Don’t lie to me. We all do it.

We curl up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, a Diet Coke and soak up every minute of teenage nostalgia, especially the angst-y, heartbreak-y, hormone-driven parts that come with the High School Movie. We may be out of high school, but that doesn’t mean we’re over it. Our very fascination with those 4 years and the events that might have changed our lives is secretly compelling to us. So we watch. And we love it.

And that’s OK. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a little high school drama (and an occasional choreographed dance) again. There is so much to be learned from those flicks and so much happiness to be gleaned from the fact that we are no longer living them.

Just to let you know that indulging in high school drama is a healthy and well-adjusted way to waste your free time, I created a list of the best/awesomely funny/most ridiculous high school movies you will ever see.

1. Get Over It

Because breaking up is never funny (all the time) but getting over it is. High School Basketball star Burke Landers (Ben Foster) gets chucked by his girlfriend, who then takes up with the cocky, arrogant, “Mary Poppins sounding” Striker (Shane West). Burke ends up stalking them into the school play A Midsummer Night’s Dream, landing a lead role (after a series of unfortunate events) and develops a closer relationship with his best friends’ sister (Kirsten Dunst). If the way Burke attempts to get over the girl doesn’t get you, his “hip and understanding” parents will make you cringe and the boy band-esque song Ben Foster and Shane West perform will make you wet your pants… or vomit in your mouth.

Oh, I almost forgot: Sisqo of “Thong Song” fame has a supporting role.

2. Drive Me Crazy

They’re next door neighbors, former BFFs before high school. She’s preppy (Melissa Joan Hart). He’s alternative (Adrien Grenier). She wants to get a date for prom. He wants his girlfriend back. Quid Pro Quo. They fall for each other under watch of the scheming socialistas of high school. Nothing says true love like scheming for a prom date. Pre-Entourage Adrien Grenier is still oh so pretty. Yes, pretty.

Btw, they use similar SAT words that the supposed 15 year olds of Dawson’s Creek encouraged. Love it.

3. Some Kind of Wonderful

Classic. Mary Stuart Masterson is Watts. Her BFF is Keith (played by Eric Stoltz) is in love with the popular girl (what else is new). Watts, out of the kindness of her heart, helps him and realizes she’s falling for him. Why watch? Because Mary Stuart Masterson is amazing. She’s the tomboy you want to be.

John Hughes, writer/director/producer of Brat Pack film fame, gives this movie Pretty in Pink ‘s original ending. Is that a teardrop I see?

4. Dead Poets’ Society

You know how comedic actors try serious roles and are super successful and under rated? (Will Ferrell in Stranger Than Fiction, Jim Carrey in The Majestic and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) This is Robin Williams’ moment. John Keating is the teacher above all teachers. Walt Whitman never made me cry harder than when Ethan Hawke saluted his teacher with O Captain, my Captain. Aw man, here I am getting misty eyed again.

This movie captures the awakening of adulthood within teenagers. It explores sex, suicide, love, and passion. It encourages Thoreau’s view that “the universe is wider than our views of it.”

This movie gets you.

5. Footloose

Ren (Kevin Bacon) moves to a town that banned public dancing and music. Think about how that would affect your life. Especially with a soundtrack this danceable!! You’ll sing along to “Let’s Hear It for the Boy” when he teaches his best friend Willard to dance. There’s also a lesson to learn about teenage relationships and abuse. (Dear Rihanna, I thought of you and CB.)

6. The Virgin Suicides

Kirsten Dunst has a knack for choosing fantastic roles. In this movie she is Lux Lisbon, the oldest in a family of five girls. The sisters suffer under their overprotective parents after the youngest sister commits suicide. The Lisbon girls are placed under house arrest and home schooled by their parents after Lux returns home the morning after a dance, their records are taken away and it seems like there’s nothing to live for. The story is told by the boys who lived next door and were fascinated by the girls. It’s a beautiful story. A bit bland but still heart wrenching. I guess the ending won’t be much of a surprise.

7. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

If you don’t know, get familiar. Enough said.

8. Angus

Tagline: For everyone on the outside looking in…your moment has arrived! I saw this movie when I was 14 and I have always remembered it. Before James Van Der Beek found the Creek, he was a bully with a seriously tweaked sense of humor who tormented Angus. Angus is ostracized and humiliated by his peers because of his obesity. In addition, the girl of his dreams is the girlfriend of the bully of his nightmares. Armed with no confidence and fading hope, Angus tries to be invisible until he can leave the school.

