Online dating services want to know. When you fill out a profile, they’ll often ask you questions about what kind of people you prefer to date, including questions regarding ethnicity. They seem innocent enough…but are they?

I had a really thought-provoking conversation about it with a friend the other day. “I was sitting behind somebody who was filling out an online dating application,” she said, “and they put down that they preferred not to date Asian people.”

“Yeah?” I said.

“I couldn’t believe it!” she went on. “I thought that was the most racist thing I had ever seen!”

And I couldn’t believe she thought that. “You’re kidding, right?” I said. “People are allowed to have preferences about the looks of the people they date. It’s not racist.”

I can’t remember what the results of our discussion were, but I do remember how intrigued I was by the thought that ethnicity-related preference questions were such a hot topic. She really got me thinking. Were the questions themselves racist? Was somebody who didn’t want to date people in a specific ethnic group really racist?

Here’s what I think. If you like tall guys, you can mark down on your profile that you like tall guys. Some online dating services even let you specify the exact height of the guy you want to date. OK. So if you can specify height…why not race? If you don’t want to date a short person, why can’t you say that you don’t want to date a white person?

If you don’t want to date white people, all that’s saying is that you generally don’t find white people attractive. It’s not saying that you think there’s anything wrong with them, and it’s not saying that you have anything against them. And I’m sure many people would own up to the fact that there are exceptions to every rule.

Even if tall guys float your boat, you might acknowledge that you could fall madly in love with a short person. And even if you don’t think most Asian guys are hot, there just might be one for you out there.

So, is it racist to have ethnic dating preferences? I don’t think so. Some people like chocolate, hate vanilla, and feel mixed about mint chip. It’s all a matter of taste.

CC readers, what do YOU think?