, regardless of body mass index, was the strongest predictor of mortality risk.” Therefore, skinny people blessed with a fast metabolism will still find working out to be advantageous to their health, and “big boned” individuals should not be written off as being “lazy” or “sluggish,” as stereotypes suggest.

While findings from studies covering moderate weight issues are drawing new lines between “healthy” and “unhealthy,” ironically, one of the world’s greatest medical mysteries remains the issue of morbid obesity. ABC News reports that the morbidly obese Manuel Uribe, the one-time world’s heaviest man who is now trying to break the world record for weight loss, is in good health despite his enormous weight.

“I have accumulated fat,” Manuel has stated (an understatement, in my opinion), “but I’m healthy. I don’t have sugar, cholesterol, triglycerides, diabetes or high blood pressure. My heart works perfectly fine.”

Uribe’s doctor agrees and notes, “We don’t have an explanation.” This type of morbid obesity is extreme, but can be triggered by brain chemistry, genetic mutation, or a combination of psychological issues, which is why it is so baffling to doctors and scientists.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, anorexia nervosa can cause heart problems such as palpitations (or even failure), and bulimia nervosa can cause irregular heart beat or rupturing of the stomach, along with a slew of other complications.

The bottom line, according to University of South Carolina professor Stephen Blair, is that doctors should be talking to all patients about the value of physical activity, regardless of body size.

Blair raises an excellent question in the Times article:

“Why is it such a stretch of the imagination to consider that someone overweight or obese might actually be healthy and fit?”

The fact that I did well in school left me with a lot of confidence and self worth when I moved on and began doing other things. I knew that I could do just about anything if I wanted to, which is how I approached the job hunt after college and how I continue to approach every task that is put in front of me. I know I am intelligent and capable and that leaves me with a sense of comfort and mental clarity as I go through life.

I can totally understand, then, the results of a recent study that claim that women who are expelled or drop out of high school experience a much higher rate of mental instability and depression than men.

For one thing, the inability to complete a task will weigh on anyone; especially one that will affect the course of the rest of your life. And, because women tend to be more in tune with their emotions, it makes sense that this would affect them more than their male counterparts. (Or at least what those macho, “I’m fine” boys are reporting.)

It is also a lot easier for men to make a life for themselves without a high school degree. There are many more jobs available to men than to women, like plumbers, mechanics, and working in construction. Yes, women can do those things too, but do they? Is there a 50/50 split in those industries? No. If women have limited job opportunities, how can they ever pull themselves up and feel confident about the life they are living?

The results of this study are sad and telling, but will hopefully do more than just bring this issue to light. Education is the foundation of EVERYTHING in this country and – as we see here – it provides a lot more than a piece of paper on graduation day.

Sex, after all, is supposed to be about love and expressing that love with a very special someone.

Or, at least, it should be free.

But it seems that maybe this whole “trading sex for something” thing is actually innate in all of us. A at the University of Michigan (Go Blue!) revealed that many people – including those from affluent backgrounds – were willing to (and already had!) trade sex for a good or service.

The results shocked many. Why would someone who has everything – and the means to get anything they needed – reduce themselves to bartering with their loins? I am no Psychologist (even if I did minor in Psych at UofM), so I won’t even attempt to answer that. Instead, I pondered the many things I would give it up for.

Ketel One – Such a lovely vodka; it gives me the best drunk. And it’s expensive.

A Cleaning Lady…er…Man: Seriously, I would do just about anything to get my tub sparkling.

A Miu Miu Bag – What can I say? I love it.

A Diane Von Furstenberg Dress – I’m a slave for fashion. I can’t help it if I’d rather roll around in a random bed (or bathroom) than fork over the $500 for one of these beauties.

Free cabs home from the bar – Wait. I already do this.

A Delicious Meal – A little love for some Lobster? Count me in. I really love to eat. What can I say?

A trip to Europe – Italy is so romantic. I could totally fake the romance to get there.

An ‘A’ – Let’s be honest; this would definitely be a more enjoyable all-nighter.

A job – Probably the most fun way to get to the top.

An Oreo milkshake at Potbelly – They are that. good.

Free Cable and Internet: Comcast/RCN kills me every month. How bad would it be to have a monthly booty call for free HBO? Sounds almost perfect.

To Move Me: Moving trucks get expensive and God knows how much I hate packing. I would even give it up to one of the burly movers (after downing a bottle of Ketel One, of course)

It’s nature, ladies. Don’t fight it. What would you do?