9. Heathers

The Original Mean Girls!! They’ve got sex appeal and intimidation down. The Heathers could eat Regina George alive! Though Veronica is the one that should be feared. She killed them all. There are two lessons to learn from this movie:

1. Mean people suck!
2. Popularity leads to murder?

Still working on that last one.

10. Election

You are not an overachiever if you’re not Tracy Flick. She slept with, then blackmailed her teacher to win an election. I bet you’ve only made straight A’s. BO-RING!

There you have it. The best of the best high school movies.
Order from Netflix, visit Blockbuster, or buy online. Just watch em!

In a dark, moderately dirtball Irish pub with adorable bartenders straight from Ireland, I am approached by a liquor promoter. He’s pretty good-looking, obviously a flirt because who else takes a job as a promoter, and so begins his attempt as he hands me a keychain:”Who do you get? Who do people always say you look like?”

I reply the truth, no one, because no one even thinks I look like myself after changing the hair. But the promoter has an opinion,

“Okay, so, you definitely don’t have some features she has, which is a good thing, but—”

Is he serious? I am intrigued by the obvious trap he is setting for himself. Why is it that dumb must always accompany pretty?

“—did you watch Blossom? I swear, you’re a post nose-job Blossom…. No, it’s a good thing!”

Was it really? I spent the rest of the evening staring at my nose in the mirror behind the bar and glaring at the promoter, who at the end of the evening thought he had a shot at seeing me at his ‘gig’ next weekend.

Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I’ve gotten better celebrities than Blossom. Even “You’re tall,” is a better line than likening me to a questionable celeb, and that’s just stating the obvious! (Some of my guy friends have reviewed and considered the tall bit a “genius” conversation starter. Case and point, how lines like this get started and circulate.)

It seems like T-Pain’s “Buy U A Drank” has been the inspiration for the “greatness” of pickup lines lately. And by “greatness” I mean wow, it looks as though people have given up completely.

Remember the days of “I lost my number, can I have yours?” and “Are you tired? ‘Cause you’ve been running through my mind all night.”? Yes, the lines were terrible and cheesy and limited to usage by 15-year-olds, but now at least they were sort of sweet and not flat-out insulting. Now it’s just kind of obvious. “Hey… can I buy you a drink? Maybe hook up? No? Cool. Thanks.”

This sort of flirtation has got to get expensive. If you’re ever out at night and wondering why your potential hook-ups aren’t a-flockin’, maybe they literally can’t afford to be turned down again.

Shows like The Pickup Artist, and it’s horrendous host Mystery, have inspired far too many men nationwide. The I-O-I’s (indicators-of-interest, for those who aren’t savvy), the dating advice from a man who I cannot imagine ever getting laid in his life…. It’s all bringing our single scene to ruin. It also inspired my roommate’s Halloween costume.

Where have the witty, chatty single people gone? Are they all really in relationships, or have they just devoted their lives to bigger things, like alcohol promotion?

Heard any good lines lately, or wonderfully bad ones? Trust that we feel your pain… and at least we can all laugh about it together. Share some of your stories with us!

This summer I’m proud to say I actually did a couple things with my life, including a relaxing week-long vacation in London with only the very best of sidekicks, my awkwardly hilarious sister.

Lucky for us, two chickadees who tend to violently swat the air when someone’s smoking a ciggy nearby, we arrived on the exact day that smoking was banned in any public restaurant, pub, or place. This ban was lucky for two secondhand smoke sneering tourists, not so lucky for stinky smelly pubs across Britain.

You know how strong the scent of smoke is? And how it seems to linger in the air seemingly forever? It’s like a bad beer-goggled hook up that you continously run into on campus, or a stage 5 clinger if you will. Well this permanent scent surprisingly turned out to be an asset in most England pubs, masking the stink of much worse odors, like stale beer and food, sweat, even deadly dreaded B.O. Yucky!

So what are the Brits doing to solve this stinker? Perfume.

Pub owners have begun pumping fragrances like leather, (“Evening mademoiselle, veelcome to our luxuuurious pub, might I interest you in a delectable tequila shot?“) fresh cut grass, and ocean breeze into their bars. What a treat it would be to enjoy a gin & tonic and simultaneously realize I’ve forgotten to mow the lawn. Though I suppose anything is better than beer with a splash of b.o.

Who knows, maybe the Brits’ fragrance line will give SJP’s Covet a run for its money. Or maybe the Brits should nix the ocean breeze aroma and just set aside the pub crawl ’til the next time they have a cold.

Stuffy nose, good booze, everyone’s happy!