Tuffy Luv Is Prejudiced Against Bigots

no-racismEmail your pressing questions to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for the chance to get a pressing answer! You dig?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My boyfriend is a racist. Not the kind that’s making racist remarks all the time, but he says things that I think are racist and then he says they’re just a joke. But it makes me really uncomfortable because it makes me feel like I’m a racist too because I’m not stopping him.

Should I keep dating my boyfriend? We’ve been together for a year and otherwise I really love him. He’s a really good guy, but when he says things like that I don’t know what to do.

Carrie

Dear Carrie,

Well, you didn’t give any examples, so it’s hard to say. But here’s what Tuffy thinks:

I know it’s painful, but you gotta sit your guy down and tell him how you feel. Say, “Tommy (can I call your boyfriend Tommy?), Tommy, I don’t like the things you’re saying about [whatever group he's racist in the general direction of]. Where is this coming from?” Read More »

Duke It Out: Intercultural Dating

couple in love copy[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like lowering the drinking age!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Let’s get one thing straight: here at CollegeCandy, we accept all colors and creeds – and we are not talking about race here (a girl from Jamaica and one from Kenya might share a racial group, but have totally different cultural heritages). In fact, it was my multi-ethnic group of friends who got me thinking about the issue.

Because I have no real cultural heritage, I never really considered issues like this, at least until my Indian friend mentioned that she only dates inside her ethnic group. A part of my brain automatically said “that’s racist!” But then she started talking about how the culture she grew up in is important to her and how she would rather be with someone who can understand and share that background with her, and maybe their kids, one day. And I have to admit, I can see her point of view.

I’ve spent most of my dating life with white Christian guys because they’re who I grew up with, but now that I’m dating a Jewish guy, I have to admit, sometimes I feel like an outsider. And likewise, I’ve wondered what would happen if we had kids? After all, the way that I ended up without a cultural heritage was that my ancestors didn’t bother about their cultural differences. These are questions that had never occurred to me before, but suddenly, they seem important.

On the one hand, there are a lot of great things to be said about inter-cutural dating. After all, isn’t looking past the surface, seeing everyone as equal, something we’ve been aspiring to for a long time? All of the mixing helps us learn and understand about other groups – and let’s face it, you make more of an effort to understand something if someone you care about is involved in it (Manishewitz would not have been on my “to try” list if not for my guy). Also, I certainly wouldn’t want to give up my relationship, or expect anyone else to, just because of something like background – it sounds silly to even consider it. Read More »

Candy Dish: Megan Fox Is Scaring Us!

megan-foxWow, Megan Fox, that’s one tiny corset!

Swine Flu side effects: fever, chills, and Racism?

Julia roberts can cuss like a sailor!

Heart on your sleeve, emoticons on your ears.

First Lindsay, now Ali. Can we expect Dina in a Bikini next?

Bacon flavored lip gloss just sounds wrong.


Racist Morons Or Modern Satirists?

What do you think?  Are “Obama Waffles” just a funny political joke, or something just a little more frightening?

Get Your Care On: Issues To Worry You This Election Season

vote2008logo.jpgWe’ve got a serious case of the Issues this year. But what to care about? Where do you aim your burgeoning, passionate fury? Trick question! Everywhere, of course! We’re all such furious young people. But you’d be remiss if these weren’t on your political plate:

-The New Russia

Does Russia actually have the national cojones to start a second Cold War? Honestly, it seems unlikely; as a nation, we’re not as fresh around nukes as we used to be, and I’d hope there have been enough near misses since then that’d we’d be leery of another round of brinkmanship. But it’s clear that the Motherland is tired of playing second fiddle to emerging powerhouses like China, and with all the god-knows-what they’ve been getting into recently, we’ll definitely want a Prez who can play both hardball and group hugs with the Russians. Of course, this probably won’t affect the average college student much, though you might want to bug your facilities management about getting some sturdier desks. Read More »

Hey America, Wake Up and Smell the Racism!

End racism through unity

This past week CC asked our readers whether or not racism was still an issue in the country. You all were pretty mixed in your responses—a third of you said that it was a major issue, another third said that we’d made progress but still need to work on it, and another third said that it wasn’t an issue anymore.

Probably a lot of the confusion comes from what we perceive to be racism.

