Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she or he will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person and didn’t really trust the Yahoo community to answer for you. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I’ve been on the pill (normal combination pill) for 3 years. I am very happy with it. I never miss a pill, but I take it at very different times during the morning. Does this decrease the effectiveness?

A: It’s always better if you can take your pill as close to the same time as possible, but if you normally take it at 8am and the next day, it’s not until 11am, that shouldn’t make much difference. The one exception is very low dose pills like Yaz and Mircette (pills with 20 micrograms of estrogen). In this case, it’s more important to try to remember to take your pill at the same time.

Q: I was also wondering, is it possible to use the pill with the Mirena IUD? Would you recommend it?

I hear you, sister. I’m assuming you DO NOT want to get pregnant! While I appreciate the sentiment, I would not recommend using a Mirena IUD with a birth control pill. Both contain hormones that act differently. And since both the Mirena IUD and oral contraceptives are highly effective, I don’t see the reason to assume the risks of both. If you’re particularly worried about pregnancy and want to use double protection, consider condoms plus the Pill or condoms plus an IUD. But adding two hormonal methods together can really mess up your system.  

Q: And finally, when I’m having sex with my boyfriend we sometimes start without condoms and then later he’ll pull out and put a condom on and continue. How effective is this in preventing pregnancy when used in combination with the pill? We’re in a monogamous relationship & have been tested, so I’m not worrying about STDs.

A: If you’re religious about taking the pill, and you’re using the withdrawal method and you’re sort of using condoms, chances are good that you will be protected from pregnancy. But mostly, that’s because of the Pill, which in and of itself is highly effective. In general, withdrawing before ejaculation is not an effective method of birth control because sperm are present in the pre-ejaculate released before orgasm.  So if you want to do everything possible to protect yourself, put the condom on before you start fooling around and leave it on until you’re done and can safely remove it.

It’s all about assessing your own personal risk tolerance. No birth control is 100%, which means that sex can always result in pregnancy. That said, it sounds like you’re being very conscientious to try to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, and I commend you for that.

Is your partner opposed to wearing a condom during sex? My gut tells me that maybe you would be feel a bit more comfortable if he did. If so, maybe it’s worth having a chat with him about this. Remember, it’s your body, and if anybody gets pregnant, it will be you. Listen to your heart, and honor your body.

Get to know more about Dr. Lissa on her website, www.owningpink.com

It’s withdrawing, or “pulling out” as it is often referred.

The study, by sex researcher Rachel K. Jones, indicates that “if the male partner withdraws before ejaculation every time a couple has vaginal intercourse, about 4 % of the couples will become pregnant over the course of a year.”  With an 18% failure rate, the pull-out method comes pretty close to matching up with that of the condom’s 17% failure rate.

Whaaaa?  Haven’t we been taught forever that pulling out is the worst method of birth control? Haven’t we been giving up on the pleasure of condomless sex because it’s almost guaranteed that pulling out will leave us preggers? And, sidenote, condoms have a 17% failure rate? Why did no one tell me?!

This news is huge and sure to change some people’s decisions in the bedroom. Will people abandon the long loved (or loathed-but-dealt-with-because-having-a-baby-is-a-whole-lot-worse-than-a-little-less-sensitivity) latex that’s legacy as one of the most popular methods of contraception has lasted for over 400 years? It’s making me think a little bit…

But then again, would anyone be able to truly enjoy themselves without the latex barrier to protect them? I mean, this method may seem super awesome, but what about STDs?  Nowadays, diseases run rampant throughout college campuses, and “pulling out” can’t guarantee protection from those gross, and often deadly infections.  And who says the guy is even withdrawing at the right moment?  I don’t trust guys to order me the right drink at the bar (I’m picky…), so how can I trust them to do this right? If they wait even a second too long, it could mean a baby in my belly.

How comfortable are you depending on this method for birth control?  Does this study change your attitude about protection?

Question for the Tuffster?! Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her column every Tuesday! Ask anything, get a Tuffisized answer.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m just curious – what are some sex myths that aren’t true? I keep hearing stuff (like that you can you have sex under water with out a condom and you can’t get pregnant) that I don’t know if it’s true.

Thnx!

Curious

Dear Curious,

Thanks for your question–Tuffy luvs this shiz. Sex myths? Hysterical. But also dangerous. Okay, here’s a list of ones that are just that: myths. You can’t get pregnant from having sex under water. Uh, you can so get preggers from sex under water. You can also get STDs. Water don’t wash away sperm. Nice try though. Condoms, pleez.

