After undergoing a week long sex-education unit in my seventh grade health class, my creepy health teacher passed out two promise cards for us girls to sign, which stated that we promised to remain abstinent until marriage. While we were told to sign one for ourselves to keep in our purse, we were also expected to leave our John Hancock on one of the cards to turn in as an assignment – no questions asked. As my classmates complacently signed their names on the dotted lines, I remember thinking how ridiculous this task seemed – why was my stance on virginity anyone’s business? If only my feminist hero, Jessica Valenti was around then!

Feminist blogger (Feministing) and author of Full Frontal Feminism and He’s A Stud, She’s A Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Women Should Know, Jessica Valenti’s latest book The Purity Myth tackles the issue of “how America’s obsession with virginity is hurting young women.”

And it truly is.

Let’s get real. Regardless if you believe in saving sex for marriage or not, it is very alarming in a disparaging way to see girls only being granted value or worth for staying sexually pure instead of for their character. Why should sexuality (in the sense of remaining abstinent) be highly coveted over a teen girl’s qualities or accomplishments that make her unique? In a society that continues to worship abstinence (with virginity programs across the nation and federally funded purity balls), Valenti points out that while virginity is acceptable, having sex is also okay because at the end of the day, a young woman’s choice should not decide her existence as being morally up to standard or not.

From the get-go in The Purity Myth, Valenti confronts the definition of “virginity” and how for such an abstract idea, the concept controls and impacts girl culture today immeasurably: “The Purity Myth is for women who are suffering every day because of the lie that virginity exists, and that is has some bearing on who we are and how good we are.” Read More »

This is not a new story, but CNN recently did a report on it and I feel the need to once again air my consternation over Purity Balls. Never heard of a Purity Ball? Well, it’s when fathers and daughters dress up and dance together and pledge to a giant cross that they will forever be linked when it comes to the daughters’ virginity.

If it sounds just a little creepy, that’s because it is. There’s nothing wrong with fathers taking an active role in their daughters lives, and I don’t even see anything wrong with fathers talking frankly to their daughters about sex and the consequences — but there’s just something inherently weird about a daughter pledging to her father that she will remain a virgin until marriage for him. Read More »

Not since Joe Simpson said of Jessica’s rack, “She’s got double-D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!” have I been so creeped out by a father-daughter relationship.

According to this Yahoo article, Purity Balls are on the rise.

What’s a Purity Ball, you ask? Oh, y’know, it’s just like a Sweet Sixteen or a Bat Mitzvah, except that instead of celebrating a girl’s coming-of-age, it is the celebration of a girl’s sexual repression as enforced by her father and The Christian Right.

And instead of getting a digital camera or a car, she gets a Chastity Ring! Good times!

The purpose of said Purity Ball is for father and daughter to exchange the following vows:

Dad: Pumpkin, I’ll protect your chastity and live an unblemished life.

Daughter: Daddy, I won’t have sex until I’m passed on to my next owner husband.

Seriously… is there anything more spine-chilling than a 10 year old girl, dolled up in white, looking her father in the eye and vowing not to have sex until she’s married? Or, worse, a father in a tuxedo, peering down upon his pre-pubescent daughter and promising to not jerk it to online pornography? Ew, ew, ewww! Read More »