So the damn groundhog saw his damn shadow, which means we are in for 6 more glorious weeks of winter. Splendid. WTF, Phil? Why do you hate us so much.

Upon hearing the news we wanted to head to Phil’s hometown and beat the crap out of him (so. sick. of sweaters.), but our therapist (Oprah) always talks about focusing on positive things. So we will.

Instead of hating on Phil – because, afterall, it’s not his fault – we thought we’d make a list of the 5 things and people we currently hate more than Punxatawny Phil. Yay us! We’re so positive!

1. Our alarm clocks – They mean well, but 9am? Really? Don’t you know we were up late watching a hilarious episode of The Office?

2. Comcast – Granted that quick peepee flash to Arizona fans during the Superbowl was disturbingly hysterical, but there were kids watching. And old people. And who does that with their….well, just watch.

3. Mexican food – But only because it was so good last night and so, so, SO bad today.

4. The media calling Jessica Simpson fat - If she’s fat then we’re going on The Biggest Loser.

5. The movie Groundhog Day. It is just bad.

Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was vowing to head back to the gym and stop eating crap? Oh yeah; that was yesterday. Not gonna happen with the Super Bowl coming, unless I stick to some healthier snack options. But we all know that’s not gonna happen.

The last week of January has been quite eventful. And stressful. Too bad we didn’t have any peanut butter to get us through the hard times. On the bright side, we did get a fun snow day to break up the monotony, and we came across this gem to help us out when we can’t get our asses to class.

But besides that – stress, stress, stress.

That trip to the gyno scared the crap out of us, that story about how poorly the university treats its students frustrated us, and everyone ripping on Jessica Simpson made our blood boil.

And don’t even get us started on our latest fears of the birth control pill. Not that we need to worry about that; we scared all the boys away a long time ago.

It’s all good, though; we have the puppy bowl to look forward to this weekend, and if that’s not enough to get us out of our funk, we can always watch Grey’s Anatomy season 1 on DVD. You know, before the show got so, so bad.

And none of these things have anything to do with nacho cheese or buffalo wing sauce. My fate is sealed, but I hope someone out there gets to enjoy them.

1. It’s baaaaaaack! PUPPY BOWL V. Five years ago, a tradition was born. An adorable, adorable tradition. The stars, as you may have guessed, are not Steelers, not Cardinals; just puppies. These puppies romp on a faux football field, not so much in teams but as an every-puppy-for-himself sort of gameplay. Puppies of all breeds and sizes tussle, tug at toys, and are penalized for bad behavior by referees in full black and white uniform. And the half-time show? Kitties. Not even kidding. It’s been growing in popularity every year, but after the raging public love for the Shiba Inu puppy cam, I can’t imagine it’s going to be anything but a smashing success.

2. Take advantage of the ubiquitous jam-packed parties – by being elsewhere. Shopping with room to breathe sounds nice. Rumor has it that Circuit City is going out of business and Superbowl Sunday is probably the ONE day where electronics-crazed men will be fully occupied elsewhere. Missed a movie in Oscar contention? Get thee to an uncrowded movie theater, and relax in warm, comfortable quiet.

3. On the most testosterone charged day of the year, go girly. Since the men in your life get to spend the day painting their faces, bond with some similarly disinterested girlfriends over the time tested Sunday brunch/mani-pedi combo. Enjoy a mimosa, catch up with your nearest and dearest, and soak in that glorious Sunday feeling, while soaking your February chilled feet in that amazing spa-pedicure tub.

4. Make a difference! Souperbowl of Caring is a movement dedicated to mobilizing youth to fight hunger and poverty in their local communities. They have simple forms and materials to arrange your own Souperbowl of Caring event, to help collect food and money on Superbowl weekend, and 100% of the proceeds are dedicated to a charity of your choosing. It’s a chance for you to make a difference, and occupy yourself when your friends are all screaming at the TV. It’s a win-win!

Even though hardcore fans have a hard time believing it, the Superbowl isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. If you’re hunting for ways to get out of your house while the scent of Coors Light lingers in the air, I hope these help. And don’t worry, you can always watch the commercials and half-time show later. Thanks, YouTube!