Too often, the advice is being given but no one is hanging around to do the instructing. Painting your face (and yes, I will stoop to this level) so that it looks natural is actually quite an artistic gift that one needs to work long and hard at honing.

It requires actually understanding the difference between your real lip color and candy apple red. It requires putting your purple eye shadow in detention until that glamorous-hipster-weekend party rolls along. (Or not so glamorous groupie rock show…either or). But if you can bear to face your day without these neon signs that scream “She might be UGLY under all of this!“, you’ll succeed in not only looking hotter than you actually do when you wake up, but also in fooling a whole lot of people that you’re ridiculously naturally gorgeous.

So here are some tips I’ve got for you. I do not bring them to you in vain. These tips have collected themselves in the beauty corner of my brain only after numerous glitter spills and eyeliner smears.

1. Mascara. You’ll need it. But lets keep it real, shall we? Your eyelashes aren’t blue. G et a color that makes sense for your natural complexion. If you’re one of those born blonde babes, try a light brown.

2. Concealer. Sometimes you simply have some stuff you wanna…ugh….CONCEAL. Dark circles. Pimples. Yeah, they’re the “real you”, but who needs to know? Try dabbing the makeup around the area you’re covering instead of wiping it in. Making sure you cover the area under your eyes can really lift them and make you seem way more awake than you probably are.

3. Lipstick. Yes, you’re allowed to wear it. And you’re even allowed to wear gloss. But wear a natural color. Put your purples and blacks away for 80′s night at the bar.

4. Blush. No, you don’t want to look like a clown…however, a little bit of blush can add to this whole natural look quite a lot. A good way to make the whole look flow? Instead of actually using blush, use the very natural lipstick color that I trust you pick, and smear it into your cheek bones. This way, your colors will match.

5. Powder. Shine is natural, but who cares, powder yourself, babe!

At this point; you’re good. You’ve actually enhanced the beautiful features you already have instead of steering your face down the Amy Winehouse lane of gnarly. You’ve graduated with a degree in deceptive face painting that is somehow honest at the same time.

Congratulations.