In my early teen years I’d hang out at the skatepark and take trips out of town with as many people as we could pack in a van to watch bands play; later, at the end of my high school career, weeknights were spent driving around, listening to jams and making pointless stops at WalMart, and weekends were spent partaking in outlandish late-night drinking shenanigans accompanied by board games.

Then I went to college. And while some of my best friends did attend the same school as me, and while I did meet a handful of fantastic new people, for the most part, I was pretty miserable. I went from a small town where I had known everyone for 5+ years to a giant school filled with rich kids from suburbia who wouldn’t know real fun if it kicked them in the teeth.

As I had thought since age 11 that this was where I wanted to go to college, for two years I gave it a go and tried my best to enjoy myself. And I did, to some degree: there were definitely some experiences at college that I wouldn’t trade for anything. But every time I went home, the fun I had at college paled in comparison. These were my people. This was where I belonged. And yet, I couldn’t stay in my hometown, what would I do with myself? Get married, get a job at the bank, and pump out some kids? That was not an option.

So eventually, I ran away, from both college and home, and went to New Zealand. And there, for a brief period of time, I kind of found My Home, Part 2. I was living in the staff quarters at a four star lodge in a national park, spending my off hours lounging on the beach or running in the woods or bonding with my incredibly chill, awesomely hard-partying international coworkers. For about a month, life was totally zen. Then, the winds of change started blowing again and I was off to other parts of the country, and then back, again, to my hometown.

That summer was like every other summer of my life – filled with campfires and swimming and boating and hiking and concerts and late night talks under the stars. But somehow, underneath it all was the sense that I was getting older, that we all were, and we couldn’t keep doing the same shit we had been doing since we were thirteen. Things had to change.

In the fall, I packed up my crap again and headed east, this time to New York, where I still am now. For the past seven months, I’ve looked for jobs, gotten jobs, quit jobs, gone to bars, gone to restaurants, gone to museums, met new people, had friends visit, stayed in, gone out, done all the things you do when you’re a young adult living in the greatest city in the world. And yet the only thing I can think is, is this all there is?

Is this it? Do we get older only to abandon the pure joy of living and become mindless drones who go to work and make money only to spend it on “going out” and “cultural experiences” and “long-term investments?” I like to think that I’m the kind of person who thinks outside of the box and seeks adventure; I mean, hell, I quit school and went to New Zealand and then moved out to New York City, right? But I can’t help but feel like I have reached the pinnacle of life that you aspire to reach when you’re a kid, that point in adulthood when you’re old enough to live on your own in a fabulous place but young enough to do whatever you want without a whole lot of responsibilities to worry about, and yet, I’ve never felt so…blah.

When I was younger, everything was awesome. Life was intensely interesting and every day was an adventure. The simplest activities were fun and exciting and my friends and I were always thinking of new and amazing sh*t to do. There was this sense that everything we were doing was the exact right thing to be doing at that moment, and everything in the universe was perfect.

And my friends! My friends from home, to this day, continue to be the most hilarious, fantastic people I have ever met. Which isn’t to say I haven’t met some great new people with excellent things to offer, because I have. But never have I met people quite as hilarious and insightful and genuine as people in my hometown.

So what to do? How do I handle this? Should I just buck up, count my blessings, and press on? If I tell myself that things are as shiny as I thought they would be when I was thirteen, will they be? Will things improve, or is this a permanent leveling off of my life that I’ll come to accept? Is this just what growing up is?

I know I sound like a spoiled brat, whining about a life I’m lucky to have. I guess I pretty much am a spoiled brat, whining about a life I’m lucky to have. But I suppose I’m writing this because I feel like I can’t be the only one going through what amounts to a quarterlife crisis, but feels like the terminal loss of true joy in my life. There have to be other people out there who have made it this far only to feel ultimately disillusioned with what life has to offer. Right?

Right?

I’m in a constant state of post-graduation crisis, and I’m still a year away from graduating.

