All hail Parents Weekend! At some colleges, parents have already graced your dirty dorms with their angelic presence, while other schools celebrate this unofficial holiday in early and late October. Regardless of whether mom and dad have come and gone or have yet to come, we’ve got all the basics to keep floating well above the water during Parents Weekend!

When I was a freshman, I could not wait to see my parents. It was the first sight of normalcy I’d seen in weeks after living with my super crazy psycho roommate. Seriously guys, don’t screw this up!

First, there are a couple of simple rules to follow when hoping to master Parents Weekend. Since mom and dad are going to spoil you silly with gifts, homemade favorites, dinner at your restaurant of choice (we all know you’re picking the most expensive) and maybe even a mini-shopping spree to get you those must-have dorm and wardrobe necessities, we’ve got a detailed list of a few subtle ways to give back. Read More »

So you want to take that next step with your boy toy. You’re ready to be exclusive, yet you’re a bit nervous about having “the talk’” with him. Well I’m definitely no relationship guru, but I can surely think of a few ways to absolutely ruin the moment.

Here they are: the 3 biggest don’ts of having The Talk:

1. Don’t try and break the ice via text. There’s nothing more impersonal than trying to have a serious conversation via text message. In person is your best bet.

2. Don’t decide to have the talk during game 5 of the NBA Finals. I guarantee you won’t get the response you’re hoping for.

3. Don’t ask your Facebook friends for advice. I’m serious, social networks could end your relationship before it even begins. You have been warned!

While I’ve covered the three biggest don’ts, my guess is that at this point, you’re still completely lost about what you should do. While I can’t give you any more advice (I’ve pulled a lot more don’ts in my years, than do’s) you can definitely find some more sound advice on the do’s and don’ts of having the talk here.

Good luck!

I was working late on a Friday night and the guys at work convinced me to hang out at the bar afterward. My mom was in town, so I went to a little martini bar with her after work and actually stayed out pretty late (for her).  When she went back to the hotel at just past midnight, I called the guys to ask where they were.  They all answered they were in a local dive bar not too far away.  I headed over and did a couple rounds – they were nowhere to be found. I texted, called – nothing. So I decided they were having too much fun to answer at that moment (we’ve all been there) and I sidled up to the bar to have a drink and wait for a bit.  No sooner had I ordered than some creeper had latched on.  I was trying to be polite, but made it clear I was waiting for people.  He kind of smirked and asked, “Well, where are your friends, then?”

“Um…I don’t know. They’ll be here soon.”

“Well, while you wait, you can sit at my table.”

Meh.  I wasn’t doing anything, so I headed over and stood near his table with his friends (also creepers).  After about three minutes, I decided that more drinking was needed.

“Oh wait, I see my friend at the bar. Sorry!” I practically ran away, desperately searching for any guy standing alone.  Bingo. Japanese guy with his back to me. I rushed up to him and tapped his shoulder.  “Hi, this is weird, but I need you to pretend to know me because I need rescuing from those guys over there in the booth.”

He looked bemused and simply shrugged his ascension. Read More »

When it comes to Facebook, you would be lying if you said you never found yourself looking at the pictures your winter vacation hookup (from 2001) just posted… or at the girl that annoyingly keeps writing on your boyfriend’s wall (and at all of her friends). I know, I know, you just randomly, somehow, stumbled upon them; you really, truly, only logged on to check your messages…3 hours ago. And now you are searching for that cute guy you met last night whose last name you don’t know (why did his name have to be Aaron?!).

Let’s face it; we’ve all stooped a little bit lower than we like to admit (logging on to a friend’s account to look at someone not in your network). Posted something for the sake of ONE person seeing it (an ex boyfriend perhaps? This picture totally screams “I am SOO over you”), or for the whole Facebook world to see (Look! I met Vince Vaughn! We sat at his table! This totally validates that I am cool. Take that all you who shoved me in a locker in high school!).

Every now and again, we all do a bit of random stalking or, as I chose to call it, investigative journalism. (The dictionary of my life says an email to my friends reporting my findings completely counts as journalism… “He’s single! Scooore!”) But with all this quasi-stalking that we do, we never really think that we are that important or fascinating enough that total randoms would waste their time looking at our photos from Halloween 2006.

That is, until it happens to you… and you find out.

And then, Facebook becomes really creepy. Read More »

I mean, Instant Messenger has been around forever. Remember those days in high school, when you would tell your parents “you just don’t understand!” and then stomp up to your room and begin to IM 20 friends at once, bitching about how your parents just didn’t understand?

Or how about Freshman year in college when you somehow managed to get your crush’s AIM name, and then proceeded to sit over the keyboard for hours, sweating about if IMing him and “just saying hi” would somehow make you a creepy stalker?

If you’re in my generation, you grew up with AIM, just like you grew up with boy bands and obesity. Growing up with AIM means that we’re all too familiar with the “Away Message”, a strange societal habit of TMI. Even though Away Messages tend to vacillate, there are a few that pop up time and time again. Below, we’ve captured the top 5 familiar few. Read More »

So we’ve been looking at Craigslist Missed Connection posts, the good, the bad, and the ugly. And now I’d like to address an animal of a different color:

THE POEM.

Oh my yes, the Missed Connection poem. Some poor guy gets it into his head that writing a creepy-ass poem about the object of his affection (emphasis on object–it’s all about what he saw on her the one time he saw her, obscured by the drool creeping up from his mouth into his eyes. yes, that’s how much he drools) is the way to her heart.

Because women really love creepy love poems dedicated to them on craigslist. Observe:

Hilarious Craigslist Missed Connection: Read More »

So, like,

Welcome to College Candy’s first advice column, Tuffy Luv Knows All.

And I do mean all.

Got a question about life? Sex? School? Family? Dating? Random Facts? Anything? ANYTHING?!

TUFFY LUV KNOWS THE ANSWER.

Seriously. Tuffy knows all.

So here’s how it’s gonna be. I’m not here to be a jerk at you, but I’m also not going to be fluffy like that outdated Ann Landers crap. I want to give you good, honest, sound advice. Advice you can freaking use, you know? Advice that’s better than the drivel your parents or roommate could offer.

But it’s gonna be, like, fun or whatever. And I promise, promise, PROMISE to answer all of your hardest and craziest questions with sensitivity, integrity, and a whole lot of research.

So post your questions in the comments (anonymously, if you want) so Tuffy can answer them and sh*t.

Right on.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv