Press * for Kinky: Confessions from a Phone Sexpert

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Phone sex. One of those taboos that’s so great, people are willing to pay $5.99 a minute just to get some. Of course, if you’re in a relationship, you can get it for free. But you haven’t, have you? Sure, phone sex might seem awkward at first, but under certain circusmtances, it can satisfy the carnal needs of you and your partner.What’s the big deal with phone sex, you ask. I mean, sure, I prefer a quality hump to a Cingular-shag, but sometimes, you’re horny and physical contact isn’t an option.

I lost my phone sex virginity when I was in a long-distance relationship. Actually, we were having phone sex long before we had actual intercourse, because my track record was a lot longer than my man’s and I was trying to be a “good girl” and take things slow, or some bullsh*t like that.

Anyway, you know all the fluff and butterflies that come when you have a new crush, or even better, a new boyfriend. I was really into this guy. I wanted him. Bad. But I was buried with school work, and wouldn’t be able to visit him for a week or two. One night, I called him, half in the bag and 100% horny. Obviously, the alcohol lowered my inhibitions, and I started talking dirty, telling him how much I wanted him…and the next thing I knew, BAM! Phone sex. Read More »


Debbie Does…Retirement?: 73-Year-Old Porn Star Rulz the Screen in Japan

shigeo-tokuda.jpgYou gotta love Japanese culture. They always find a way to surprise you with their little quirks and pleasantries.

I mean, in America, the stereotypical retiree will move down to Florida to spend their time lounging by the pool in a gated community or playing a few holes on the golf course. Lame. In Japan, adult films for senior citizens, aka “elderly porn” is growing into quite the profitable franchise, according to porn producing giant Ruby Productions.

While America’s economy is declining, many entertainment venues (including golf courses) are taking a hit. In Japan, at least one retiree is cashing in on the entertainment biz. Shigeo Tokuda, 73, is the Ron Jeremy of elderly porn.

CNN correspondent Kyung Lah describes Tokuda as “the star of his movies in every way, romancing his co-stars, no matter their age, no matter their needs.” And apparently, his films are no-holds-barred, much like anything Jenna Jameson has appeared in. Read More »


Diddy vs Mariah: Stinky Showdown

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Mariah and Diddy are going head to head. Or should I say, smell to smell.

After Puffy’s (can we call him that anymore?) new fragrance Unforgivable hit the market (along with his unforgivably raunchy and illicit ad campaign) he issued a challenge to all his lady counterparts in the fragrance biz:

I send out a challenge…I challenge all of my female counterparts that have fragrances…that my fragrance is better than theirs. I’m a man and I know how women should smell!

Well, Hallelujah! A man that finally knows how I should smell.

Because, god forbid, I smell anything like I do at the present moment, which would be unshowered, with a slight scent of BBQ sauce from the hours I spent working last night. Oh! AND I’m pretty gassy because I drank too much when I got off work!

How’s that for lady smells, PUFF DADDY?? Read More »