Honestly, I’ve been freaked out about the prospect of going out into the real world ever since I graduated from high school. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, where I want to live, or how I am going to make as much money as my ideal lifestyle requires. It’s a horrible state of suspended animation, college, but here are some books I’ve read that have calmed me down a little and turned some of that fear into excitement about all my future post-collegiate adventures.

1. I’m an English Major–Now What?

I saw this book and absolutely had to have it because I was an English major in my undergrad and I could relate to the title’s implied panic. It’s actually a useful book for anyone in the liberal arts and offers advice on how to break into magazines, newspapers, publishing, and, of course, the ol English major standby, teaching. This book also has a nice section on whether or not to go on to grad school that I found very useful in the beginning of my grad school process.

2. How to Survive the Real World

I love this book because it’s made up of advice from hundreds of people (naturally, as it is a part of the awesome ‘hundreds of heads’ series) who understand the difficulty inherent in graduating from college and striking out on your own, because they‘ve all done it to various degrees of success. There is advice on everything from how to find a job, to paying bills, to staying healthy, to cooking and other basic survival skills, to forming lasting relationships. My copy of this book is probably more highlighted and dog-eared than just about any other book in my library

3. Suze Orman’s The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke

It’s not necessarily written for college students or recent college grads, Suze Orman’s book is still prodigiously helpful if you’re like me and your financial knowledge is dismal. This book taught me what a mutual fund was (no, I didn’t know!), hammered into my head the importance of a Roth IRA (and told me the smartest ways to invest in one), and the smart way to make a big purchase like a car or a house. Most importantly, it gave me some great advice on how to most efficiently pay down my credit card debt.

4. The Quarterlifer’s Companion

Marketed less as a post-collegiate guide and more as a book to help you get through your 20’s, this book helps you manage your time, find a job (sensing a pattern?), find a house, etc…the same basic thing that you will find in the previous books. What I like about this book is that is covers a lot and doesn’t skimp on the details. Instead of just telling you how to get a job, it gives you advice on how to not get burned out by said job, how to negotiate a raise, how to deal with a crappy boss…you get the picture.

Have you read any good books about navigating the rough seas of the so-called “real world”? Let us know!

It was a given that I would be around New York City because that is the place to go for my future career. Not to mention the fact that I absolutely love the place and had the time of my life interning over the course of two different summers. Lucky for me, a good amount of people from my school also head down there to start “real” lives.

My experience was similar to a new trend that has really started with our generation. That new fad being putting priority on WHERE you will be living, instead of WHAT you will be doing. Recent grads tend to decide what city they want to live in, and then the job comes secondary.

The job tends to be something figured out once you have moved to the chosen location, as was my experience, which made for many stressful unemployed days filled with cupcakes and wondering just how I was going to get by. Eventually things worked out and I can officially say I am employed in my chosen field and have my own apartment.

But, this ballsiness (is that even a word?) is something that our parents are not used to. Long gone are the days of sending out resumes to every viable city or town in America and seeing where you get a bite. We refuse to live in a horrible town just to have a job, which I think is a great philosophy.

The New York Times had a recent article commenting on this trend of placing quality of life above purely being employed;

“Sixty-five percent of 1,000 respondents aged 24 to 35 who were asked by the Segmentation Company, a division of the marketing consultant Yankelovich, said they preferred to look for a job in the place that I would like to live, rather than look for the best job I can find, the place where it is located is secondary.”

I personally think this is a great thing because now cities are trying to become more attractive to young adults and college graduates. “Urban leaders are increasingly courting young workers, because as baby boomers retire, Gen Y will have to fill the gap. Across the country, cities are scrambling to become the place that recent grads want to be.”

My hope is that what will eventually happen, if this keeps up, is cities will continue to improve and graduates will literally have their pick of amazing places to live. Instead of us fighting to get a place anywhere we can, they will be courting us. A role reversal of sorts, and I think it’s fabulous.

So, current college students, you can start doing your research now into what places or cities seem attractive to you. By the time you graduate, it just may be the new hot spot.