Three nights ago, as I’m spooning in bed with my ex-boyfriend/current fling (the lines are a little blurred), he, out of the blue, drops a line that no ex-girlfriend ever wants to hear spoken about herself: he called me crazy.

I was speechless. Everything had being going rather well all night: I looked super-hot, we were flirting like mad and we had just engaged in a no-fuss, delicious two-hour romp on his blow-up mattress, resulting in the big “O” for both parties.

And then he had to go and ruin our post-coital snuggle session with the dreaded “C” word.

Now, let me set the record straight. This is definitely not the first time a male in my life has called me crazy. Everyone from my dad and brother to my high school gym teacher has felt the need to express their opinion about my level of sanity.

I can’t deny that maybe, they were right to drop the C-bomb. Let’s just say that high school was rough for me. I was involved in a serious relationship, which led me to act like a serious fool. I yelled really loud, pushed really hard and generally caused extreme amounts of unnecessary stress for everyone involved in my life. But hey, I was sixteen, riding high off the fumes of sweet adolescent hormones, and I didn’t think – I just DID.

Of course, douchebag ex-boyfriend heard all the juicy details of my teenage drama during our first year of dating. I mean, if I had to endure all the pain and horror – it was only fair that I pass it onto him, right? (Note: I realize now this was a huge mistake and that some skeletons really are better kept in the closet – forever.) So, after I got upset about a girl attempting to kiss him in front of me after a little too much jungle juice, he decided it was time to break out the one insult he knew would cut straight to the heart.

Okay, back up and let’s examine this. I don’t have a Psych minor for nothing.

Recently, a fellow CC blogger discussed the legit-ness of the idea that “once a cheater, always a cheater”. I’m here to tell you that cheating is not the only habit that can be broken, so is psychotic-obsessive-crazy girlfriend syndrome.

I was psycho/obsessive/crazy because I was one thing and one thing only (and it wasn’t crazy). It was insecure. I was blatantly, unabashedly wearing my insecurity on my sleeve, much like Brit or LiLo. I didn’t really know or understand that I was insecure, but all of my behavior stemmed from the little insecurity seed that had at some point sprouted in my impressionable brain.

So, many years (and cocktails, therapy sessions, The Secret-esque books,, and Positivity Blog entries) later, I find that a lot of my craziness has kind of…vanished. Poof. No more obsessively calling my boyfriend twenty times when he doesn’t answer. No more late-night drive by’s of his apartment to see if there is a girly-looking car in the driveway. No more incessant complaining and/or crying when a boy doesn’t respond to my every beck and call.

Nope. I, my friends, am cured. I am secure. I am confident. I am happy. I am whole. And most importantly, I am NOT f-ing crazy!

Some people (namely, the douchebag ex) will argue that craziness is something that doesn’t completely go away. And maybe, to an extent, this is true. I think we all have a certain amount of craziness in us. But, thankfully, L-O-V-E is probably the only thing that brings it out in most of us – and only if we let it.

But, for the most part, I don’t see myself engaging in crazy behaviors – at least to the level I did before – ever again. I have realized that if a stupid boy makes me feel crazy, or makes me feel that I need to act crazy, he is just not worth it. My sanity is much more important than some relationship that is (obviously) not even worth fighting for.

I encourage all of you to let go of all the ‘labels’, all the names you might have been called over the years – whether that be crazy, slutty, weird, prude, whatever – because in the end, we can all change. As humans, our personalities and our behaviors are not set in stone. Yes, it can be hard to change. But if you want something – you can have it. And remember, the labels other people give us mean absolutely nothing if we know in our hearts what we really are.

So, I let the douchebag ex call me crazy. I bit my tongue and pulled the covers slightly tighter around my body, letting him know that whatever other activities he had planned were officially cancelled…and let him whine and moan and complain. And, frankly, act a little crazy himself.

Funny how the tables can turn.

[photo from the talent pool company]

I have never found him particularly attractive, but he does have this strange quality about him that makes me feel super comfortable. Besides his occasional drunken sexual advances, he mostly treats me like a little sister (and this includes body slamming me into couches, stealing my cigarettes and calling me affectionate names like “Bitch” and “Asshole”).

