Surprise, surprise: Thursday’s season five premiere of Jersey Shore collected a million viewers less than the first episode of last season, when the cast was in Italy. Some people argue that they’re sick of watching these same eight people, I argue that there’s too many extraneous characters to keep track of, especially if you’ve just tuned in…seriously, everyone looks incredibly similar!

Don’t worry, this will clear everything up. Meet all the extra people that keep stealing the airtime away from Sammi Sweetheart, The Situation, Snooki and the rest of the original cast. Once viewers are all up to speed, these guidettes and gorillas will remain on the air as long as the Kardashians do!

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I’ll admit it: I’m an addict. It’s a horrible habit that, after so many years, I just can’t kick. It’s available, it’s affordable and, hey, it makes me feel good about myself. And even though it’s probably damaging for me in the long run, I just can’t stop.

Yeah, I’m a consumer of the Kardashian culture. I watch the shows (the originals, the spin-offs and Dancing With The Stars when one is competing), I read the interviews, I follow the obnoxious tweets. And recently, people like Daniel Craig, Jonah Hill and Barbara Walters are calling me out on my fascination with the most overexposed and yet untalented people on television, the Kardashians. Read More »

Every Tuesday night – rain or snow, hell or hangover – I grab my things and walk over to my best friend’s house. Immediately upon arrival, I grab the ice cream sundae she’s expertly prepared and curl up under my favorite blanket on her couch. She hits play on her DVR and our (four years running!) Biggest Loser date night begins.
OK, so the ice cream sundae is a little counterintuitive, but it’s tradition. And we use low fat ice cream. And try as we might, we just can’t get enough.

Just like we can’t get enough of this show. It’s got all the makings of a great reality show (the characters, the challenges, the dramatic music, the alliances) paired with the happy ending of a Disney movie (and sexy bodies of a GQ shoot). And who can ignore all those tear jerking moments or the always-exciting Makeover Week?
The Biggest Loser to us is what football is to our guy friends.

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Reality television has created some interesting characters the last few years. And by “interesting” I mean “people I want to punch in the face.” Celebrities like Speidi and the Karadashian crew have infiltrated all corners of Hollywood and for what? Big booties and bushy beards? Embarrassing baby daddy’s and even more embarrassing “albums”?

Thanks but no thanks, reality TV.

We love to hate on these D-List losers (it’s my favorite pastime after day drinking and watching the shows that make them famous), but the reality of the reality TV situation is that there really are some hidden gems out there. Awesome characters whose careers have been tainted by their moronic, fame-seeking peers. These 6 reality stars have been overshadowed for far too long and I’ve had enough.

It’s time for some new reality stars.
You listening, Bravo? Read More »

Let me start by saying, The Bachelor Pad is my new favorite show on television.  If you watched the premiere last night, you know what I’m talking about.  It’s like The Bachelor on steroids – more drama, more hook-ups, more booze…basically amazing.

I was barely absorbing one of Elizabeth’s crazy threats before she was off and dishing out another.  My eyes couldn’t get enough of Jesse B.’s gorgeous bod.  Was Weatherman actually funny on a few occasions!?  I love it all!

While I’m still processing most of the finer plot points (and accepting Chris Harrison’s new casual attire), I’ve selected my favorite, most anticipated duos of the season:

Kiptyn and Tenley
We already know it’s going to happen, but come on – are they not the most family friendly couple of all time?  He’s a serial volunteer and she’s a real-life, rainbow-sh*tting Disney character.  I’m dying to see if these two progress beyond G-Rated hand holding.

Weatherman and Craig
Will these two ever kiss and make up?  Craig pretty much proved that he’s even more insecure and awkward than his cumulus cloud-loving counterpart.  Something makes me think that Weatherman is going into this show having an upper hand with the ladies.  Maybe he’ll finally get his first kiss!

Craig and Elizabeth
Elizabeth just wants Craig to guard and protect her heart win her over.  I’m placing my bet right now for the most over-used phrase of the season.  So long as Crazy Elizabeth and Craig are both on the show, she’ll be begging him to win her sorry butt over.  She’s a total nutcase! Read More »

Reality shows: you either love ‘em or hate ‘em. Personally, I never liked “reality” television, and this summer’s lineup of shows gives me even more of a reason to stay away. The networks really seem to be scraping the bottom of the barrel with some of this stuff. Here’s just a handful of the trainwreck reality shows that will be gracing our TVs this season:

The Great American Road Trip
NBC, Mondays at 8/7c
What happens when you pit seven families representing different regional stereotypes against each other in a race for $100,000? The Great American Road Trip. Only there’s nothing great about it. In fact, it’s rather hard to watch. In the first episode, the families competed in an “end of the road” challenge in which they had to roll a Zorb containing one of their family members through an obstacle course. I felt so bad for the poor kids who were stuck rolling around in the giant Zorbs…although I couldn’t stop laughing through the whole thing! Does that make me a bad person? Read More »

