Who remembers awkward snuggling!?

No matter if your school is comprised of baseball caps or plaid shirts, pearls or feather earrings, Big 10 football or frolf; there are some stories from college that cease to differ. When you put thousands of kids aged 18-22 in a close proximity for four years, there are going to be repeat offenses and plenty of stories to tell from them. The list below is composed of the top 10 stories from your average college kid- the embarrassing, the awkward, and (unfortunately) the frequent.

1. Omg well MY roommate…
Even if you and the roommates become best buds for life, there is always that one annoying thing he or she does that always manages to come out when you’re studying for your Biological Anthropology final. These habits could range from moderately annoying (like replaying the same 4 songs on loop at a creepily quiet level) to excruciatingly annoying (like sexiling you every night for two weeks straight, and leaving the proof everywhere). We’ve all got our stories, and we all love to one-up each other in conversations arguing over who had it worse.

2. Sloppy drunk you don’t remember
Again, I understand there are exceptions to this one as well. There are the few [lame] college students who do not touch a drink during their four years at college. However, for the rest of us, the majority has at least one story where we completely embarrassed ourselves in a drunken haze of a night. Whether it’s public vomiting or humiliating declarations, there are probably stories better left forgotten. Which brings me to my next story…

3. The awkward hook up
…pretty self explanatory. It’s the guy or girl you meet randomly a night out, s/he seems pretty cute and s/he is giving pretty obvious signs. You figure, why not? It’s college after all! Except the hookup wasn’t so great, you find out he/she was hooking up with one of your friend’s friends and they’re still kind of together, or in the middle you completely forget his/her name. I could go on and on and on…so many bad things can happen. Mostly likely you’ll have multiple (albeit, hilarious) stories. Which also leads to… (can you just notice my awesome flow for a sec?!)

4. Eye contact game
…awkward eye contact! Sorry if I sound strangely excited about this one- it’s my favorite to talk about. College is ALL about knowing when and when not to make eye contact with someone. We all play this strange little game where our “best friend” from the night before is approaching and we’re not sure if this person even remembers meeting us. What do we do? We avoid, avoid, avoid. Look at that fascinating pebble, leaf, or …sky? Someone probably texted you, you should check. If you forgot your phone, you should probably look through your bag for it. However, sometimes we can’t be so sly or we’re caught off guard. This is the time when you give the weak half-smile that you would give to any other stranger, giving them the opening to make a move, or to say “hi” (probably not though). Which also leads me to…

5. Pretentious, (so naturally) scary professor
… okay yeah, my good flow kind of ends here. This one is a little less scandalous. But everyone I have talked to has at least one story of a professor who was completely full of it. The professor that thought his class was the only one you were taking and you obviously wanted to spend all your free time writing that 20 page paper and studying for the midterm that was all due in a week. The professor whose office hours you’re afraid to go to (even though he tells you he “won’t bite”) and whose class you were even more afraid of making a sound in because Prof. Scary has written five books, all of which he assigns and all of which you haven’t read.

6. Staying up too late doing work and slowly losing your sanity
These are the moments where you really hope college pays off. You spend all night studying for those three midterms- and in exchange you lose a little bit of your soul…or sanity. This is usually exaggerated when friends surround you and you have someone who’s losing his/her soul and sanity right by your side as well.

7. Skipping class just ‘cuz
Whether it’s from a bad hangover, 30 degree weather or just sheer laziness, we’ve all had those moments where we want to exercise our freedom from accountability in high school and skip class just because we can. And why not? Those slides are put online anyway and no one will notice if 1 in 400 is missing.

8. Ditching the crazy friend
In the beginning of freshmen year, we’re all so desperate and nervous to make friends that we base these new-found friendships on proximity. The closer the classmates are to us, the faster we become their friends. However, as I’ve found out through my years in college, location is not the best indicator of a bffl. Everyone can relate to befriending someone who seemed normal at first, but then became really crazy really fast, or just batshit insane. It happens. By second semester you probably don’t even acknowledge that person on campus. And you know what? That’s okay.

9. “Almost” getting busted pregaming
This story mostly applies to freshmen year. You’re so excited to finally be in college and are ready to go crazy. You want to go out every night and you don’t care who knows! …Except maybe your socially awkward RA. There’s always at least one time when your pregame gets a little too loud for comfort and there’s a knock on the door. Is it the RA? Is it just another drunken friend wandering in? Either way everyone is shushed, hides his or her drinks (that’s gonna work), and turns down the music. Whether it is the friend or the RA, whether one gets busted or not, everyone has the story where it was “such a close call…we almost were written up!”

10. Eating your anxieties, excitements and failures
This is probably another one of my personal favorites and probably one I can relate easiest to. There was a moment freshman year when I realized that I forgot what it felt like to be hungry. Seriously. Between unlimited dining dollars and a constant supply of snacks stashed under the bed; mindless eating freshman year (and sometimes beyond) might be the most common story of all…and the weight-gain that quickly followed.

Lesson 14: Sometimes a hookup is just a hookup.

