I am a chronic list-maker, whether I have to make a difficult decision or not.  Lists help me organize my thoughts and remember important facts and details that I need for later.  However, there are some things that I would rather forget and that’s what this week’s showdown concerns.

Everyone loves a diva.  Well, not really.  They just think that everyone loves them, despite having no real talent or anything to offer to society.  When you say “diva,” two women jump to mind – Mariah Carey and Jenifer Lopez.  The glitz, the glamor, the bad acting and the attitude (ohhh the attitude) define who they are.   Where would we be without these ladies?  Probably in a much less annoying world, but let’s make a list just to be sure…

Career
Mariah Carey is a machine, pumping out annoying hit after annoying hit.  Yes, I hate her music.  No, I can’t stop myself from trying to sing along with her in my car.  However, I categorically refuse to watch Glitter or any of her other attempts at “acting.”  Most of the rest of the world seems to refuse as well.

Jennifer Lopez used to be a good actress (Selena! I was so down with watching that movie every day in fifth grade…in between Titanic showings, of course).  Then something terrible happened and she started making movies like Angel Eyes and Monster-In-Law.  Her music isn’t great either. Read More »

Earthquake rocks California.

A Spanx clothing line? Where do we sign up?!

Something’s wrong with Josh Hartnett.

Does PETA kill animals?

Gisele makes me want to work out cry in the corner.

Fox’s newest dating show…for the larger people.

P. Diddy is racist?

A cure for the bikini bumps.

Madonna won’t let Octomom out mom her.

Wonder weener? What!?

So, Diddy Twitters. Which comes as no surprise, since he is the most narcissistic man around. He also likes Tantric Sex, which I learned after reading his latest Twitter: Diddy is “Having tantric sex!!! I feel so much better!!! Thank you”

Diddy tends to overshare (we already know the guy likes Brazilian waxes…on himself); that I know. What I didn’t know was why his new choice of sex made him feel good enough to use exclamation points. He just doesn’t seem like an exclamation point kinda guy. I mean, the man doesn’t smile!

So, what’s the deal with Tantric sex?

According to this article, Tantric sex seeks out to “reclaim the sexual intimacy that is our birthright.” It’s all about connecting mind, body, soul, emotion, and sexuality. Tantric teachers show students how to extend their sexual peak so that partners can experience several orgasms in one session.

What. The. Eff? No wonder Diddy’s feeling great; the man is having more orgasms than I’m having Cakesters. Right now. And that’s a lot.

I can’t even experience a single orgasm in one session, and Diddy’s gettin’ multiple? And having time to Twitter?! Where do I sign up?

I’ve already started researching the ways of Tantric sex and plan on studying that stuff like I’m studying for finals. Er, um, well,  better than I would study for finals! And probably instead of studying for finals.

Thanks for oversharing, Diddy. Now I love you for more than just Danity Kane.

I love cute baby pictures as much as the next pre-menstrual girl, but this? This is just a bit much. The bowties, the total nudity, the seductive look on Diddy’s face.

I feel so…dirty.

I know Danity Kane is in the crapper, but there are other ways to make a buck, P Dids.

How was Katie Holmes’ debut on Broadway?

It’s hard not to get laid these days, but some guys are just really good at it.

Paris Hilton has a champagne?

What does your Facebook group say about you?

She created the Morning After Bag; see what Rebecca Minkoff has coming next.

Tyra Banks is effing NUTS.

Audrina finally moves out of Chateau de Conrad.

This gives new meaning to the term “Big Daddy”

Pamela Anderson is dating an albino?

Puff Daddy, or Poop Daddy?

A little Will Ferrell comedy relief to get you through your Friday.

Giving credit where credit is due…hundreds of years later

Top Shop is coming to America with these awesome looks.

The top 10 penis types.

Margaret Cho won’t vote for Palin, but would totally eff her.

Body hair – for good reason – is a topic not often discussed. For one thing, there are far more interesting topics to talk about (like cupcakes, for example) than the unfortunate sprouting under your arms. For another, what is there really to discuss? It is pretty much understood that body hair needs to go away. End of discussion.

