Hey there, hot stuff.

And other facts he shared with Jay Leno.

The 10 most obvious reality show one-liners.

Winehouse hospitalized. Not surprising, really.

Beyonce loves the sequins!

How to rock the oversized flannel.

Ew, Michael Lohan, EW!

The Final 4. Plus two dudes who are lucky to be there.

That’s it. I am d-u-n-z-o with Project Runway. DUNZO! I love me some Heidi Klum and I think Althea is fantastic, but I refuse to support a show that I just can’t connect to anymore. If you haven’t watched this week’s episode (and you still care what is happening in this snoozefest they call Season Six) I would stop reading now. Cuz I’m about to get angry.

Ok, it’s pretty obvious that the girls are running the show this season. The judges got rid of the only guy with talent (Ra’Mon) a long time ago and it’s pretty much been a battle of the ugly for the dudes since then. Everyone knows Althea and (Meana) Irina will be showing a final collection sometime soon.  And the third spot will most likely be goin’ to Carol Hannah (and her annoying nervous laugh).

But the guys. Oy. Let’s break it all down for ya: Read More »

So The Hills was on last night. 22 minutes of bikinis, bitching and Spencer in a cowboy hat. And seriously, that’s about it. While I usually stare at the TV open-mouthed at the absurd drama happening over in Hollywood, last night I just sat there, eyes glazed over with that “Whaaaa?” look you’d expect to find on Caitlin Upton’s face.

I just had so many questions. So instead of breaking down the happenings of The Hills this week (which was: Brody had a birthday, Jayde hates Kristin, JB stood Kristin up, Audrina is going out with a new guy who drives a pick-up and likes Tool), I’m going to focus on getting those questions answered.

Please assist.

Question 1:
Seriously, how is Stacie part of this crew now? Can someone please explain how she went from random bartender macking on Spencer and hated by all to Kristin’s new BFF who sleeps over and drinks Cosmos in the morning?

Question 2:
Hey Kristin, you want some flowers and Japanese symbols tattooed on your lower back to go with those cheesy and lame stars on your foot?

Question 3:
WHAT THE EFF IS UP WITH JUSTIN BOBBY’S STOMACH TATTOO? Read More »

That wheezing sound you hear is the last original idea in Hollywood dying a slow, undignified death. Fox announced a few days ago that it’s developing a TV show based on Texts From Last Night, a website founded a little over six months ago that aggregates embarrassing texts sent in by users (sample: “I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god….damn alcohol”).

After years of airing reality shows that have been progressively more awful, I shouldn’t be surprised that Fox has yet again proven to be the network most willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel. Still, though, I’m amazed that the Hollywood Reporter claims there was “strong interest from several networks” in a TV show based on TFLN. Don’t get me wrong – TFLN is the second best. site. on earth (this is #1), but how exactly do you write a show about funny text messages? How could anybody have thought this would be a good idea? And isn’t there already a show highlighting embarrassing moments of 20-somethings? I think it’s called The Real World.

Maybe Fox is just trying to compete with whichever network ends up with the inevitably terrible Twitter game show, which promises to “harness Twitter to put players on the trail of celebrities in an interactive, competitive format.” Aaron Sorkin, creator of The West Wing, has also announced that he’s working on a feature film about Facebook. Seriously.

After hearing about movies and TV shows based on web sites, the film adaptations of board games like Monopoly, Candy Land, and Ouija Board that are currently in the works sound positively Oscar-worthy by comparison. What’s next, a movie about Netflix? A miniseries about Wikipedia? A weekly series based on FML?

Actually, what am I talking about? I’d totally watch that.

When we heard about the casting call for MTV’s reality show Freshman 15, we might have peed our pants a little. What could be more fun than watching freshman battle the bulge on national television (laughter, tears, and more than one beer and nacho binge guaranteed to ensue)? We are suckers for anything MTV, especially when it includes vulnerable freshies and crack-the-whip personal trainers (do I smell a Dustin Diamond meltdown coming my way?)

Yeah, so there is no doubt I’ll be on my couch with a bag of Doritos on the night of the premiere. Hey I’m going to be eating for fifteen starving freshman now! But despite my excitement, I do have one problem with this new show.

