Here are ten things you are definitely never too old for:

1. Glitter: Although you got away with wearing glittery lip gloss and questionable glittery eye shadows as a preteen, it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a little glitz and glam now. Seriously, if Lady Gaga and Katy Perry can rock glitter on a daily basis, so can you. Not sure how to pull off glitter without looking like a five-year-old that got a little too crazy at the arts and crafts table? Add a glittery top coat to your nail polish or go for a subtle glitzy shimmer in your eyeshadow. Want to be a little over the top? Go for the gold in a metallic glittery shirt. Worst case scenario is that you look like a Claire’s employee. Best case: you look hot.

2. Pigtails: Preschoolers aren’t the only ones that can rock this look. While you probably don’t want to be known as “pigtail girl” around campus, going out with pigtails could be a fun and flirty alternative to your everyday hair. You probably had your pig tails pulled up high, so for a more-adult approach to this look that you’re never too old for — sport them lower. Also, pigtails work incredibly well when you’re working out.

3. Licking the bowl of batter: You know you did it when you were younger. Your mom baked a cake and you couldn’t keep your little hands out of the chocolately goodness. Go ahead — dip your finger in the mix. Or, just dig in with a spoon. Or don’t even cook the batter and just go after the cookie dough. You’re definitely not too old to enjoy any kind of sweets — baked or not. Go ahead, no one’s looking!

4. Sleeping With A Stuffed Animal: Just because you’re in college doesn’t mean you have to leave your favorite stuffed animal at home, you know the one that you have been sleeping with since you were two years old. While you probably shouldn’t bring your Beanie Baby collection and your CareBear stuffed animal set along with you, you don’t have to give up your best bed buddy entirely now that you’re 21. However, we do recommend you refrain from setting up your Polly Pockets on your dorm desk.

5. Reading Books For Girls: Who says that just because you’re an English major writing a thesis about Shakespeare’s heroines that you can’t appreciate your favorite book as a fourteen year old? Even though you aren’t writing essays about the importance of Harriet the Spy, it doesn’t mean you can’t go back to those old books you loved. Now that you’re older, maybe you’ll get something entire different out of them. Also, just because you never got the chance to read that Judy Blume novel you wanted to read, you don’t have to give up hope. Read it! No one will judge you reading a book for a high school girl. You can still feel young at heart with each turn of the page.

6. Disney Movies: Every group of girls should at least have a Disney night throughout their college career. Remember how you loved The Little Mermaid so much? Watch it. You don’t always have to watch rated-R movies and crappy comedies about bromances. For so many kids, Disney was a main staple, so chances are that you and your friends will all have your own opinions about the best movies and the best Disney princesses.

7. Calling Your Parents: So you had a bad day in class — call your mom and cry about it. Although you may feel silly calling your mom to cry when you’re away at college, it’s not silly at all. You used to do it all the time, back in the days of glittery lip gloss and tutus. Not only will you feel better to be consoled by your mom or dad, you will make your parents feel like you still need them. In fact, call your parents frequently. I’m not talking about every day, but check in and say hi. Just because you’re out of the house doesn’t mean you can’t count on them. However, I think it’s safe to say that the one time you shouldn’t call your parents is when you’re drunk…all you need is one slurred word and they’ll have campus safety on the lookout for you.

8. Top 40 Hits: Just because it’s 2010 and the Backstreet Boys haven’t had a major hit in a few years doesn’t mean you can’t rock your body and sing along to “I Want It That Way.” In fact, you’re never too old for top 40 hits from back in the day. Remember when Britney was a school girl with pigtails? If not, you should re-vist this because no matter how grown up you are, pop music can still make you feel whatever age you were when it was a hit. Instant nostalgia anytime, courtesy of iTunes and the radio!

9.  Old TV Shows: You are never too old to go back and re-watch TV series’ such as Boy Meets World, The Adventures of Pete and Pete, and Clarissa Explains It All. In fact, you’re never too old to indulge in the drama of your favorite coming-of-age WB (remember when it was called the WB?) shows such as Dawson’s Creek, Felicity, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While these shows might be a blast from the past, it doesn’t mean you can’t watch them with as much glee as you once did.

