It’s summer (if you haven’t noticed) and therefore my time is divided between sweating, drinking whatever is cold, squeezing into shorts, sweating, sleeping through the hottest part of the day, and watching late-night TV until my apartment cools down enough for me to fall sleep.

Late-night TV is an interesting beast, forever surprising you with its ability to throw random shows together in the hope that you’re so tired/drunk/spaced out that you won’t notice what’s going on.  I usually don’t notice, but lately I’ve been awake and sober, so I’m beginning to catch some things.  Like, American Idol is a horrible show full of annoying people, yet I can’t help but watch hours upon hours of reruns.

During one of my sweaty midnight marathons (not the good kind, trust me), I happened to see one of the more recent episodes of American Idol.  You know…the one with the bikini girl.  If I despised the American Idol judges before, you can bet that Kara DioGuardi’s actions didn’t make my feelings any fonder.  What was she thinking??  I mean, the only one to rival her in craziness is Paula Abdul.  The real question is, which one is more pathetic?  Well, let’s find out, shall we? Read More »

I, for one, am thoroughly sad to hear that the web is abuzz with rumors that Paula Abdul might be abdicating her judge-ship on American Idol. She’s my second fav of the 4 AI judges (I mean, honestly, no one beats Simon: that smile, that accent, his badass, smart-alleck wit…swoon; Randy I stop listening to after the first “dawg” leaves his mouth; and I haven’t completely warmed up to Kara, yet, though the girl can sing).

Ms. Abdul was always amidst controversy during her stint on the AI show, from Cory what’s-his-face who swore he did the “straight up” with Paula, to lingering questions as to whether or not her Coke might be mingling with some Captain in that bright red cup. Regardless, I don’t see how the show could be nearly as entertaining that mumbo jumbo that comes out of Paula’s mouth (“You’re so pretty!”) and her weird clap (seriously, what is with that?.

Let’s face it, guys: we need a little crazy dancing around while the contestants sing. But the crazy has, allegedly, left the building. So who can we get to take her place? Read More »

Did Angelina Jolie flash her Britney at Cannes?

Randy Jackson next to hop on the designer bandwagon.

Well hello, perfect floral dress for summer!

Your student ID is useful…even after college.

We hope Carrie Underwood is OK…

OMG. Someone loves Adam Lambert a bit too much.

Rihanna and Katy Perry take a vacay.

Ulta discounts for college girls!

Lookin’ good between seasons.

Super awesome green products.

Condi Rice and Randy Jackson?

You think you’ve had bad dates?

Win a free week at a spa!

So I’m one of those people who doesn’t feel guilty when I don’t give homeless people change. I can walk around with quarters jingling in every pocket, and they can follow me around salivating like Pavlov’s dog, and I’ll keep on talking or singing or counting squirrels without a second look. Now I’m not insensitive, I’ve just become de-sensitized. Even the girl with the bag pipes in the Public Garden and the guy with the banjo at Park Street have become nothing more than background music to whatever I happen to be thinking at the time.

Enter Status Quo.

Over the years I’ve learned I can’t dance. I can drink until I wake up in a toilet bowl, but I can’t even find rhythm there. When I first saw the ads for Randy Jackson Presents America’s Best Dance Crew on MTV, I put some T-Pain on iTunes, marked my calendar and waited to experience something as foreign as mud puddle mattress surfing.

And then I saw them. Status Quo. During the live casting episode, as Mario Lopez introduced the East Coast representatives, shots of Beacon Hill and Boston Common flashed across the screen. Six kids jumping and flipping off benches, and I knew those benches, and wait–I knew those kids. Read More »

Think you have an eye for talent? Are you the next Simon, Randy or (God forbid) Paula?

Well, AI won’t be around again for a few months, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get your talent show fix. (and no, The Singing Bee doesn’t count)

FameCast is an internet-based talent competition where the winner has the opportunity to win $10,000! And in an appreciated twist, the contest isn’t just for singers! Comedians, singers, dancers, directors, and spoken word artists all have a shot at a title in their category.

Fans voted for their favorite performers and all the performers had to do was upload a video of them doing their thing. Way easier than Idol, if you ask me. Read More »

It seems like yesterday that all of us were forced (ok, willingly obliged) to sit through the two hour weekly spectacle of American Idol. I can still hear Simon’s snarky comments, Paula’s drunken ramblings, and Randy’s so-white-how-can-you-be-black-“dawgs” in the back of my mind.

Sanjaya seems to have thankfully faded into pop culture history, and we’re yet to see if the American Idol curse will hit Jordin, or skip over her in a Carrie Underwood manor.

Seriously, didn’t it just end? So why, oh why are there already audition dates for the upcoming season? Is it so brave people don’t have to sit through horrible weather as they have in the past? Is it so Fox and the producers of AI can milk advertisers for even more money by making the show longer? Is it because we just can’t get enough?

Auditions begin on July 30th in San Diego, and snake their way across the country to finish up in Philadelphia on August 27th.

Cities hit in between—Dallas, Omaha, Atlanta, Charleston and Miami. My bet for the winner next year? Some cute farm girl from Omaha who will blow everyone away. I don’t know, just seems like an underdog story ready to be blown out of proportion. Read More »

Aight, aight. Yo. Sorry, I had to do it…I’m going to try and make this brief because—let’s face it—American Idol has gotten a little old this season, and I’m sure we’re all tired of hearing about it. So let me start with the judges….

I know it’s not a fashion competition, but what the hell was Randy wearing? You know he thinks he’s a general in his own mind. Yes, I believe he loves himself that much. Paula—I’m sorry about the bruise on your face, but do you have a speech impediment? To me, she always sounds like she’s talking with a retainer in her mouth, but last night, maybe due to pain killers, it was even more pronounced. And she was obviously tired from her fall cause she was relatively quiet.

Simon—I love you just the way you are. Maybe with a few more buttons undone. I’m sorry that everyone boos you. You’re the only one that makes sense.

Jordin owned Blake last night. Owned. What Simon said about her wiping the floor with him on the last (kind of wretched, but not surprised it was picked) song? Totally true. She walked out on that stage and it was like she’d already won. She knew she had it. And I loved her dress. Read More »

So… the Idols kicked it up a notch, and maybe I’ll watch again next season. This is normally my favorite week in the show—I’m always interested to see what songs the judges, and producers pick for the contestants, and I think they did well this time around. The songs all fit the contestants voices, and it really was a night that highlighted each of their strengths.

I definitely think that Blake is the weakest up there. He sounded better than he normally does, despite some really obvious pitch issues in Roxanne. I did love him singing This Love—I think it was by far his best performance of the season. But I can’t get over his really bad sense of style, and I’m getting tired of looking at that face he makes when he sings. He gets all serious, and looks like he’s trying to seduce the camera and I think it just looks… stupid. Smile, maybe. I don’t know—I’m a hater. Read More »