Senior year in high school I was on a champion volleyball team, had a cute boyfriend, surrounded myself with fabulous friends, but did absolutely zero homework (Senioritis proved to be a seriously dangerous disease).

Freshman year in college I had decent grades, tons of extra-currics, loads of buddies, but didn’t go on a single date.

This year I worked for the newspaper, had a few flings, but also had a GPA that took a bit of a plunge.

All of this got me thinking: can you really “have it all”? Our generation has been taught over and over again that we can do anything and everything we want as long as we try, but is that really true? Is it possible to balance stellar grades, awesome friends, your fave hobbies, a significant other, and a healthy bod with only 24 hours in a day? (By the way, this is just my idea of “it all.” Yours may vary greatly.)

After 20 years of trying and constantly feeling like I’m failing in some capacity, I have officially given up. It may sound cynical, but I’ve decided it’s simply impossible to have it all. At least at the same time…and to a fulfilling degree. When I try to add something in – like a new love interest – something else always gets pushed to the back burner, leaving me defending myself against my friends or fighting to keep my head above water in my classes.

There is just never enough time.

So instead of constantly being unsatisfied and obsessing about how that one (or many) thing(s) in my life is missing, I’ve trying to focus on what I do have at the moment. Quality, not quantity—right?!?

Because the thing is, even when I think I finally “have it all,” I always manage to find something else that’s missing, and the circle of dissatisfaction (called life) continues. (Remember when you said that after you got into college, you would be happy forever, your life would be fulfilled, and you would never complain again? And then remember the week after you got accepted when you were whining about not receiving the housing information fast enough? Yea. I thought so.)

I’ve tried many tactics to keep myself satisfied. I’ve tried to stop comparing myself to others. Ha. That one never came to fruition. I’ve worked on prioritizing instead of making everything happen at once: is getting an A in economics this semester more important, or making fabulous and unforgettable memories with friends? (The memories obviously prevailed.) I’ve even made lists of what I thought would make me happy, crossing off my hopes and dreams as I accomplished them (I knew my OCD would come in handy at some point!). But still, I have never been able to fit everything on my plate, or to learn how to be satisfied with only filling it half up.

So, my question is, have you? If your answer is yes, please enlighten me on how you’ve accomplished this inconceivable feat. If no, thank god I’m not alone!

Ever since I was given a fistful of dollars and a ride to the mall to buy my own school clothes, I was a thrifty shopper. I liked the new stuff too, but once I discovered that, by looking in the right places, I could find better quality things for WAY less money, I was hooked, and thrift stores became my new shopping mall. Now, when I say thrift store, I don’t necessarily mean Goodwill or Salvation Army, though I have been known to find some killer stuff there too. (I happen to live in New York, and I’ve gotta say, people get rid of some top quality clothing.)

A step above that are second-hand stores like Buffalo Exchange and Beacon’s Closet; really excellent spots for finding top notch clothing at a fraction of its boutique price. The great thing about these places is that they have very high standards of quality, so you’re not going to find anything with rips, stains, holes, or anything else like that. The key is being able to separate the wheat from the chaff. Just because something has a designer label stitched into it, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the genuine article. Here is what to look for in your quest for honest to god designer clothing.

The biggest indicator of designer work is quality of material. It seems simple, but it’s an oft-overlooked factor in the clothes hunt. A rule of thumb: if it feels cheap, it probably is cheap. If it seems thin, rough or coarse, that’s a big red flag. Designers use really lovely fabrics in all their work, so anything else is likely a fake. Pattern can also be helpful in catching counterfeits. If the fabric has a pattern on it, the pattern will line up at the seams, making one, uniform print all the way around. If you see a flower cut in half on a seam or something, I would think twice about buying it.

Stitching is a dead giveaway in knock-offs, especially in jeans. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE fancy jeans. I really do. But I can’t spend upwards of $150 on a pair, so I have found all my most beloved denim in second hand stores. Fakes are not even worth the price of the boxes they are shipped in, in my opinion. In true designer wear, all the stitching will be tight, even and uniform. Turn the garment inside out and check the stitching there as well, where counterfeiters are less careful. Sloppy stitching will often overlap on itself, go crooked from time to time, or be unevenly spaced. I call fake!!

Look at detail work. Buttonholes are a good indicator of quality. If the stitching in a buttonhole is sloppy, and has strings sticking out, that ain’t designer. Same goes for hooks and eyes, snaps, anything like that. Designer work is often hand-finished, so everything will be clean and tight, just like the stitching.

Trying the garment on is important, because fit is crucial to all designers. If a seam twists anywhere, or there is any unusual puckering, chances are the garment was poorly made in a counterfeit factory somewhere. It’s possible that it was a designer factory reject, in which case you should check out some of the other factors, but generally speaking, designers do not let rejects into circulation. They have reputations to keep up, after all!