One problem that I would rather not encounter is seeking into depression, or what some may call the quarterlife crisis. And after doing extensive research on this topic for a previous blog called My Impending Quarterlife Crisis, I am realizing that it’s only a matter of time until I sink fully into the blues.

Therefore, I am attempting to be proactive and launching a pre-emptive strike on becoming depressed. Who’s with me?

My first tactic: reincorporate exracurriculars into my adult life. No, I don’t think that “joining a club” is the key to social issues such as obesity and body image as Leah rightfully points out. But, I was the QUEEN of being busy and involved in everything throughout high school and college. Why should the rest of my life be any different? Because of my activities, I met so many interesting people, learned all kinds of new things, and kept myself from boredom.

Here are some of the options that I am exploring now that I am no longer on a college campus:

1. Intramural Sports: Big cities tend to have adult pick-up leagues. For example, in NYC, Chelsea Piers offers all kinds of options for those no longer eligible for little league to get in on some sports action. And plus, sports leagues are a great way to meet some eligible bachelors…wink wink.

2. Childhood hobbies: Okay, let me explain, I’m not suggesting you start playing with Barbies or Legos again. But, when I was younger I used to make jewelry. Given, I don’t think there is as much of a market for friendship bracelets as there was when I was ten. Regardless, I’m just saying that there are a number of creative hobbies that can be transferred into adulthood. I stopped by a bead and jewelry store the other day while strolling through the Fashion District and realized I still had those creative juices flowing for elegant or funky jewelry pieces. Why not spend some time seeing what I can create? Also, I’ve always been interested in learning to knit or create pottery. Look into local classes wherever you are to divulge your artistic side now that you have no paper or midterm exam deadlines weighting you down.

3. Book Clubs: I know, what are we, like 40? Seriously, I just found a book club in my area that reads a book related to the career I am hoping to get into…and then meets to discuss it…over BEER! Sounds like a pretty great deal to me. If there is not one available, then think of starting your own. I am sure there are at least a few recent grads near you that would love an excuse to get together and dish over booze.

4. Church/Spiritual Groups: Okay, I’m definitely not suggesting joining a crazy religious cult type thing, but I do think that it can be refreshing to keep our mental or spiritual sides healthy and in check during this crazy time. Get involved with a group in whatever religion or denomination you might believe in. I feel that it’s always a safe bet to at least meet some nice (hopefully) people. Totally not into the religion thing? Try some yoga or meditation classes at least where you are able to relax.

Those are just some of the options I am looking into. My feeling is that if I can have at least one or two of these activities/events in my weekly schedule, it will keep me busy and help avoid the quarterlife crisis boredom, as well as enable me to meet some new people along the way. Anyone have any other great suggestions?

Apparently, I will have a life crisis sooner than I previously thought: the “Quarterlife Crisis.”

It’s a relatively recent phenomenon that is now recognized by many therapists and professionals in the mental health field, and refers to the years out of college when reality sets in. Technically, it is “a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood.”

Awesome, can’t wait. Basically, young, twentysomethings realize that their entry level jobs suck and that a successful career isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Ahhh, please don’t make me graduate on Sunday! I don’t want to deal with life, especially this new crisis that I will apparently go through.

Thanks to Lauren, we all know that life sucks after college, and I can’t say that I am looking forward to having a “real life.” And on top of that, I must prepare myself for the onset of a quarterlife crisis.

What happened to the good old days when I was so excited to graduate because the possibilities were endless? The world was my oyster, as they say. Now, I would rather crawl into an oyster shell and hibernate for the next ten years.

If anyone else is as worried as me about the future, you should check out this website: Quarterlifecrisis.com. It describes itself as “a one-stop info shop for recent grads and beyond,” which is exactly the kind of comfort I need right now.

Facing a quarterlife crisis is a very scary thing, and it has made me realize just how thankful I am for the short time I have left to embrace college life. So, for the next couple nights, you can find me at the bar attempting to delay the real world for just one more weekend.