Lesson #33: Quirky girls finish last.

There are certain girls who can make guys swoon with nothing more than look, a switch of the hips and maybe a cleverly timed wink. I will never be one of those girls. Unfortunately, I trip over things, lots of things, and on any given hectic morning, I’m likely to leave the house with mascara smeared on my nose. Maybe I’m not charming or adorable and I assure you that no one will ever refer to me as “the sweetest little thing they ever did lay eyes on,” but I have to admit, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Maybe I’m just too lazy to be that positive all the time or maybe my pessimism is practically inherent, but just because I’m not a “nice girl,” doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart of gold. And so maybe I’ve gotten into a tussle with one too many vending machines for stealing my dollar but it’s not like I’m kicking kittens. We can’t all be “the girl next door,” but niceness doesn’t have to be measured by how much you smile and politely laugh at jokes you don’t actually find funny.

It’s safe to say “prim and proper” will never be my thing. You’re more likely to catch me with a Jack and Coke than the standard girl favorite, a Cranberry Vodka, or rolling my eyes instead of batting my lashes, and in turn, you’re also more likely to catch me alone rather than draped over a man but that doesn’t mean that quirky girls don’t finish last.

Sure, the girls who claim to love babies, Lily Pulitzer, and daisies are usually the first to be adored by guys everywhere, but I know from experience that quirky (and clumsy) girls finish last too. Because eventually the nice girls, who might as well be dressed in pink ruffles, get boring and if there’s anything a guy doesn’t want, it’s something boring, predictable and monotonous.

You can go out of your way to walk on eggshells around the guy you like, careful not to offend him or come off as too aggressive or over the top but you run the risk of boring him, and most importantly, yourself. It’s too much work not to be yourself and you’ll kick yourself (and maybe a few vending machines) if you lose him because you pretended to be something you’re not. Yes, this means you’ll probably end up saying things you regret and that you’ll at some point probably have to tend to some damage control, but if you’re anything like me, it’s nothing you haven’t dealt with before. As a veteran when it comes to putting your foot in your mouth, I can assure you, it’s always possible to bounce back.

Guys say they want a “nice girl” until they realize they cant have a relationship with a wide-eyed precious little thing that always says “yes”. After all, nobody wants to date a Golden Retriever. Sure, guys dream of coming home to a gourmet meal and an impeccably dolled up girlfriend, but at some point it’s bound to get old. Just because the Stepford wife smiles, doesn’t mean she’s happy.

I don’t coo at strangers’ babies or stop to smell roses or wear pink but that doesn’t mean I’m not a nice person. As long as you’re not intentionally mean or rude, even if you’re not the girl next door, you can still be yourself and be in a relationship. If there’s anything that women like Elizabeth Bennett, Carrie Bradshaw, and Ally McBeal have taught us, it’s that well-behaved women rarely make history…or get laid. So go ahead, make a fool of yourself, roll your eyes at the girls lined up waiting to wait hand-and-foot on a guy and watch him make his way over to you instead, because, gasp, you actually aren’t afraid to have a personality.

Got it? Feel empowered? Good. Now get the first 32rules of the Single Girl Society

If you don’t know who Zooey Deschanel is, please kindly let me remove the rock that you’ve been living under to do a little educating.  This girl acts in movies.  This girl sings in her band, She & Him.  This girl sings in her movies she acts in.  Besides all that, this girl made it cool to dress like you went back in time reincarnated as your stylish mom growing up in the ’60s.  And she’s got girls (and guys) mildly obsessed.

There are so many ways different people describe Zooey’s style; they call it “quirky,” “indie,” or “very Zooey.” I think all of those are true, but I think there’s more. Zooey Deschanel’s style reminds me of a shy librarian that was given a subtle makeover.  It’s dainty yet a little bit sexy, a little risky at times with hints of old school vintage. It’s a strange combination, yet she always pulls it off flawlessly.

