There are few culinary pleasures to match the first crunchy, buttery bite of a fresh ear of corn off the cob.  And with each rich mouthful, you’re taking in healthy doses of folate (to ward off heart disease, colon cancer and to prevent birth defects in the fetuses of pregnant women), thiamin (for better memory), and pantothenic acid (which eases energy production under stress).  So check out these three painfully simple recipes to shake up your serving of corn, with one each to satisfy any sweet, savory, or spicy craving you have!

Sweet: Rachael Ray’s Kettle Corn

Don’t settle for the overly-processed easy-pop bags when you can make your own without a hassle!

Ingredients

1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup popcorn kernels
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon coarse salt

Instructions

1. In a large pot with a tight-fitting lid, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the popcorn.
2. When the oils sizzles, sprinkle the sugar over the kernels. Cover and shake the pan until the popping slows down, about 3 minutes.
3. Remove from the heat and toss with the salt.

Spicy: Fire-Hot Corn on the Cob

Modified from this Ezra Pound Cake recipe, this corn on the cob will pair well with a tall, icy glass of lemonade. And trust me, you’ll need it!

Ingredients

6 ears corn, husked
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8  teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Cooking spray
1/4 cup crema Mexicana (can be replaced with low-fat or regular sour cream)
6  lime wedges
Crushed red pepper, to taste

Instructions

1. Preheat grill to medium-high.

2. In a small bowl, combine chili powder, salt and pepper.

3. Place corn on a grill rack coated with cooking spray; cook 12 minutes or until corn is lightly browned, turning frequently. Place corn on a platter; drizzle with crema. Sprinkle with chili powder mixture and crushed red pepper. Spritz with lime juice.

Oven Directions: If you need to roast the corn in the oven, preheat the oven to 350 degrees F, and place the corn (in its husks) on the middle rack for about 30 minutes

Savory: Roasted Corn & Black Bean Salad

Concocted by my homeboy Mark Bittman, this salad is good enough to be a main course! I added sea salt for an extra kick.

Ingredients

2 tablespoons corn oil
4 to 6 ears corn, stripped of their kernels (or 1 cup frozen)
1 small red onion, chopped
1/2 red bell pepper,  chopped
1 teaspoon mild chile powder, like ancho
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 cup black beans (canned are fine)
Juice of 2 limes
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves, more or less
1/2 tablespoon sea salt

Instructions

1. Put the oil in a large skillet  and turn the heat to high. When the oil is very hot but not yet smoking, toss in the corn. Let it sit for a minute or so, then stir or shake the pan; brown the corn a bit, 5 minutes or less, then turn off the heat and stir in the onion, pepper, chile powder, salt, and pepper.

2. Cool for a few minutes, then toss with the remaining ingredients. Taste, adjust the seasoning, and serve hot, warm, or at room temperature.

4th of July weekend is almost here! Can I get a woot woot? Anyone? No?

Well, you will be woot-wooting when you know how much easier I am about to make your life. Surely you are going to a BBQ of some sort this weekend and as if figuring out your outfit isn’t hard enough (something that says, ‘yeah I’m patriotic’ but doesn’t look like it came from your dad’s closet) you also have to figure out what to make for your friend’s/aunt’s/brother’s best friend’s girlfriend’s BBQ. You want to look like you tried (showing up with a bag of Tostitos and salsa, albeit tempting, is not on your radar) but you are NO Paula Deen.

Hell, you’re not even Rachael Ray.

Well, thank god you know about this article. Drinks and desserts, my friends. Drinks and desserts. These are the crowd pleasers. The attention getters. And I’ll be damned if I send you to a party and let some other chick’s dish get more attention.

So here you go: two easy to make – but delightful to look at  and delicious to eat/drink -  4th of July BBQ potluck showstoppers.

God Bless America. And cake. And vodka. Amen.

The Drink to Know about:
The Strawberry Sucker
Add a skewer of blueberries for a splash of blue! So easy to make, so yummy to drink and the more your guests drink, the more impressed they will be with your creation!

Ingredients:
Ice cubes
1 ounce vodka (2 tablespoons)
2 ounces strawberry schnapps (4 tablespoons)
Club soda
1 strawberry, halved

Directions:
Fill a highball glass with ice cubes. Add the vodka and schnapps and top with club soda. Garnish with the strawberry.

The Dessert to Know about:
Red-White-and-Blue Strawberry Shortcake
So simple yet so pretty and it makes you look SO creative. Throw some coconut shavings in between the strawberries for texture if you’re a fan of the coconut! And if you’re feeling daring, go for a funfetti cake instead of a yellow. Whatever makes you happiest.

Ingredients
1 (18.25 ounce) package yellow cake mix
1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
1 pint blueberries, rinsed and drained
2 pints fresh strawberries, rinsed and sliced

Directions
Prepare cake according to package directions and bake in a 9×13 inch pan. Cool completely.
Frost cake with whipped topping. Place blueberries in a square in the corner, and arrange sliced strawberries as stripes to make an American flag.

Chill until serving. And then chill with a Strawberry Sucker as everyone licks their plates clean.

Whenever we need to make a difficult decision, we make a list. You know, like when we were choosing our favorite cupcake bakery, when we were choosing what to spend our tax refund on, or when we weren’t sure which we loved more: our Prada backpack or our Skechers.

So when are constantly faced with the awful decision of which annoying celebrity is more grating on our nerves, we make a list. Yes, this is a decision we feel the need to make on a weekly basis. We have a lot of time on our hands.

Moving on.