10. Saying “When I Grow Up”: Just because you’re “grown up” now doesn’t mean you can’t think of the future and what you want it to bring you. With the same vigor that you possessed when you were dying for your mom to paint your nails, get excited about the future and when you “grow up.” Don’t be scared to say things like “I’ll get botox when I grow up” and “I can’t wait to grow up and not drink boxed wine.”

For me, 2009 can be broken down to Miley Cyrus at football pregames, Lady Gaga at frat parties, and my best friend who cannot rest until she creates a line of people to each take a shot during the “Shots Shots Shots” chorus. There was also a bit of studying somewhere in there (which was accompanied by the Kings of Leon), and some working out (to Kelly Clarkson). And that is how I’ll always remember my year.

Now that 2009 is almost o-v-e-r, I put together a playlist of the biggest and baddest songs of 2009. This top 20 list will take you back to the days before Kanye and Taylor Swift. Before Sully landed a plane in the Hudson River. Before we lost Michael Jackson. Even before Perez Hilton got a black eye from the Black Eye Peas. (Remember that glorious day??)

Play it as you scroll through your drunken Facebook photos from the year. Play it as you get ready for that mega NYE bash. Play it in 2011 when there are all those new tween stars being overplayed on the radio and you just wanna hear a little Party In The USA, dammit.

Just play it.
Happy New Year!

Dear (See Below) Bands,

I love your music. Love, love, love. But can you maybe try to be a little less annoying? It makes it so hard to defend you when I tell my friends about my favorite artists. Actually, it makes it hard to admit to anyone that you happen to be one of them.  And I want to make them like you, really, I do. But like that friend who has a minor character flaw that now pisses you off enough that you really can’t see the good in her anymore,  I’m finding it difficult to enjoy your music knowing how annoying you are.

Here are some heart-to-heart tips from your loving (secret) admirer to be a little less annoying and a little more rock and roll.

Fall Out Boy

You always have a spot in my 6-CD player in my car. Sugar, you’ll never go down on the playlist for me if you continue to make some of the sweetest pop punk music out there. But please, Pete Wentz, I’m begging you – cut your hair, lay off the eyeliner and put on a damn shirt when you are on a magazine cover. You need to settle down – you play bass. And, um, you have a kid?

Also, Patrick, can you please enunciate your song lyrics so I can actually sing along and not just randomly open my mouth while humming the tune to look like I know what I’m singing? And what’s up with the weird syntax and bizzare punctuation in the song titles? Thnks Fr Th Confusn. I mean, e.e. Cummings was a legit poet, while you’re just… an antithesis of all semblance of reason. And grammar. My English teacher highly disapproves.

Avril Lavigne

“I’m with you” on how most of your songs are about girl problems to which every teenager can relate. And I love how you have other gigs too, like co-writing “Breakaway” for Kelly Clarkson and even recording The Spongebob Squarepants Movie theme song (my little bro totally agrees).  But I’m pretty sure that hot pink hair, combat boots, and thick-enough eyeliner to paint a mural were out of fashion like 10 years ago. You remind me of the wanna-be punk-rocker chicks at my old high school who stood in their corner by the snack machine and talked about how “complicated” their life was and how their parents didn’t understand them. You’re married now, for goodness sakes, so do your husband a favor and stop wearing pink angel wings and acting like a “sk8er boi.” Oh, and learn how to play the guitar for real. You’re kinda getting “under my skin.”

Coldplay

The first time I heard “Clocks,” it changed my life. And continued to do so for the 100 times I listened to it on repeat afterward. You should even see my wall – there’s a giant banner that shouts, “viva la vida,” my adopted mantra para mi vida. But enough with the same gloomy, sad looks while you play haunting, heart-wrenching melodies on the piano, Chris Martin. I’m wondering if you’re able to play some different chord progressions as well, since you only seem to stick to one particular one on every. single. bloody. song. Can we maybe change it up a bit, with chords and tempos and basically not have the same harmonic patterns last throughout the whole album? Or four? Keep the accent though, please. Oh, and tell Gwyneth to lose the GOOP.

