Proposition 8 was overturned, and now we have to see that lesbian comedienne Ellen Degeneres as the new face of JCPenney? Where on EARTH will I shop now? Ladies, we’ve got to do something about this. Let’s protest that crazy talk show host so that her homosexuality doesn’t taint all our kids’ back-to-school clothes and our Christmas shopping.

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It’s not easy being gay. In a world where heterosexuality is the norm and homosexuality has often been seen as more than just a religious taboo throughout history—you know, when legitimately recognized at all, that is—the LGBT community has worked tirelessly to declare that sexual preference is not a “preference” at all; instead, the nature vs. nurture arguments now lean more toward a “I’m on the right track, baby, I was born this way” mantra. However, is it necessarily a winner-takes-all conclusion in the homosexuality debate? According to Sex and the City actress Cynthia Nixon, maybe there’s more than one way to be gay. And ton of people are pissed off about it.

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Real World is recruiting the 99%

Which three celebrities made Emma Stone cry??

Men really should not be wearing heels

What exactly is drunkorexia?

The French first family welcomes a girl!

High end is the best end

How involved should family be in your relationship

Great last minute costume ideas

“Oh.Em.Gee.  And then I woke up in his bed and he had peed all over his Superman sheets after we made out for four hours.”

“If one more person raises their hand in class and asks what time the final exam is as it is written in the 80 page syllabus, I’m going to vow to never eat a scone from the caf ever again. And that’s serious.”

“I think somebody farted in class today and I hope it wasn’t the hot dude. I really like looking at him and that would totally ruin things for me.”

These aren’t conversations I have anymore. In fact, I can’t even believe I used to have them. They are completely pointless, entirely stupid and absolutely glorious.  Ok FINE, I wish I still talked about this kind of stuff on a daily basis – but things have been a little different in my new post grad life. I never said people don’t fart in meetings rooms, but they aren’t sexy and I won’t tell anyone about it.

I’ve noticed a huge shift in my conversations lately. They’re like, slightly grown up. Flash Notice: I still talk about sex, flatulence, snot and totally gross 5-year-old boy things – just bare with me while I try to sound cool and old. Here are the top five new things I’m chatting about these days (that I’m not quite used to yet): Read More »

The best part of school is not going to school. Or so you thought, back in the days of recess, friendship bracelets and raising your hand to use the bathroom. The stray feigned sick day was enough to hold you over until you hit the real jackpot: summer vacation. Even in high school, when summer meant staying up late to finish that last beer instead of finishing the latest Goosebumps book, June welcomed a much-needed freedom from responsibility.

Come college, however, the best times usually happen during the semesters, not between them. You’ve heard it before — especially if you’re a regular CollegeCandy reader – high school friends tend to drift apart, hometowns suddenly become boring and living with your parents…ick, don’t even get me started. The idea of a blue popsicle and a trip to the local pool sounds borderline painful when you could potentially be at Dollar Beer Night with your campus besties.

And so the concept of summer quickly loses its luster. Facebook newsfeeds are clogged with “Get me back to football season,” “Miss my [insert school name] girls!” and “Counting down to move- in!” sentiments. Because seriously, who wants to be stuck at home with nothing to do but get their nails done and shop and maybe stop by a part-time job a couple times a week and then go back to shopping and free lunches with mom and…. Read More »

I should really be home watching One Tree Hill reruns right now.

Through a lot of self-evaulation these past few months, I’ve decided a lot of things (like hookin’ up) post college are not too diverse from life as a monkey college student.  Basically, I’m still a hot mess that is trying to figure out who I am and what I’m meant to do on this planet (blah, blah, blah).

But through recent experience as a graduate, I’ve found one thing that is completely different from the college world. And when I say different, I’m talking black and white. Hairy and waxed. Sour and sweet. Glass of wine and shots of jag chased with Juicy Juice in your dorm.

Read: Completely different.

That’s why I wanted to take small snippets out of a day in college and a day in the real world and look at them side by side. Because, well, who doesn’t love comparing a day in the real world, with a day in the zoo? Did I say zoo? I meant college. (Side Note: I’m not judging anyone here! Actually, I’m slightly jealous). Read More »

When I look back to being a little tike, I was this needy biznatch with sticky fingers and a demand issue. “Mama, get me my big wheel from the garage, come stick this straw into my Capri Sun, push me on the swing set!”  I didn’t bat an eyelash when I wanted something to be done in my honor.  Life was simple and all about me; I saw what I wanted of my future and demanded I have it right then and there. If a little snot-nosed brat at my daycare gave me the stank eye, I’d give it right back and take a triumphant swig from my sippy cup.

