I am never going back.

First, I’ll explain the downside, and if you can make it past that, then it’s possible an older man might be just what you’re looking for.

If you’re looking for a fling, this is NOT the type of relationship for you, unless otherwise explicitly stated.  (And then you’re saying to yourself, “What?! You’re 35 and you’re NOT trying to settle down?”)

Older men are also more likely to come with baggage — like ex-wives and/or children.

Also, I always have this lingering fear that they will somehow find me, or the things I do, or like, or say, to be utterly childish.  I always have this suspicion lurking in the back of my mind that they’re saying to themselves, “Oh how naïve and cute she is.”

On the other hand, I love the fact that they know how to order at a restaurant — and that they even have a restaurant in mind that they’d like to try.  For that matter, I like the fact that they know what they like and what they don’t like and aren’t still running around experimenting with whatever comes their way.

I like the fact that an older man can take a common sense approach to things, an approach that balances my own headstrong impulsiveness.   I like to listen to their stories of growing up in an era very different from my own.  I like that they know how to actually listen to my stories.  I like reminding them of what it’s like to be young and carefree, and helping them to lighten up a little bit.

Some more positives:

1.    They have JOBS.

2.    They are much more eager to please (in bed)

3.    More emotional and relational maturity

4.    They know more about the world, i.e. can have intelligent conversations on a variety of subjects.

Are you a convert yet?

By the way, I am not looking for a father figure.  I have one already, thank you very much, and we are very close.  I am looking for a real man, that’s all.  Someone who isn’t going to play games, and who has moved (hopefully) beyond the immature jealousies and strutting around of younger men.  I like someone who really knows how to hold a woman, and who knows how to relate to her like the individual that she is.

Maybe I just had bad luck. Maybe I just picked the wrong guys my own age.  And as much as it goes against my need for the new and exciting, I like the stability and safety of someone who doesn’t need to have his ego pumped, who has his own life, and wants to be with me just because he enjoys spending the time.  There is nothing more amazing than the connection of two brains on the same level.  You should try it sometime.

Got any stories of your own?  Do you think older men are hot, or are you just getting yourself into hot water?

[Photo courtesy of abc.net]

Lots of guys know how to dress. It’s definitely a turn-on when they find a style that fits their personalities. And even if they don’t have the know-how, sometimes all it takes is confidence, and even the biggest male fashion blunder can be overlooked.

But girls, we’ve all been here before:

“He’s really cute! Omigod…..well he was before I noticed he was wearing……that.”

“That” could be one of five things that, in my opinion, can make a good-looking, adorable, manly-looking kinda guy go from potential hook-up hottie, to….. “I think I see my friend over there.”

Beware. Counting down to the most irritating, here are the top five things real men should never sport. Ever. If you have a boyfriend who applies to this list, (though I hope that’s not the case) share this with him immediately. Share with everyone you can.

Strappy Sandals. You know the kind. The complicated, brown leather sandals with a slight heel. These monstrosities don’t make any outfit look anything remotely close to good.

Bracelets. Unless he’s wearing a diamond bracelet in hopes you’ll see it and say, “Hey, why are you wearing that diamond bracelet?” and he’ll say, “Oh, it’s actually for you. And there’s a lot more where that came from,” bracelets on guys are unnecessary.

Sunglasses at Night. Only acceptable if his name is Corey Hart, and he had a hit single back in 1983. Or he’s blind.

Popped Collars. The trend is slowly fading, but this overly annoying habit of so many college guys should have been completely gone a long time ago. Who is responsible for bringing this back in style? Can we track him down and slap him? I have found these collar-popping culprits a bit pretentious if you ask me. And what’s worse than a regular old popped collar? A pink popped collar. Real men don’t wear pink. Because they just don’t want to.

Jean Shorts. This is the worst of them all. There is no bigger let down than checking out a hot guy – his non-strappy shoes, his lack of jewelry and sunglasses, a collar placed firmly down where it belongs – only to find he’s sporting a pair of denim shorts. Don’t ask why. There just isn’t anything more disappointing. Jeans made for men should be manufactured solely in the form of pants. And then, of course, overalls would have to be done away with altogether. I’m a genius!

Happy Hunting!