I applaud you, Zooey Deschanel, for making quirky romantic look sexy again.  I know plenty of guys out there who would prefer a night in with Zooey’s bows and classiness over a crazy night out with Megan Fox (which gives me some faith in humanity).  I love Zooey’s style because she makes it cool to go back to the days of dressing for yourself, and not for a guy or for your friends.  So go ahead and put on that kinda cool sweater your Grandma knitted you and don’t blush.  You could make it look just as cool as Zooey does if you unapologetically enjoy it!

Product Info: Necklace, Belt, Dress, Hair bows, Shoes

I like this outfit because I know if (and when) I ever wore it, I would feel just like Zooey for a day. Now if only I could sing like her…. The blue dress is simple for a day at class or at work, paired with a nude belt to cinch in the waist and give you some curves.  You can pair it with some nude flats if you’re not one to wear heels during the day, but I prefer nude heels; they have an almost magical way of making legs look especially long and they add a nice touch of sexiness to the look. The blue and white bows add the quirky daintiness Zooey so naturally personifies, while the treble clef necklace reminds us all of her most cherished talent.

All pulled together, this outfit has Zooey written all over it: the vintage-inspired dress, the sexy shoes, the fun and funky bows. And it’s a look anyone can pull off. Seriously, try it. Have a little fun with your wardrobe, dress for you and see how good it looks and feels. We may not all be able to act or sing like Zooey, but we can definitely dress like her.  Easy enough!

Who inspires your style? Or better question, WHAT inspires your style? Many of us use movie characters (like Penny Lane

Describing Chloe Sevigny’s style in one word would be like attempting to describe color to a blind man: Impossible.

She is a wild child with a wild style. It’s vintage-meets-designer, quirky, eccentric and European chic with just the perfect hint of grunge. It doesn’t sound like it would turn out well, but somehow Chloe works it. Not to mention that smirk she’s always sportin’ that says, “What I’m wearing right now is what you’re going to be wearing next month.” Only she’s not arrogant, which I totally would be if I had her ability to wear a potato sack and have a million people be inspired by it.

Although she works as an actress by day (most notably as the second wife on HBO’s series, Big Love) her newest job and eternal interest has always been related to fashion.  It has apparently always come easy to her, considering she never actually follows trends but seems to instead set them.

To name a few of her fashion accomplishments, we can start with the fact that she is the face of the fashion house Chloe, besides collaborating with Open Ceremony.  She also seems to always choose roles that have a very quirky-cool costume attached, and is constantly on the best-dressed list at every award show she attends. It is no surprise, then, that I am totally inspired by Chloe Sevigny and her fashion prowess, and want to make her look all my own.

Product Information: Sunglasses -Bleudame, $9.80; Black socks (pack of 3) – American Apparel, $12.50; Dress – Forever 21, $21.90; Sweater – Urban Outfitters, $68; Heels – Forever 21, $27.80; Structured bag – Forever 21, $21.80; Red lipstick

This look is typical Chloe and I love it because it looks carefree and chic all at the same time. Wayfarer sunglasses add some edge to the romantic, floral, ’90s-style dress, and the baggy sweater hints at Parisian chic. The boots are unique, especially paired with socks, and wouldn’t work on most people. In fact, most people would look insane. But, somehow, they work  for Chloe and, if you rock her signature confidence, they will work for this look, too.

Got a question for Tuffita? Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her column every Tuesday! Ask it all.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Top five best quirky movies for contemporary women and why. Okay, go.

Movie Luver

Dear Movie Luver,

Cute.

Okay, I don’t know about bestbest, but here goes, in no particular order. And remember, this is Tuff’s personal opinion, so–yeah. Don’t start hating or anything.

Ghostworld

A great weird little parable of a movie (with Thora Birch, from before they glammed up Scarjo into a blow-up doll) about a girl who can’t figure out how to grow up. She doesn’t fit into the modern world, so she tries to escape into the past with an older guy (a fabulously pathetic Steve Buscemi) who is obsessed with the music of the 20s and 30s, all while avoiding her best friend, who actually is becoming an adult.