What happened to that relentless passion for demanding what I want?

Nowadays, my mouth is politely sealed. Granted, life has changed since I was riding dirty in my Big Wheel and crapping in my own pants on a normal basis…but why can’t I resort to that unapologetic attitude to get what I want?

Lately, I can’t count all the times I’ve bitten my tongue in a situation. When I was younger and I liked someone, I would blurt it to their face at Sunday school and we’d be dating the next day. Nowadays, I can’t seem to tell anyone how I feel until the very last minute, or when it’s too late. I recently ended up hurting someone because I couldn’t grow the balls to tell them how I truly felt. How did I let it come to that? Where are all these shy and timid feelings coming from? Read More »

I'm a big kid now!

I’ve spent my entire life blaming other things for my misdoings.

I ate your entire loaf of Cottage Bread last night while making toast on the George Foreman?  I blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol.  I cried during every scene of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?  I blame it on my intense emotional monthly girly pains. I was pulled over doing 58 in a 40 on my way home from work?  I blame it on my lead foot and my dire need to catch the last five minutes of Glee.  I got in an argument with my man-friend in front of a breakfast buffet at a hotel downtown at 6:30 a.m…. in front of an innocent family? Totally his fault.

The sad thing about the entire previous paragraph is the fact that all of the things above actually happened to me in the last week. I promise, I’m a grown up graduate!

Anyway, after reading that embarrassing list of faux pas, I’ve reached a revelation in my life: taking responsibility for my actions. I need to stop passing blame on others/alcohol/my emotions and finally take the blame for myself. This seems like a simple philosophy; didn’t I learn that in daycare fifteen years ago when I learned I was falling off the slide because I wasn’t, in fact, Wonderwoman?

The thing is, I’ve finally discovered that responsibility is more than just having it.  While I should be responsible, I need to learn to step forward and take responsibility for things I do. I mean, looking back, my man-friend did not deserve my rapid arm gestures that nearly knocked over the dry croissants at the hotel breakfast buffet the other morning. Read More »

So…big day is almost here.

You ready for the real world?

What are your plans?

If you’re cringing at the very thought of these questions then there’s only one possible explanation: You too are a college senior. You too are caught between college and real life, trying to enjoy the time you have left at college while also trying to make plans for what comes next. You too are frustrated and upset, and unsure. But most importantly you too are badgered daily, no hourly, about all those post college plans. They want to know everything and they want to know it now. But you don’t even know the answers yourself so how can you answer their questions?

Well, lucky for you, I’ve compiled a list of answers for all those pesky questions you’re constantly being bombarded with. They may not be truthful and they may get you a few strange looks but they’ll definitely shut them up.

1. Do you have a job lined up yet?

Currently I’m mulling over a few different offers. MTV wants me on their new reality TV show. But I’m also really tempted by my acceptance to Harvard Law. Then again can Boston compare to that loft they promised me in Manhattan if I went to work for Donald Trump? Eh, maybe I’ll just finally accept Ryan Reynolds’ proposal and spend a few months honeymooning with him. What do you think I should do? Read More »

The word of life the day is: mistake.

I come face to face with mistakes more than I’d like to admit.  In fact, they stalk my life worse than anything DJ Pauly D has ever encountered on The Shore. Today, I made the mistake of eating five chocolate dipped macaroons before going on an impromptu run outside. Let’s just say I haven’t felt a stomach cramp like that since, well, ever. And the other day,  I drank coffee after 3 P.M., unaware that I have the same internal workings as an 80-year-old woman.  I couldn’t fall asleep for days.  Not to mention, I had terrible heartburn.

But my mistakes don’t only involve internal bodily harm. The truth is, lately I’ve been behaving in weird, mysterious and dumb ways. I’ve partied on the occasional weekday. I went running back to a guy that didn’t deserve even the time it takes to bat an eyelash in his direction. I stopped working out because I thought eating less would make me happier.

Mistake, mistake, big (literally) mistake.

And while these self-inflicted issues continue to frolic my way, I always have that small glitter of reassurance. Reassurance in knowing that (even though I’ve learned the hard way), I’ll never do it again.  Hands on experiences and mistakes are always the best, right?  Once I learn the hard way, I learn. I learn to never make the same mistake twice. Right?

Wait, why is no one answering me?
Hello?
Bueller?
Am I right?!

I’m wrong. Read More »