So after a few too many neon blue shots, you’ve let yourself throw caution to the wind and you’ve found yourself in a pretty disconcerting position with your crush or even worse, a guy friend. In the heat of the moment, you’ve shared a steamy night with a guy that’s got you reelin’ for more, not just physically but emotionally, too.

You start to let your mind wander all of the places you’d never let it before, maybe because he was always just a good friend or because you finally got some kind of response from the crush you’ve had for what feels like forever now. While you’re probably not picking up bridal magazines, unleashing all your crazy, you can’t help but wonder what the two of you could be like together, even if you already know it could never work out with him.

Blame it on the female tendency to attach emotion to sexual activity, but there are just some of us girls out there, who cant help but overthink something as primal and physical as hooking up. No need to be ashamed – after all, it’s only natural! And why shouldn’t you connect sexual activity to emotion? For many girls, sex is a deeply personal thing.

However, when you’re a single girl, sometimes a hookup is just plain and simply that – a hookup. Not every guy you kiss is going to be a prince or your next Noah from The Notebook, and just because you let a guy in physically, doesn’t mean he’s looking to let you in emotionally. Somewhere along the way the scale got a little off balance while most men typically view hooking up as a purely physical act and women search for some kind of emotional extension after.

I’m not by any means stereotyping girls as emotionally needy; there are definitely a lot of girls out there who can view sexual activity as just another source of pleasure and don’t need to make it mean more than it does. But as women, our minds can’t help but wander down the relationship path even if only for a split second.

If there’s anything I’ve learned in single career, it’s that sometimes a hookup is simply a blip on your dating radar. Don’t beat yourself up if nothing emotional comes of a late-night hookup. Not every guy you hook up with is going to be your next boyfriend or even your next date for that matter. If you expect a text or call the next day, I admire your hope and faith in the college dating pool, but don’t tear yourself apart if it doesn’t happen.

Above all, don’t ever feel guilty for giving in to a guilty pleasure hookup just because you don’t spend the next day in a full-on, non-stop texting flirtation with the guy. Take it with a grain of salt – some hookups turn into more and some don’t.

What are the first 13 rules of the Single Girl Society? Click here to find out!

I loved the idea of anonymity and the fact that I could meet a random guy and never have to see him again. It was a sense of freedom I had never quite experienced and one I decided to take full advantage of.

Then I learned one very important lesson: random hook ups in college do not exist.

One particular weekend I went home with a very nice lookin’ boy. He was in a fraternity that none of my friends were in/associated with, which was extremely appealing. We bunked up at his place, had a grand ole time and ended things the next morning with the obligatory phone number exchange (which I immediately removed upon arriving home… I didn’t plan on seeing him again, so why tempt myself during an inevitable drunk dialing situation?).

The following weekend, while out with some friends, we ran into some guys I didn’t know. I started pourin’ on the charm with the cutest of the bunch and we really hit it off. We ended up back at his place chowin’ down on some Jimmy John’s when his roommate came home and began regaling us with stories from his night…

Including one about my man friend from last weekend.

Turns out they were best friends. Hang out all the time. And, in fact, were having a joint birthday party the following weekend. Did I want to come? It was gonna be awesome! I haaaave to be there.

What were the chances? My school had 30,000 undergrads! These guys weren’t in the same fraternity or in the same year in school! How the hell did they know eachother?!

I left the next morning and returned home to tell my roommates about the not-so-random guy I met expecting them to sympathize. Instead, I was faced with faces full of shock. Turns out that the guy from the night before also happened to have just broken up with our next-door neighbor and a mutual friend of ours was in love with him.

WTF?

It turned out that not only were my hook-ups not so random, but actually became the talk of the town. (Note: This is even worse if the guy is ugly…careful with those beer goggles, girls!) I couldn’t avoid the stories…or the boys. They were suddenly everywhere I went – in my classes, at the bar, at UHS when I went there to stock up on my birth control….

I learned the hard way that college campuses feel like huge places, but it only takes a little time (and some late nights) to make them very, very small. Beware, ladies, of the random hookups. They are never what they seem.

[Photo courtesy of collegeotr.com]

I don’t know what it is about today, but somehow we have come across some seriously gross sh*t on the internet. Maybe we have too much time on our hands? Or maybe Tuesdays are just unlucky. Whatever the reason, we can’t keep it to ourselves. It’s just too….gross.

We know you are all out there taking a break from the summer classes/laying by the pool/that awful summer job and you need soemthing to do. So, here it is.

Click with caution. Oh, and learn from our mistakes: put down the snack foods, ladies. Somehow that Oreo Cakester just isn’t as tasty when accompanied by incest, moose knuckles and old lady hoo-hahs.

Which is worse: sex with your brother or sex with someone who looks exactly like your daughter?

Although, both may be better than an entire montage of camel toes...

Suzanne Sommers flashes her vajay on TV. So….old.

New to the competition circuit: oral sex. I’d like to know what the winner gets…

I don’t know why, but this just makes us want to vomit. Because obesity wasn’t already a big enough issue.

The best reason NOT to bring a random home with you from the bar. Seriously. SICK.