I have a terrible love for reality television… but for some reason, Bravo’s is the best. Naturally Project Runway would be the initial draw, but after wasting many a weekend and weeknight hour in front of my TV, I’ve compiled a list of other reasons to tune in. Plus the fact that Heidi Klum is too much pretty contained in one person tends to depress me. In no particular order, here are some favorites:

Shear Genius–Former Charlie’s Angel Jaclyn Smith is the host of this competition among hairstylists. Would’ve been much more fitting with Farrah, you know, the one with the memorable hair, but apparently she’s booked or something. Anyway, the show’s ADDICTIVE. Thing marathon-worthy. The stylists are all fabulous in their own way, and their cattiness is delicious to watch. Some of the endearing ones are great though as well, you have to have an underdog to root for. They do haircuts in random locations, have awesome guests like ohhh I don’t know, Oscar Blandi? Who maybe I would kill to have ever touch my hair? Yeah. Him. Anyway, it’s fabulous and will inspire greatness.

Million Dollar Listing–Real estate actually got interesting. This season we’ve got three of the younger, most successful young men in the biz out in LA, which I ordinarily hate on principle as a New Yorker in training. But damn. The upcoming season preview got me all sorts of excited… one of these agents is 21 and sold $80 million in real estate last year. Even if his commision is only 5%, which you KNOW it’s a hell of a lot more than that…. Damn. Makes me want to change career paths… and buy a house. On the ocean. Read More »

So another Miss America pageant has come and gone without anyone really noticing.

Maybe it’s because we have other fantastic outlets to judge people, such as, say, Rock of Love, I Love New York, and the classic and oh-so-classy Flavor of Love (I’m detecting a “love” theme here, VH1).

Unpredictability is what sells, any idiot can see that. So in order to boost ratings, TLC made its own reality show about this year’s Miss America contestents, Miss America: Reality Check, which shows us that shockingly, some of these girls aren’t so bright.

I mean, that’s surprising, right? A not smart hot girl. Wow. And isn’t it just a little humorous that they can’t even bother to be creative with a title to try and pull viewers?

Reality Check is a little too formulaic for the typical American audience. We get it already. 50 Barbies prance around in eveningwear and bikinis, trying to show us that their baton-twirling or vocal stylings can change the world. They get narrowed down, the 4 prettiest, blondest Southern girls stay on and Texas always wins. Those of us who live in the North ponder what our lives could have been had we been born to drawl and drink sweet tea, and then quickly remember that it’s kind of like a foreign country and snap out of it.

This year’s winner was Miss Michigan, Kristen Haglund. That’s really the only thing I heard and remotely cared about. Finally, some good representation from the mitten… or is it? Read More »

A recent New York Times article discussed research that has become quite the topic of conversation among psychologists in recent years: narcissism among young adults.

Apparently, our generation is all about the “I Love Me.”

According to the people behind the research, today’s 18-25 year olds are more narcissistic than any previous generation: “Today’s young people — schooled in the church of self-esteem, vying for spots on reality television, promoting themselves on YouTube — are more narcissistic than their predecessors.”

I find this completely unfair. Just because I can’t walk by a mirror without looking at my reflection does not make me a narcissist. Just because I look at myself first…and last…every time I look at a picture does not make me a narcissist. And just because I think I am hilarious and talented and write a blog that I expect everyone to adore doesn’t make me a narcissist.

Ok. Maybe I do think about myself quite a bit.

But it’s not my fault that I was raised in a generation in which parents told children they could do anything, be anything, and they should never doubt themselves. We have been told our whole lives that anything is attainable and, more recently, that nothing is sexier on a woman than confidence. How, then, can I now be blamed for being confident? Read More »

The tensions are as high as their heels this week, with four models left competing for the title of America’s Next Top Model.

The girls arrive home to find a note from Tyra telling them that she is sending them to “the great mall of China.” C’mon, that’s pretty clever!

The girls head to the mall in the morning in search of an outfit to recreate the look of one of the four beauties they heard stories about—and this is where some eyebrow-raising model sabotage begins. After wasting time wandering off on the other side of the mall, Bianca runs into Jenah—and gleefully tells her that she just has to check out that area, knowing full well she won’t find much.

Jenah gets back in time to show off her outfit in a casual runway show and gets her sweet revenge by winning the challenge. In addition to getting a dress made especially for her and a friend (Chantal), she also gets one-on-one runway lessons from Miss Jay. We’ll see how those help her if she makes it to the final two!

The next morning, the models head to the Great Wall to be made over into warriors. And their photographer is, drumroll please—Tyra! Is there anything she can’t do? (Oh right: sing, act, make music videos…) Both Chantal and Jenah do well, though Tyra takes issue with Jenah not knowing who she is. “She’s a good model, but who is she?” asks Tyra.

Right, let’s pretend this is a soul searching competition. It’s barely even a modeling competition! Read More »