For example, a male Caucasian clerk is friendly with a Caucasian female and then rude to an African American male—now this could be a clear cut case of sexism—clerk is hitting on the female and rude to the male, or a clear-cut case of racism.

The way in which you experience that scenario is really dependent on your previous life experiences.

During my childhood in Southern California, I understood racial tension to be part of a larger issue—i.e. gang violence or immigration. For me the civil rights movement was a thing of the past. In the scenario above, I definitely would have leaned towards the sexist explanation.

Then I moved to Washington, DC. Read More »

In Defense of Harold and Kumar

harold_kumar_2.jpgYes, I’m not ashamed to say it: I loved Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, and I am really really excited for the release of the sequel, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantánamo Bay.

I’m not a stoner, and I don’t really find big boob jokes/pot jokes/fart jokes/beer jokes particularly funny. So why the heck did I like this film? Well, besides Neil Patrick Harris (fantastic) and White Castle (yum), I think the creators, Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, are on to something here. The New York Times reviewed the new film recently, calling it a “stoner protest film”, due to the combination of drug humor and sharp political satire–what’s more, the review was actually quite positive.

For those of you who don’t know, Harold and Kumar’s first film involved two stoners determined to make it to White Castle in order to satisfy their munchies. The second film, however, as the name suggests, involves the ultimate stoner vacation (Amsterdam) gone horribly wrong. Harold, a Korean-American, and Kumar, an Indian-American are thrown off their flight after trying to light up in the bathroom. An overzealous Homeland Security officer draws the conclusion that North Korea and Al Quada have teamed up, and throws both of them in Guantánamo Bay. Hyjinks ensue, of course, but so does a very interesting treatment of race in the post-9/11 era. Read More »

Long Duk Dong: Offensive? Um, No

 

long-duk-dong.jpg

So, now that it’s the 21st century and all, NPR’s Web site has an article proposing the idea that—gasp—Gedde Watanabe’s character in Sixteen Candles, Long Duk Dong, might be a racist caricature that doesn’t actually represent every single Asian on Earth, ever.Fetch me the smelling salts, because I think I’ve fainted of surprise.

This would probably be a good time to come clean and mention that I’ve never actually seen Sixteen Candles, so maybe the character of Long Duk Dong is unfathomably racist and I’m just too cinematically uncultured to know that. But my money’s still on no. Read More »

Brown + White = Reason to Stare?

interracial.jpgSometimes, when I go out with my boyfriend in public, people stare…and stare…and stare. Unfortunately, it’s not because I’m drop-dead gorgeous or because my boyfriend is a total stud (although to me he is). It’s because his skin is brown and mine is white.

Before I go any further, I’m going to offer up a disclaimer: a lot of people don’t stare. Most people don’t even give a second look. And I don’t assume that those who do are staring only because we’re an interracial couple…but it sure does seem the most likely reason.

Honestly, when I started dating him, I was expecting the most conservative of the conservative white folk to be the ones who stared. As much as we’re living in the 21st century here, interracial relationships are still a little too futuristic for some people.

So imagine my surprise when it turned out to be all the Indians who stared. Read More »

Grey’s, I Miss You

meredith greys anatomyThursday nights I like to:

a) Relax with a bottle of wine and

b) Watch Grey’s.

But since I knew a new episode was not on the horizon, I chose to compensate with some extra “a”’s which led to a night out at the bar and the hangover I’m still feeling as I sit in my cubicle. See what happens when I don’t have Grey’s in my life?

Anyway, last week’s episode really made me laugh, made me cry and left me hanging…

1) The Nazi. Initially, I really didn’t know what this guy’s deal was. Was he afraid of women? Was he gay? But soon, it became painfully obvious that he was racist. Now how Bailey handling this whole situation was classic.

She tried so hard to be the bigger person and although successful, she couldn’t help but make this dude pay for his tattoo/close-minded beliefs.

2) The ambulance crash. This is was probably the saddest and most emotional part of the episode. On one hand we have the Chief fathering emotionally unavailable Meredeth, which is so cute even though I really am not a fan of her.

And on the other, we have the paramedic exchanging his last words with his wife (which drew a few tears). It seems that Meredeth becomes emotionally invested in this situation and maybe beginning to appreciate who and what she has in her life. Read More »