Dudes prefer a size 10

Really? He’s still alive? I could have sworn he was long gone. …Or maybe I was just wishing.

Cheap drugs in Mexico? Not anymore

Screetch to write a Tell All. Seriously.

Straight up weird: identical everything.

The Billionaires want you to STOP SMOKING

Jason’s baaacck!

…And so is Freddy (Which means both my toolshed and my dreams are no longer safe)

Dana Scully kicks ass

50 Cent don’t play, Taco Bell!

Oh man, Zac Efron…how is this helping the gay rumors?

Well, it turns out that “real life” scents are really creating a buzz and Demeter isn’t the only one cashing in on the trend.

At Brooklyn-based CB I Hate Perfume Gallery, there are over 50 scents that are sure to smell kinda weird on your skin. But who cares about smelling good when you can smell like the following:

Pineapple and Mango: Yum! Smelling like a tropical drink on a tropical island sounds…like you’ll end up smelling like a 10 year old trying perfume for the first time. But what the hell, it’d go for it on vacation!

Lava Rock: Question: Does “Lava Rock” smell like molten magma or like burnt matches? Second question: Why would I want to smell like a natural disaster? Third: Am I normal if I say I kind of want to? It sounds exciting.

Dandelion: Ooooo, I’ve always wanted to smell annoying and ugly!

Crayon: I don’t imagine smelling like an old 64-pack (with the sharpener in the back!) is going to attract the kind of guys I’d be hoping to snag. I don’t mind ‘em young, but let’s be serious…

or, Tobacco: This is either going to distroy my attempts at quitting smoking or aid me in not wanting to pick up another cigarette again. But tobacco smells like sh*t and I’d rather pay 7 bucks and get the effects of nicotine so I’m siding with the ‘ol Marlboros. (P.S. Don’t smoke! They’re not lying when they say it’s really, really hard to quit!)

If anything, these new food-based scents entertain us long enough to forget about the mega-rich stars who are banking on us wanting to smell like them…and we all know Britney doesn’t deserve any of our hard earned cash!

So, try ‘em out and let me know if Lava Rock is as exciting as I hope it is!

• Note: Using a traffic cone as a wizard hat isn’t cute…even when you’re 3. (Daily Mail)

• The average person in the UK drinks 189 bottles of wine, 37 bottles of whiskey or 1,137 pints of beer per year…which is roughly half of what the average American going to a state school consumes. (Daily Mail)

• Top Story! Theives steal potatoes!! In the UK (of course). (thisislincolnshire.co.uk)

• Hey guys, smoking is bad for you! Now you know. Oh! And it doesn’t help you lose weight either, so just quit already! (news.com.au)

• Barack vs Hilary vs Colbert? You decide…on Facebook! (COED Magazine)

* Sure, this story is shocking, but I’m more intrigued by the fact that Japan has porn vending machines! (Mainichi Daily News)

* Learn and Earn? Seriously? Just how bad do I need to do in school to make the government want to pay me to do better? (11Alive.com)

* One NJ teacher is making his students parents do homework too. Sweet justice. (NYT)

* Doctors say smokers who are quitting should be treated in the same manner as heroin addicts. (The Independent)

* Woman finds rodent head in a can of beans and is offered $100 for it. She won’t take it. (Salt Lake Tribune)