Basically, I am completely not attracted to him in a sexual and/or romantic way. But that all changed Friday night when I walked into a mutual friends place to see one of my girls sitting – where else? – on drunken Douche’s lap.

As I watched my friend caress Douche’s face with her fingers and giggle wildly at his drunken antics, I felt something: a little twinge of jealousy. Was she really sitting that close to him? Did she find him attractive? What did she see in him that made him boyfriend – or at least late-night hook-up – material? Was I missing something? Was Douche actually dateable or had I just ingested far too many glasses of Carlo Rossi?

I found myself wanting to get closer to him. I was the girl he always play fought with when he was drunk! I was the girl who always did stuff like sit on his lap and play with his hair and wait for him to turn it into a full-on tackle on the living room floor!

Turns out, the way I was feeling has much less to do with Mr. Rossi and much more to do with simple evolutionary psychology. Basically, a study conducted earlier this year by British psychologists showed that women judge how attractive a guy is by the way other women view him.

This phenom has been dubbed the ‘copycat reflex’ and it all relates back to evolution. If a female has a couple potential mates to choose from but can’t decide on the best one, she can take a hint from the way her rivals (as in, other females) behave toward a certain male.

I see this happen all the time. Like when you find yourself crushing on your best friend’s boyfriend. Or when other girls fawn all over your boyfriend as soon as you two decide to make it official. I think it works the same way with males, too. As soon as you get a boyfriend, it seems like every guy on the planet wants to get with you. And when you’re single? Suitable guys are like, nowhere to be found.

After seeing my girl all up on one of my best guy friends, I freaked out. However, all was resolved the next day when we were sober and she swore that she in no way had a thing for Douche. Immediately, the ‘feelings’ I had developed for him the night before dissipated and I was ready to attack him with my newly-invented pseudo-karate move next time we crossed paths.

So, what’s the moral of this story? Wanting the dude that every girl at the party/club is flirting with is totally natural.

So you just better hope those bitches have good taste.

Click on a cocktail to see what secrets your favorite beverage reveals about your inner self.

                beer                          martini                          scotch                            red wine

                 lemon drop               champagne                  cosmo                             rum and coke

Long after graduation, you’ll find yourself using some of the knowledge (hopefully, your major) everyday. Other courses will disappear from your mind as quickly as they appear.

For example, I now only think of the two required semesters of Western Civilization when Alex Trebek asks a question related to the Ottoman Empire.

A few classes outside my major, though, have yielded a value far beyond the tuition dollars paid for them. I advise any college student to find time to take five courses. Perhaps one or two will be required and one or two can fill elective options. Even if that’s not the case, don’t graduate without these on your transcript and in your head!

Speech Communications

When you ask people what scares them most, the most common answer is public speaking. This class may not completely cure a fear of public speaking, but it can give you the confidence you need to make a presentation in front of crowds. More than that, the class teaches how a good speech is organized. You’ll learn how to use humor (and when to avoid it) and how to keep an audience interested. Speech classes generally give plenty of practice in writing, researching and delivering speeches…all followed by valuable feedback.

Psychology

This one is obvious. Even though the first class is very basic, you’ll learn a lot about yourself, others and relationships. This class will improve your parenting skills, your skills as a spouse and give you a broader understanding of mankind.

Biology

Just as psychology provides an understanding of how the human mind works, biology provides a look into how the human body and other forms of life work. My instructor was great and I was in the class with a bunch of nursing students, so we really got deep in the subject. I learned the basics of nutrition, how my body works and how to tell when/what is wrong. (And the dissecting part isn’t but a day or two!)

Speed Reading

I actually was able to take this as an elective, but my cousin is now taking it as a non-credit course. She had to pay an extra $100, but it’s worth it. Take it early in your academic career and you’ll reap benefits in hours of time saved. It doesn’t matter what your major is…most of your junior and senior years will be spent reading. Speed reading offers practical skills that increase your reading speed while actually improving comprehension. So, it can actually help on exams like the LSAT and the GRE.

Journalism

Okay, everyone has to take English composition. In this class, you’ll learn how to write essays, the basics of grammar and how to document research. That’s all great, but basically you’ll learn how to write for college. Journalism teaches you how to write for life. You’ll learn the principles of good writing for after college, when you’re expected to produce reports, analysis and correspondence that others will want to read.

“Five Classes You Shouldn’t Leave College Without” was written by Amanda Cartwright. Her other works for AC Content Producers can he seen HERE.