Where the hell was it three years ago? I totally could have used a show like this when I was a freshman, eating my way towards a pair of maternity pants and a premature heart attack. While I spent the summer after my freshman year eating carrot sticks and sweating my ass off on an elliptical, these kids will get free personal training and a good six months of fame out of their newly acquired bulge. Not to mention that the show is a competition, so it will most likely end with some lucky chubster being awarded a prize of some sort.

Being awarded a prize for losing your freshman 15?! All I was left with was a couple stretch marks and the need to suppress a newfound crazing for pizza at all hours of the night. I’ll tell you one thing – these are a lucky bunch of kids.

If you’re a fat college freshman, please allow me to live vicariously through you and apply asap!

As same-sex couples around the country take to the battlefields to fight for their right to marry, American TV is making a mockery of the very thing these couples are wishing for. The collective majority of Americans are against allowing a same-sex couple to enjoy the sanctity of marriage, claiming we should “protect the institution of marriage” and uphold traditional American values. Yet, a new reality show reveals America’s hypocritical nature by turning marriage into a cheap game show.

Hitched or Ditched poses the ultimate ultimatum to a rocky couple: Get married in a week or end it for good. Viewers are drawn to the drama and suspense of whether a couple will say “I do” or be publicly humiliated with rejection. This all or nothing, sh*t-or-get-off-the-pot attitude cheapens the idea of marriage. This show will only reinforce our generation’s cynical attitude that marriages and weddings are nothing more than expensive circuses built around an attention-whoring couple. Something akin to the Speidi extravaganza comes to mind. Read More »

Whenever we need to make a difficult decision, we make a list.

“Gym or TV?”
“Jeans or dress?”
“Save money or buy a new iPhone?”

So when we are constantly faced with the awful decision of which fame whore couple is more fame whorey, we make a list. No, this isn’t Sophie’s choice, but it’s our choice and it’s hard.

Moving on.

This week’s showdown is between two “celebrity” couples that spend their days on the cover of every tabloid on earth. Which couple should have kept the cameras out of their lives? Do we really have to choose?! Read More »

My future is totally effed!

College Life. A show not worth watching. This is fact. I could list off a million better things to do with those 30 minutes. Like listing off a million better things to do with those 30 minutes. Or listing all the reasons why I’m so glad I did not have a camera following me around in college.

Since it takes place at my Alma Mater – University of Wisconsin – I always envision the kind of crazy fun I would have brought to the show if it was around while I was in college. I would have ROCKED the over-priced Juicy Couture socks off that show. (Really, Juicy Couture SOCKS?)

But let’s face it:  had I broadcast those best four years on national television, I would have had a lot of explaining to do to my Grandma. And my dentist. And my mailman. And I probably wouldn’t have a job. And then there is always that chance that an annoying nickname would be made up for me by Perez or some other media blogger. Or that MTV would force me to re-create my fights with those long awkward stares and silences that just make everyone uncomfortable.

So instead of watching College Life (or working out, cooking, doing my laundry, or catching up on my reading), I chose to spend my time making a list of the reasons why I am SO happy that I never had the chance to even consider going on it. Read More »

I watch reality TV like it’s my j-o-b. If there is an unscripted show on TV (or sorta unscripted, a la MTV), I’ll watch it. And DVR it. And talk about it at length with my friends like these people are our friends.

Yes, even “Groomer Has It.” I have a problem.

But would I ever be on a reality show? Hell to the no. As fun as potentially melting down in front of millions of people at home sounds, I’d much rather be the one on my couch – bowl of brownie batter in hand – than the one being cut, manipulated and edited into some freak show for America’s enjoyment. And there are way too many things that I do on a daily basis that I would never (ever, ever, ever) want caught on camera.

Like the fact that I make brownie batter and eat it without cooking it. With my fingers. Or the awful farts I get after eating too much brownie batter. (Seriously, I don’t even want to witness that….it’s really the last thing America needs to watch.)

This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share the things they do that they’d rather not have broadcast nationwide. Their secret alone moments. What are yours? Read More »

Check out Chrysler’s Peapod car!

The French will protest anything!

Relax with some aromatherapy.

Project Runway coming in August!

Are bisexual guys “in” right now?

Justin Timberlake jumps on the reality show bandwagon.