Children of Men

The movie begins when the youngest person on Earth dies. This is a sad day because people have stopped being able to procreate. Everything is chaos. And then our main character becomes aware of a pregnant woman, a miracle, who he must transport to safety in a place that may or may not exist.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Was there ever a more romantic movie about the issues of love in the modern world? This gorgeous little flick is about love and memory and where loss is important in maintaining both.

The Host

A family dramedy disguised as a monster movie, The Host introduces us to an extremely dysfunctional family who must pull together in a time of crisis. When the only innocent of the group, the young daughter of our screw-up hero, is taken by a giant monster in the water by the family store, everyone comes together to rescue her. It’s laugh-out-loud funny and, at times, devastatingly sad. Just make sure you get the subtitled version–the dubbed version is horrible.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

A musical like you’ve never seen before. Hedwig is about a German transsexual who just wants love–and a rock ‘n’ roll career. This one’s hard to explain, but it’s wonderful and touching and smart, and the music is amazing.

Anyone got any others?

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

Add one more to the line of cute-n-quirky games that are being put out to attract gamers to shelves. Like Katamari Damacy, the game play is easy, the colors bright, the plot simple: feed the princess, make her heavy so people don’t steal her. Easy! But is it too much?

Some feminists seem to think so. According to this article, feminist gamers from no less than two web sites are up in arms over this. Because she’s a girl. And she’s fat. That’s a problem for feminism. . . apparently.

Now before we proceed, I am a feminist. Ra, ra, fight against inequalities and all that. But rather then be upset about this game, I’ve found a few reasons to applaud this game. Yes, in the name of feminism.

I see Fat Princess as a new wave in gaming.

For starters, she’s in her own castle. This is no damsel in distress that’s been whisked away by some fiendish overlord waiting for some dashing knight to get off his questing butt and come save her. No, her kingdom didn’t let her get stolen. They want her to stay. They value her. Not as some after-prize for vanquishing evil, like, “Sure random adventurer, if you kill Evil Guy over there you can marry that chick he stole.” No, they don’t want you to steal their Princess. They want to keep her.

Secondly, Princess places value on things over her physical appearance. Clearly her little soldiers aren’t great in number, but you know what her kingdom does have? A forest full of cake that they’re going to use to their advantage. She’s not saying, “No I’d rather just get captured.” She says “Pass the cake, I gotta put on some pounds to save my life.”

Not to mention the fact that in ancient times before women were oppressed as the “weaker sex” they were worshiped and loved for their roundness. So, now we have this game that is simply reenacting ancient rituals that uplifted and adored women.

This is a feminist game. Laughing at it is alright because its teaching us to laugh at ourselves and our own absurd culture. There’s nothing wrong with Fat Princess. There will be cake… and I will feed it to her.

[Photo courtesy of Fat Priness game site.]

Although the company has the word “ugly” in its title, models who represent Ugly New York are not unattractive, they’re just different than what one would normally expect a model to look like. Weird physical quirks are fine as long as the person has that certain style and confidence needed to be a model.

The company represents everyday people – businessmen, computer geeks, anyone who makes you turn your head and think “Wow he/she has something special about him/her”. Ugly New York gives people who never even considered the opportunity to model a chance to strut their stuff.

After viewing the talent on their site, it’s easy to tell that the company does represent some “classic” models. However, they also have their fair share of hairy bikers, aging women and quirky 20 and 30 somethings.

Ugly NY is inspirational in that it furthers the message that a person doesn’t need to look any certain way to be considered beautiful. A lot of the models for Ugly New York are even more attractive than your average runway model. The only thing I’d like to see changed is the name of the company. While its clever, it doesn’t accurately represent its models. Just because one girl has a lot of freckles and another has droopy eyelids doesn’t mean that they’re ugly. It just means they’re unique, which is what I think the agency has set out to convey in the first place.

Either way, let’s give it up for a company who’s not completely buying into the alien-model trend that’s been plaging the industry for, like, ever.