You can’t get pregnant on your period. EHHH! Try again. You can totally be fertile while you’re menstruating.

Two condoms are better than one. Nope. Actually, using two condoms together make it more likely that they’ll rub against each other and break, leaving you wide open for pregnancy and STDs. Stick with the standard usage: one condom to a romp.

If you love someone, the sex will be great. Oh, life is never that simple. Sex doesn’t always mean love, and love doesn’t always mean good sex. It all needs honest communication and compatibility.

Oysters are an aphrodisiac. Just no.

If he pulls out, I can’t get pregnant. You know that little bit of fluid that comes out when he starts to get excited (but wayyyy before he comes)? That’s sperm, baby. It’s just less of it. It can still knock you up.

Mountain Dew prevents pregnancy by lowering sperm count because it contains the dye Yellow No. 5. Wow, this is an oldie. So, first of all, Yellow No. 5 doesn’t actually lower sperm count. But even if it did, lowering does not equal eliminating. Use condoms and don’t rely on random chemicals from soda to keep you babyless.

If I start taking birth control pills today, I can safely have sex tomorrow. Wrong. It takes a month for that sh*t to kick in. Listen to your doctor and don’t be stupid.

Semen has a low carb count. Nice try, guys. It’s actually mostly fructose and therefore quite high carb, fyi.

Well, there you go. Was it as good for you as it was for me?

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

In news that probably surprises none of us, a new study revealed that Virginity Pledges are to premarital sex as the pull-out method is to birth control. Meaning: they are 100% ineffective.

In fact, not only do the kids who make those pledges go on to have premarital sex, but they also do it without any form of birth control. (See: Bristol Palin.) Because these kids are brought up in homes that teach abstinence only, when the kids do decide to give in to their urges they do so without any clue about birth control or safe sex.

This is awesome news for the Federal Budget, as we can now cut out the hundreds of billions of dollars spent every year on abstinence programs that aren’t workin’ anyway and rededicate that money where it is needed.

This is also great news to women everywhere (like me) who want to get their claws into The Jonas Brothers.

[Read part one HERE]

Finally, I left the store with no pregnancy test and no lack of huffing and stomping. As I drove to the next grocery store, I started to think about what I would do when the test told me I was pregnant.

I had all but assumed that I was, at that point. I had talked about it with my boyfriend, who was enormously supportive, as we tried to figure out how I could be pregnant. We were almost always safe when we had full on sex, but not quite as safe during foreplay. And there was that time we played the pull out game.

I honestly had never really thought about this situation before, because in the almost three years that we had been having sex and playing that game occasionally, nothing like this had ever happened, not even close.

I stood in line at the next grocery store, sandwiched between two harried looking mothers and their brood, and cursed myself for being so stupid. I should have gotten on the pill even though it was expensive and made me fat, I should have used spermicide even though it grosses me out, I should have made my boyfriend wear a condom at all times, even when I was just thinking about sex.

Eventually, I bought the damn pregnancy test. I read the instructions and, in my haste to be done with the damn thing, made the mistake of not peeing on it long enough. I sat on the toilet, staring in fury at the now useless pregnancy test that had taken so much guts and time and money to acquire and threw it across the room. I was mad at the thing, yes, but mostly, I was so mad at myself, that I wanted to cry.

I’ve always been the responsible friend, the knowledgeable friend, the friend that went with my other friends to hold their hands when they got tested or the morning after pill, or even an abortion. Mostly, I was the friend that had preached about safe sex until I was blue in the face and once I had found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and we both got tested, being so strict about it had become less of a priority.

I was too lazy, too wrapped up in everything else going on in my life and too damn sure that nothing so horrible could ever happen to me. To others, yes, but never to me.

I made an appointment with a doctor for a real pregnancy test and another to get a pap and a prescription for the pill if I wasn’t pregnant. And almost immediately afterwards, as if I was in some sort of movie, I felt a twinge of dull pain start in my lower abdomen.

With a hope like almost nothing I’ve felt before, I rushed to the bathroom and checked. I had started my period. I had never been so happy to see the godd*mn thing in my entire life.

I was relieved when it finally came, but I was still disappointed in myself. I had gotten comfortable in my relationship, too comfortable, and barely escaped having to take real responsibility for my utter and complete stupidity. I can see the lesson, alright, I just really, really, hope that I’ve learned it.