This week’s showdown is between two celebs that continue to invade our lives, no matter how hard we try to avoid them: Rachael Ray and Tyra Banks. Who is makes us want to kill ourselves more? We wish we didn’t have to choose. Let’s break it down:

Career
Rachael Ray landed herself a show on the food network cooking thirty minute meals. She also wrote about cooking thirty minute meals several times. Honestly how many times can you find “new” way to make tacos in a timely manner? Apparently not enough because Rachael then came out with her own cooking magazine. If that wasn’t enough Rachael Ray, we can watch her talk show and Dunkin Donuts commercials as well.

Tyra Banks became a runway model as a teenager and made a career out of it early on. Runway shows, catalogs, TV modeling competitions… she even likes to think she is a fashion photographer. This chick has exhausted the modeling angle and we seem to eat it up. After Victoria’s Secret, Tyra decided to go back to her TV career and became a talk show host. Oh, and don’t tell me you forgot about her recurring role on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air?

Point: Rachael Ray. Rachael won by a magazine. I’m sure Tyra is throwing a tantrum to start her own magazine as we speak, but for now the over-exposure point goes to Rachael.

Talk Show
Rachael Ray likes to wake her guests up in the morning with the voice of a raspy menthol smoker. Seriously, someone needs to lay off the shouting and suck on a Luedens for a few. After a brief talk session, she nauseates her audience with the fresh smell of simmering chili. Why is this a morning show again?

Tyra Banks has a talk show as well, but Tyra mainly likes to talk about herself. No matter what her guests have done, Tyra can one-up them with a fun little anecdote. Homeless guests? Tyra will talk about the time she pretended to be homeless. Overweight guests? Tyra will put on a fat suit for a day and tell us about it. Big boobs? Tyra has bigger boobs. Don’t even try to go up against the hostess with the mostess.

Point: Tyra Banks. Tyra tries to do it all… and fails. You can’t have both! You are either a crazy guest, or a crazy host – never both!

Over-used Catch Phrase
Rachael Ray:
EVOO - Rachael used this gem so god-damn much it is now in the Oxford English Dictionary. I really wish I was joking.

Yum-o! – Why can’t we just say “yummy”? Is it really that different? Why Rachael, why?

Sammies - Once again, I ask why not sandwiches? It’s not that far off and saying the full word will still allow you to complete that meal in under 30 minutes. I really don’t like this cutesy abbreviation trend we have going here. She needs to be stopped.

Tyra Banks:
“Smile with your eyes”- I’m sorry, this can’t be done. We can look happy with our eyes or smile with our mouth, but one cannot smile with their eyes.

“Fierce!”- Not everything is fierce. Runway walking? Yes. Eating a hamburger? No, not fierce.

“I have two beautiful girls standing in front of me….“- We hear this every freaking episode. Enough! We get it, you like repetitive monologues. They are models, they are probably pretty, one has potential…you don’t need to keep saying it.

Point: Rachael Ray. Tyra may be repetitive (and batsh*t crazy), but Rachael is just plain irritating. Really? We need to abbreviate extra virgin olive oil? Oh wait, we need to explain our abbreviation, which defeats the point of an abbreviation? Well then, Rachael gets the point for most annoying catch phrase.

Photos
Rachael Ray posed for an FHM spread a few years ago. She tried to look sexy in a variety of shots where she licked a spoon, washed some dishes and cooked a turkey.

Tyra Banks made a career out of modeling. These days she seems to critique photos more than she poses for them.

Point: Rachael Ray. Both ladies like to ham it up, but maybe Rachael should leave it to the professionals (even if we do like seeing her vs. hearing her talk). Perhaps Tyra could help her find the light… or learn how to smile with those eyes.

Celebrity Idol
Rachael Ray wants to be the next Martha Stewart (give or take the waspy accent). She even has the magazine and television show to prove it. Maybe we’ll even see Rachael in jail sometime soon; that would be fun. She could talk about how much she misses EVOO and make 30 minute meals out of whatever gruel they serve in the clink.

Tyra Banks would love to take over for Oprah. She even has that excited yelling thing down. Little does Tyra know, there is only enough room in the talkshow town for one Oprah, and that one isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Sorry Tyra.

Point: Tyra Banks. There is only one Oprah. Don’t even try.

Celebretard Prize: Rachael Ray

Obama’s Senate seat has been filled.

Cameron Diaz is more like us than we thought!

We’d rather wear a Georgio Armani than see one in a Speedo.

The 9 high school classmates you’re sure to see over break.

Beauty products we’d like to forget.

What were the best music videos of 2008?

Jake Gyllenhaal isn’t totes off the market just yet.

5 ways to amp up that workout.

Um, women can grow extra boobs? I couldn’t even grow the first pair…

Yes, it’s true: on her show, she and a “guest” stroked some corn cobs with eerie delight. I never thought I’d have to see Rachael Ray’s man hands do anything so suggestive.

If the preview photo to the left doesn’t put you off, you can check out the video HERE.

My style idol this week is none other than Angelina Jolie. How can you not envy this woman? She does and has it all: six kids, Brad Pitt on her arm (as Rachael Ray would say, yum-o!), a U.N. Ambassador, is one of the highest paid and grossing actresses of our time, and she donates a huge chunk of her income to charity.

Oh yeah, and while doing all that, she still looks absolutely fabulous.

You can’t deny she’s one of the hottest women on the planet and she plays up her hotness with her amazing eye for pieces that highlight her jaw-dropping body and almost unbelievable beauty. And she does this even while several months pregnant with twins, or when she is going through a weird “I wear blood around my neck” phase.

Whether sporting a sexy tight leather number or a flowing maxi dress, Angelina always looks like a goddess.