Simple Plan

My friend saw you in concert in Japan, and just like her, I must say: I’m “addicted” to your music. In a “perfect world,” I would hang out with you guys all day and do crazy stuff like dye the neighbor’s pool yellow or something, because, let’s face it, “I’m just a kid.” You seem like a bunch of cool, fun kids just making music because you can, and I love that about you. But unfortunately, you kinda remind me of blink182. But not in a middle-school-memories, emo-phase, dress-like-a-punk, nostalgic sort of way. More like a trying-a-little-too-hard, bad-album-titles, life-is-so-unfair-let’s-cry-about-it sort of way. Skateboarding is a sport, not a prop, and yelling at your parents on a rooftop in the pouring rain? Effective, but kinda cheesy I must say. Maybe there’s a reason you’re “still not getting any”…

Miley Cyrus

My guilty pleasure of all things guilt-full and pleasurable is “See You Again.” It’s on my workout playlist, my clubbing/dance-party playlist, and my blasting-in-the-car playlist. To the point where I’m headbanging and screaming out the lyrics with my girlfriends, and looking like a mad woman to the car next to us. But oh mah gah. There is so much advice and wisdom I wish to impart upon you that’s long enough to last a whole Oprah episode. You’re obviously not as big as a band, but your ego is big enough compete with one. Can you please act your age and stop dating older men that are probably not into you and more into your…assets? And stop taking those trashy MySpace pictures that even my 12 year old cousin knows not to take? You’re probably one of the reasons sexting is such a problem these days among teens. Or maybe just why television shows are going down the drain. Whatever happened to old Disney classics like Even Stevens and Sister, Sister? Dump the TV show and the drama queen act and just behave more like the role model you’re supposed to be for young girls. Then I won’t be so embarrassed when someone sees you on (every single one of) my iPod playlists.

Love,

Your (Not-So-Secret-Anymore) Admirer

No, it’s not what you would think, not an obsession with trashy TV, trying to keep up on the latest fashions, or incestuous dating, but instead a nearly non-existent work ethic. That’s right, watching The Hills is making you a bad employee.

Initially, I scoffed at the woman’s assertions (I will give her the Spencer points though, since he has no job – unless he considers being Heidi’s boyfriend/ “manager” a full time gig.) I have been known to watch The Hills from time to time, and am still capable of holding down a job. And, for whatever points it’s worth, I’ve even commented to my friends during a Hills viewing about the amazing yet easy seeming jobs the cast snags. How the hell they manage to get them with no degrees or really any intelligence, and how they hold on to them considering the better part of their day is spent out around town, texting, partying , chatting, or twirling their hair, is beyond me. I think it is safe to assume if it wasn’t for MTV, LC and the gals would be living solely off their Laguna Beach allowances.

But I digress. After taking a moment to ponder the work ethic of early twenty-somethings such as myself, I have to admit I don’t think I have the same desire to “get my hands dirty” as say, my parents or grandparents did in their early twenties. Rather than it being a result of “The Hills” though, I think it has a little something to do with a sense of entitlement from being what I like to call, a Millennial. (Millennial is great word huh? I wish I could take credit for that little catch phrase, but it was actually a friend of mine who mentioned it.)

The word Millennial stems from the idea that we — being a generation who came to age in the new millennium — have had a serious amount of information and technology at our disposal since we were old enough to sit up at a computer screen. We’ve never really had to look that far for information, whether it be for writing a paper on censorship or how to make a killer margarita, information in any form on anything has always been literally at our fingertips.

With all this information and technology, we as a generation were able to bypass many of the horrors of school our parents and older generations had to deal with, such as actually searching through piles of books for research, using a typewriter (with no delete button) or worse, hand writing papers.

Also, as I plug my iPod into my computer for a quick re-charge, I am also reminded of the massive amounts of distraction we are surrounded by which allows us to half-ass most things and multi-task virtually always. Think iPod, cell phone, TV’s in every room, internet, etc. Distractions much?

As for the feeling of entitlement in our generation, (i.e. I know how to do everything, I went to college, and my mom said I am smart) we have gotten so used to having everything that no one is willing to just suck it up and start at the bottom. And why would we want to, when our whole lives we have been made to feel that going to college automatically gives us an upper-hand? I admit I left college thinking, “well, now that I have this degree I don’t need to worry about applying for those silly entry level jobs, I clearly have what it takes — I went to college, remember?” Well, the truth sure did hurt, and I found myself planted nicely in an entry level job.

