When it comes to ending a relationship gone bad, there’s a right way to make the break (and it doesn’t involve leaving an “It’s over, I’m sorry” note for your significant other to discover under her door or in her inbox). In “Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Her” you learned when the break-up is inevitable, it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to do the actual breaking-up. Instead of procrastinating, we have a few ideas to guide you through this unpleasant confrontation.

1. Tell her first

Don’t let her find out you want to break up with her from her cousin who knows a girl who overheard a guy who talked your dad who thinks he heard from your best friend. You obviously care somewhat about this girl if she is your girlfriend. So, out of respect for her, it’s only right that she be the first to know about it.

2. End it face-to-face

Be a man. Don’t call her, text her or email her this kind of news. She will probably want to talk to you after you break it to her and there is no other way to have a serious conversation with her unless you do it in person.

3. Say what you mean

Communication is key. You need to keep it short, sweet and simple. Express yourself calmly and clearly, and get to the point. It’s best to rehearse in your head what you want to say before actually talking her. You want her to see and understand your rationale for coming to this decision. Give her concrete examples why it just isn’t working anymore.

4. Don’t let her waterfall of tears intimidate you

Girls cry a lot and she will probably cry at the onset of your news, but this shouldn’t derail you from your original mission: to break up with her. Remember you made up your mind, so don’t fold once she opens the waterworks.