Tags do not a designer garment make. Come on, if you could sew in a Marc Jacobs tag, so could anybody else. If you have particular designers that you like, read up on them, so you know what their hallmarks are. MJ, for example, loves his hardware, so all buckles and buttons, etc., have a logo stamped into them. On his things, a plain button means a fake garment, pure and simple. Find out what your fave designers go for, and you’ll have some really helpful hints when you go hunting for them.

Believe me, I’ve accidentally bought enough baaaaaad knock-offs over the years to have learned my lesson well, but I’ve also cultivated a pretty awesome wardrobe at the same time. Come on, who doesn’t want Citizens of Humanity and Diane von Furstenberg draped on them all the time? If you’ve got the patience to sort through second-hand racks, it is SO worth the time and energy spent. So learn from my mistakes, and get shopping! It’s a recession out there people, and if there was ever a way to score some great stuff AND stimulate the economy, this is it!!

A new study, the results of which appear in the October issue of the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, suggests that Facebook profiles can mirror the narcissism of their owners.

Besides being synonymous with being “egotistical,” “self-centered,” and “self-absorbed,” narcissism affects the ability of a person to form healthy, long-term relationships. According to W. Keith Campbell, a professor at the University of Georgia who co-authored the study in question, “Narcissists are using Facebook the same way they use their other relationships – for self promotion with an emphasis on quantity of over quality.”

You know those people that add you as a friend after a 30-second convo, or because you know one of their friends (or their friend’s friends?) The ones who have 10,562 friends…in their main network alone? These Facebookers also have a variety of photo albums on their page– most of which are full of self-portraits and glamour shots taken in the mirror. These are the FB users who most clearly exhibit signs of narcissism.

The growth spurts of social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace have grabbed the attention of behaviorists who want to explore how personality traits are expressed online. “We’ve undergone a social change in the last four or five years and now almost every student manages their relationships through Facebook – something that few older people do,” asserts Campbell. “It’s a completely new social world that we’re just beginning to understand.”

I wonder what else we can learn from peoples’ Facebook quirks. For example: what do we learn from the girl who changes her status every five seconds, so you always know EXACTLY where she is and what she’s doing? How about the guy you haven’t talked to in months, yet still comments on all of your new FB photos, your status, even what other people are writing on your wall?

What would you like to learn from Facebook? Do you agree with this study?

Ah, cheap yet stylish clothes. Does it really get any better than that? Where else besides Forever 21 or H&M can you snag a $5 top on clearance, or track down a pair of really sweet wide-leg pants for less than $30?I suppose Target or Marshall’s might fall into a similar category, but I’ve always considered their clothes to be on a different level. Target is known for stocking basics over trends, and Marshall’s is known for stocking trends… from two or three seasons ago, so we’ll just leave them out of this discussion.

I have this theory: you’re either a Forever 21 person or an H&M person. You are what you are, and you can never switch over—it’s sacrilegious. If you shop at both, let’s face it: your loyalty lies with one, and you’re just cheating on it with the other. Shame on you.

I happen to be an H&M kinda girl. There – I said it. H&M is and always will be better. Is there really a competition? Not even a little bit.

Point I: Quality

Forever 21 may be cheap, but you’re only kidding yourself if you really think you’re going to wear anything you buy there for more than a year or two.

H&M’s clothes, though still admittedly not the best quality, are sturdier. I have things in my closet I bought years ago at H&M that are still holding up fine—no holes, no tears, no anything. They’re still just as brand new and shiny as they were on the day I bought them.

Point II: Trashy Factor

Forever 21 is great if you want to be a beach bunny or look like you’re fifteen years old. Hey, there’s a market for that kind of thing, so I’m not slamming it, but if you want to look chic…

…then H&M is your place. They sell casual stuff, but I’ve actually bought a lot of work clothes at H&M. They’re classy, and they’re stylish, too—but not so ultra-stylish that I won’t be able to wear them in six months when the newest trend sweeps the nation.

Point III: Style Variety

Forever 21 certainly has a lot of variety, yes, but it’s a variety of crap. You know how you sometimes spot a clearance sale that seems too good to be true, only to examine the racks and note that it’s just true because no one could possibly want anything they’re selling? Yeah, that’s Forever 21 in a nutshell.

H&M has true variety for people of all different styles. As I noted above, if I want to dress classy, I can find something there. If I want to go clubbing, I can find something there. And if I want to be moody and wear only black things with skulls on them, I can still find something there.

Case closed. I fully expect to get skewered on this one, so unleash the comments.