But how many of us are excited to take that entry level job when there are so many better jobs out there? Out of everyone I’ve talked to, not many were psyched at the chance to do data entry or work the front desk or in the mail room or the midnight shift. Actually, scratch that, no one was psyched.

So, back on the question of the work ethic, I have to admit, I am definitely that girl who checks her personal email when no one is looking. I’ll send text messages to my friends when I have a spare second. And when I get bored and no one is watching, I cruise TMZ. If I could get away with it, I’d nap and paint my nails, but I think the fumes and my head down on the desk would give me away. That admitted, I still think I have a pretty good work ethic. I show up on time, every day (hung-over or not) do what I am supposed to do and do a pretty damn good job.

So, I’ve decided: maybe the definition of work ethic has been altered thanks to us multi-tasking, technologically savvy, reality TV obsessed Millennials, but please, oh please don’t give that much credit to The Hills!

So, I’m going to bring you MY version of the good stuff, old school style, spanning several decades. Holla!

1. She’s Got A Way and Piano Man- Billy Joel

Ok, if you really want to go there….just buy a Greatest Hits album, so worth it.

2. Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves- Cher

Yeah, Cher. And no, I’m not a gay man.

3. I Have Nothing- Whitney Houston

Whitney would MURDER any of those American Idol b*tches.

4. Bennie and The Jets and Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word- Elton John

Elton John should be my father. I want to be his adopted baby.

5. Shower The People and Sweet Baby James- James Taylor

What better message is there than all of the worlds problems could be healed if we, “Showered the people you love with love…”

6. Go Your Own Way- Fleetwood Mac

Stevie Nicks is basically my fashion muse.

7. Dream On- Aerosmith

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who wants to make out with Steven Tyler, I’m totally on board.

8. Gimmee Shelter- The Rolling Stones

Whoa….Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger in a three person kiss? Can you even imagine?! Holy. lips.

9. Hey Jude and Well…..everything they’ve ever done?- The Beatles

I feel spiritually connected to The Beatles. I’m truly a flower child. Am I alone?

10. Earth Song and Man In The Mirror- Michael Jackson

No “One Hit Wonder” here, though fame maybe…just maybe…drove him a little crazy.

11. Open Your Heart- Madonna

Next: Madonna runs for president.

12. Separate Lives- Phil Collins

His great songs often get overshadowed by “True Colors” and that damn Lion King song, wait- was that him?

13. Fields Of Gold- Sting

SUCH A FAN.

14. Bloody Sunday- U2

Before Bono was off saving the world, he was a badass musician…

15. Again and I Get Lonely- Janet Jackson

AND….in closing, I give you, God:

16. Prince- I don’t even need to give you a song, he’s a one word, one symbol…all-encompassing entity.

[Any other Best Of songs to add?]

Here’s an excerpt from her blog:

“There is only so much infidelity a person can handle before they stop believing in love. In order to keep women of the world from becoming bitter, cynical spinsters I ask that we as a gender stick together and have a weekend without men!…In fact, this Saturday March 15th. Take back your night.

Dress up for yourself, go do something for you, don’t worry about him. Let him sit on his couch playing Halo with his buddies who suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome and wonder, “I wonder what (insert your name) is doing right now?” Let men see that women are not willing to deal with their crap anymore.”

What do you think of this: is she just projecting bitterness from a relationship-gone-awry, or is she onto something here?

Even though most of the girls fed up with men are likely without a date anyway on Saturday night, let’s turn it around; I’m all for actually choosing to be dateless this weekend. Let’s take back those two hours of primping for some dude’s weekend pimping, hang up our heels, slip on some sneakers and grab our girls to go out and have some freakin’ fun.

Do you have a girl’s night out plan?? Give us (and our readers) some ideas!

The long and the short of it is, This guy is about to propose to his girlfriend of 4 years, when he finds out she was caught giving some “oral dictation” to her Boss in the bathroom stall at the company Christmas Party. So, instead of breaking up with her in person, he recruits some help from a local radio show.

The result is painfully cruel- Gorgeous, I tell you.