If you haven’t heard of a Merkin, you are in for a treat. The Real Housewives of New York City‘s Cindy Barshop is bringing back the Merkin, a wig (yes, a wig) for the pubic area. Cindy believes she has a winner here with her “foxy bikini.” Apparently women around the world are screaming with excitement because you can now buy a real fox fur Merkin for only $225. But really, who would actually buy a pube wig?

Gawker.com accurately described this product as something in a “nightmare porno from the id of Dr. Seuss.” That or it’s those trees from Horton Hears a Who. While Cindy might be upset, I think there are much better uses for the fox-furred work of art. Here are some of my ideas, but I’m sure you can get creative and come up with hundreds more:

initiating the gallery...

Ashley is a freshman at George Washington University and she’s majoring in Overanalyzing Situations and International Affairs. Follow her on twitter @ashleybrooks25.

There’s been a growing trend in the vag-o-sphere. And it’s all about making your lady parts look pretty and shiny and….bedazzled?! Yes. Bedazzled. Because it’s no longer about the sexy lingerie and the sexy banter. It’s all about dressing up your vagina like every sexual encounter is a debutante ball for your most fun body part. Unsure about what we’re talking about?

Check out our guide to making your vagina sparkle (possibly, literally):

So you’re a beginner Vag-terior Decorator? First, you need to remove all your hair. Now you have a few options, let’s discuss:

Waxing: Popular, yet painful. But it sure beats shaving.

Brazilian: Bye bye hair. Like all your hair. A few screams, a few Advils, and you’re hair free for 3-6 weeks.

Laser: Because hot wax wasn’t enough torture for you. The upside? It’s permanent. The downside? Someone is shooting a laser at your vagina.

Now that you’re hairless, it’s time to get fancy:

Vajazzling: The sounds-like-an-SNL-skit procedure was made popular by Jennifer Love Hewitt in 2010. It’s basically bedazzling your down there. Once you’re freshly bare, the crystals are applied to your lady bits. Oh and don’t worry, there is a do-it-at-home kit that comes stocked with different patterns and colors.

Hair grown back? No fear!

Dye it! You now have the option of matching your curtains to the rug! Any rug in your house that is! Yep, you can go for a more natural strawberry blonde or a more wild electric blue.

All these vagina treatments get your Hooha stressing out? Well then it’s time to hit the spa!

Vagina Steam Bath: This treatment involves squatting over a boiling pot of a mugworth tea blended with wormwood and some other herbs sprinkled in. Apparently, this is supposed to reduce stress, fight infections, clear hemorrhoids, regulate menstrual cycles and air infertility.

Vajacial: No you didn’t read the wrong, I’m talking a facial on your vajayjay. Don’t worry, it isn’t like a trip to the gyno. It’s more of a facial. They rid you of any acne (I pity anyone who has the problem), take out ingrown hairs, exfoliate, cleanse, and make you smoother than smooth.

Okay, your destressed, always ready to impress Vag has been getting tons of action….and now it’s feeling a little loose. Don’t worry! There’s a treatment for that!

Vaginal Rejuvenation:  There is a surgery that goes into your vagina and fixes/tightens all of the muscles. You can also get your hymen redone (in case losing your virginity wasn’t awkward enough the first time). But if you aren’t into surgery,  then you can still strengthen your va jay with a new kind of “heath” spa called Phit (pelvic health integrated techniques). Yep, that’s a thing.

Okay, okay, your vagina is in the best shape of your life…but you’re still not getting to the big O.

Well it’s time for a G-Shot. The G-shot, clever name, was created to amplify the G-spot sensations. It involves a shot of collagen in your G-spot, while you lay there under local anesthetics. The shot takes 8 seconds, and all in all is a quick procedure. The effects last for 3 months.

So, now that we’ve given you a guide to redecorating your vagina, we want to hear from you! Have you ever done of these things? Are you okay with girls vajazzling for guys? Or maybe you think hair removal is sexist….tell us in the comments!

Aside from the magnificent addition to my everyday vocabulary, there are tons of reasons why I’m  happy vagina wigs are making a come back.  They’re really quite versatile pieces.  I don’t know how we got along without them as an integral part of our wardrobes.  In fact, I can think of hundreds of ways to incorporate the merkin into any and all of my outfits.  Night out with the girls? Sequined merkin.  Day at the park?  Turf merkin (000 matchy matchy).  Interview?  Tweed merkin (perhaps a tad scratchy).

Originally, I was a little iffy about the merkin.  It did start as a cover up for genital sores for prostitutes in the 15th Century, after all.  BUT, now it’s gaining mainstream popularity.  The merkin (or a less gaudy version of the awesome merkins that will soon crowd my underwear drawer) is even used while filming movies to avoid full frontals and lower MPAA ratings.  Hell, Kate Winslet wore one in The Reader to increase her amount of pubic hair (apparently she didn’t have enough pubes to play an aging Nazi…who knew?)!