But, being a single woman who happens to be quite lazy when it comes to body hair maintenance, I really needed to know a few things. You see, I have found myself a precarious situation many times; I am invited back to someone’s house, sex is inevitable, but as I take his hand and follow him out to the cab I realize that I haven’t shaved my legs. In 4 weeks.

Is this a deal breaker? Do I tell him? Do I offer a rain check on the (what is sure to be amazing) sex? Do we swing by CVS on the way home to pick up a Quattro?

I asked my resident male advice-giver to give it to me straight. First he looked at me blankly. Then he asked my feelings on beards. Then he had this to say.

He Said:

In America, unlike France and most third world countries, we like our women as hairless as possible. And despite all the time, money and pain that goes into the hair-removal process, women prep themselves daily to avoid the humiliation of being caught in public with even a few wispy strands on their legs, or–heaven forbid!–a miniscule tuft emerging from their armpits. Not even eyebrows are allowed a moment of unruliness.

Men don’t often realize how much time women put into looking hot, each and every day. When getting ready to leave the house, all guys do is shower (maybe), shave our faces (sometimes) and throw on some pants (reluctantly). Because of this, we forget how much work goes into having a perfectly groomed bikini line, or hairless legs. And because we forget, seeing hair in places we don’t expect definitely surprises us, sometimes turning us off altogether. Read More »

We all deal with the trials and tribulations of bikini line maintenance on a pretty regular basis. So, why (oh why) are we forced to ignore the hair problem when it comes to our men?

Those days may soon be over. When I was sitting at my salon waiting for my appointment, I was flipping through this week’s Us Weekly, when I learned some very personal information about some of Hip Hop’s biggest stars.

Apparently, both Puff Daddy and Jay-Z are all about the male Brazilian. (Yeah, Beyonce!)

As in: hot wax, being applied to their man parts (and cracks!) and being ripped off by a large woman (most likely in need of a lip wax). Jay-Z was even quoted as saying, “bald is beautiful.”

So. Many. Thoughts. Going. Through. My. Mind. Read More »

“Prince Charming” continues to say stupid sh*t

Plus size summer fashion, baby!

Um, don’t eat the tomatoes

Wicked famous sports stars going broke? They’re not stupid, they’re just too trusting

Jessica Simpson gets inpsired by her own boobs

Is your summer fling already dead in the water?

I’ve figured it out. Puff Daddy wants to be Sybile. You know, the woman who had 13 personalities?

Know your in season fruit, mamas!

You might be dating a criminal if: you’re Anne Hathaway

[photo of R. Everett from abc.net]

A good playlist at the bar is important. A great playlist during pregame is critical, because let’s face it, pregame is more fun than going out itself nine times of ten.

Hate it or love it, here are some throwback jams to start your evening:

“OPP” by Naughty by Nature

Yeah, you know me!

Other people’s property? Sure… that’s what it means. Whether you know any of the actual lyrics or not, you can’t not scream the chorus.

“Shoop” by Salt N Pepa.

Ummm you’re packed and you’re stacked, ’specially from the back / Brotha wanna thank ya motha for a butt like that…

I can’t not be happy when I hear this song. I also have it memorized and spontaneously start rapping when it comes on. My friends have learned to embrace it. Read More »

Last time: boobs, Trantastique and germy make outs.

Onward…

The morning of episode 2 begins with Peyton the whiskey voiced informing whiskey hangover Courtney that she’s out. A girl named Sara makes known that her family has no idea where she is and that she’s on the show because of a dare. Since Aubry fang face is already labeled as the big mouth, she runs to tell Bret, who keeps that information in his jeans pocket.

Trantastique reads the challenge and despite the subtitles, I have no idea what she said.

Niki with the two-tone hair translates it and thinks that they’re going to be in a talent show. Turns out, the girls have to perform in a peep show booth for 30 seconds. If he likes when he sees, Bret will pop in a token for 15 extra seconds.

Wow. Nice to bring that 8th Avenue/New York City 25 cent peep show class to L.A. Read More »