Remember when Girls Gone Wild used to shame party girls across the country who had one too many body shots on Spring Break and had the bad luck to land in front of a camera? Since when has slutty behavior turned into a profitable asset and a celebrity vehicle? Mini Me’s lover is collecting big after a sex tape “somehow” leaked, and now Eliot Spitzer’s ex-whore is getting a REALITY TV SHOW. I can’t believe that we Americans will actually tune in to the lives of nutjobs like the Lohans, the Kardashians, and now, some hooker who happened to win the jackpot.

When Tila Tequila burst on the scene, she had a great gimmick: the first bisexual reality dating show. But after the Bobby Banhart breakup-scandal, and oh-so-predictable opposite-gender-choosing finale in season 2, there’s not much buzz left in Tequilaville. Bring in the hooker! If you thought Tila’s patented, “How will your parents react when they find out I’m bisexual?” act starts to get old, imagine the “How will your parents react when they find out I’m the whore that ruined Eliot Spitzer’s career?” segment.

Yes, Handprint Entertainment, the fine folks who bring the lives of Pamela Anderson and Nicole Ritchie to the small screen, are in talks with MTV to give Ashley Dupre a shot at love. Read More »

Even McTeeny was McDreamy–and he could juggle!

OMG, it’s so annoying when my wedding dress totally rips apart at the altar

Breaking News: The JoBros continue to get hotter

In a related story, Corey Haim continues in the other direction

Ending a relationship is a lot like last call at a bar

What? A reality show that is funny on purpose?

Sex Fact #5: engaging in any non-missionary sexual position is illegal in DC.

Longing for some jazzy, instrumental theme music–oh, and true love?

Zachery Ty Bryan is still alive–and being tasered

This just in: Brody Jenner will be coming out of reality TV semi-retirement and starring in his own MTV series, Bromance. When I first read this news I assumed Jenner dumped his post-Lauren GF and was joining the ranks of Flava Flav, The Bachelor(s) and Tila Tequila in looking for love on TV. (Get it? Brody+Romance=Bromance? Brilliant, really.) Then I realized that I must be getting old/un-cool, because it seems that bromance is totes a word!

For real… it is in the Urban Dictionary!

Bromance: Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.

Brody’s obvious bromantic partner has to be Frankie; those two are inseparable. But, there is talk on the street that Brody’s partner in crime may actually be…wait for it…SPENCER PRATT. I know, I thought they broke up, too, but apparently Spencer has been calling Brody non-stop for awhile now (perhaps because he knew Bromance was in the works and he, I don’t know, needs a job of some sort?).

I am bothered by this for many reasons: Read More »

Again, I saw the end well before I saw the beginning.

It’s a brand new day in the house and Hotlanta gets a call telling her that she’s going to be evicted. Dude, pay your rent – don’t use the cash to go on a reality show.

The challenge for this episode is ridiculous – like more so than usual. Flav wants to get married one day and he’s going to see if any of these girls are marriage material. Three teams of – I don’t know what they are doing. One’s a bride, another is a maid of honor and another writes an objection for another team. Why?

Hotlanta drinks to prep, as would I. Who donated the gowns for this mess?

Flav looks as bizarre as one would expect him to look for his own wedding. Tree objects to Black’s marriage to Flav in the most insane dramatical manner. Total man.

Hotlanta gets married while drunk. Sinceer objects and then there’s a commercial break.

And I missed stuff because I switched to MTV and found a “True Life” about a kid who wants to be a tap dancer – when I switched back, I missed the objection and Thing 2 is marrying Flav. Proto-type objects saying that Thing 2 didn’t know that his real name is William Drayton. Seriously? Read More »

Natalie Portman is dating the Bearded Lady

Harry Potter’s “hairy potter” is coming to Broadway!

Whateva… I love me some Jason Castro

It’s 2008: even a computer will reject you

How to get rid of a one night stand

As a graduation present, I want to visit SPACE!

Why wouldn‘t MTV make a reality show about high school newspapers?

50 greatest comedy sketches of all time

I’m feeling pretty good about society

Looking for a new diet?

The ever reliable Page Six is reporting that MTV’s own rampant bi-sexual is not as fickle as the public is led to believe.

So, Tila Tequila isn’t bi? You mean, her entire existence is a total sham? There’s no way the most popular girl on MySpace would ever try to sell herself further for essentially doing nothing! No! It can’t be! Tila is a completely legitimate woman/pop singer/MySpace celebrity, right?

Sure she is! She’s as classy as a queen. Need proof? Check out the evidence: Read More »

You remember the drama. Would Jeffery be able to compete in the finale? Did he really get help on his clothes? Did he tattoo “Detroit” on his neck because of the fact that he’s from Detroit, or was he just proud that he named his son after a city that Eminem made so famous? Was Uli’s accent fake? Could she design anything that didn’t belong on a Caribbean vacation?!While I may have been nervous about crappy reality TV because of the recent writers strike, Bravo couldn’t have planned more perfect timing for my favorite reality show ever. It’s BOMB of a show, Top Design (talk about over-hyped and under delivered) left me begging for another season of Heidi and Tim.

And now, it’s back for a 4th season! Read More »

While it seems that everyone is getting tired of American Idol (including myself—thank God it’s almost over), no one seems to get bored with Paula Abdul doing stupid stuff. Which is good because—let’s face it—everything she does is a little silly.

In latest Paula news, she has tripped “trying to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua” and broken her nose. It’s a fairly plausible story. Except that we all know Paula has a lot more than Coke in those big glasses on the judges table. I used to fall over a lot, I’m not gonna lie. And I used to blame my shoes, or all those damn cobblestones in Paris (seriously, they’re perilous), but in truth it was the mass quantity of whiskey I had consumed. I don’t drink whiskey anymore cause it makes me a little crazy. And I have managed to stay on my feet better. So… I think Paula took a drunken nose dive, and is thanking God she has a dog to blame.

If you need even more confirmation that Ms. Abdul likes to wet her palette, check out this clip. Read More »