While I will continue to trim and wax down there, I know that now I have a fashionable option if I feel a bit chilly or need to go all out for a really special occasion.  Wardrobe crisis over!

Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send 'em over!.]

“So I was going to go to the package store, and then I thought, hey, you know what, Fruit by the Foot. That ever happen to you?”

“It’s been a hairy week. Pubic hair, mostly.”

“I’m furious! This is terrible! The whole place smells like… boys! I’m gonna have to make, like, 20 bags of popcorn to get the stink out!”

(A teacher.)

“I love all my students. They’re just the cutest little puppies. Now, my puppies, let’s talk about sex.”

“I’d go to church if they had, like, communion eclairs or something. Or communion steak.”

“Or communion free money.”

“… and I was like, oh, my God, my nephew is eight years old and he’s wearing a huge hat with a shark fin on it. He’s one of those kids.”

“We should get more interns. They’re like human-shaped trash disposals.”

“Go to sleep, b****! Die, motherf***er, die! Time’s up b****, close your eyes!”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Oh. I, uh, I guess you haven’t heard that song.”

“No.”

And this gem, thanks to a CC reader:

“It’s a benefit concert about alcohol awareness.”

“But I AM aware!”

Huh. Pube dye. Who knew?

As I was in a rush, I didn’t have time to read the packaging of this amazing product, but I made a mental note of the company’s site address so as to better educate myself on the cosmetic industry’s newest attempt to cash in on our general feeling of inadequacy in our natural state. And what bettybeauty.com tells me is that creator Nancy Jarecki got the idea while visiting a salon in Rome where the colorist-in-residence would provide her customers with a little package of the dye she used on their hair to color their short and curlies with in the comfort of their own homes. So impressed was Ms. Jarecki with this idea that when she got back to the States she teamed up with salon owner, a gynecologist, a toxicologist, and a hair dye manufacturer to create the Betty pubic hair dye collection.

Betty pube dye is available in black, auburn, blonde, brown, hot pink, and, for the modern bride, pale blue. (You know, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue…yikes.) The company also produces Betty Charmcils, which are stencils that you can use in conjunction with razors or wax to form your pale blue pubic hair in to sexy shapes like bowties and peace symbols.

Huh. Pube stencils. Who knew?

As far as I’m concerned, all of this information really begs the question, what the f*ck? First of all, who the hell cares enough about their pubic hair that they’re dyeing it? If you’re that dissatisfied with how it looks, wouldn’t you just go bare? Secondly, I don’t know about you guys, but I kind of like to draw as little attention to my pubes as possible. They’re there, and that’s fine; I keep them neat and trimmed up and they, in turn, hang out and keep me from looking like a five-year-old. It’s a good relationship. I really don’t need to drop trou and have whoever is around be like, “Wow, your bush is really well-matched to your head hair!”

If I was going gray, maybe I would feel differently. Maybe in an attempt to cling to my fading youth I would color it up and continue to tell anyone fortunate enough to be there when I have my drawers off that I’m still in my 30s. But even considering that scenario, that in no way justifies the hot pink and blue options and the Charmcils. (I mean, they’re called Charmcils, for f*ck sake.)

Perhaps I’m just a pube traditionalist, and have more important things to concern myself with than carpet color. I’d be interested to hear the opinions of others about this, what I perceive to be, superfluous product.

Now excuse me while I put on my foundation, concealer, mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, blush, lip-gloss, perfume, nail polish, pluck my eyebrows, shave my legs, and bleach my teeth. Ahem.

She has outlined some “dealbreakers” for us to go by when it comes to that guy you may or may not be interested in! Agree? Disagree? Let us know in the comments!

According to the website, the founder was in Rome and saw a hairstylist slyly slip a bag of a little extra hair dye to a woman and whisper “Per sotto, per farli combaciare” which translates to “for the hair down there…to make it match.” After reading the story, I figured that this would appeal most to someone who might be going grey down there (mental image of the Sex and the City episode where Samantha dyes her pubes and they end up orange) so I decided to ask my mom about the product to get her thoughts.

Now mind you, my mother is a total hippie-at-heart (the woman only wears a bra from the hours of 9-5) and after being asked what she thought about the idea of women actually dying their pubic hair, she responded “eww, gross, WHO would do that?!” Still, I’m intrigued. The dyes don’t just come in shades of brown, black, blonde and red…they have “Fun Betty” that is hot pink (yes…hot pink pubic hair dye) and “Sun-Burst Betty” that is orange.

They’re even coming out with more colors like lilac, green, bright red, blue and stencils and glitter will also be joining the pube band-wagon. Though these products claim to be completely safe, I can hardly wait to watch everyone scratching their crotches after this turns into one big healthcare disaster. Glitter in your crotch?!

Fortunately/Unfortunately, I won’t be able to test this product out anytime soon…but you can certainly give your hair down there a makeover for only $20 on BettyBeauty.com.