What is the deal with bar-linger-ers? You know who I am talking about- those inconsiderate jackasses that absolutely refuse to vacate the bar area once they’ve been served- leaving you with no other option but to hoover over the service bar, only to be growled at by the pissed-off waitress picking up her order. How long could it possibly take to get a f@*%ing drink?
I have absolutely no patience when it comes to my drinking time. Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got me some drinkin’ to do.
Fortunately for you and me, I came across some very useful tips @ wikihow.com – that are certain to make your drink ordering experience much more pleasureable. Take a look.
1 Get to the bar. In a heaving sweaty crowd that is three or four people deep, the critical thing is to seize any opening, no matter how small, and claim it as your own. It’s a three step procedure:
* Snake your hand through the heaving throng until it touches wood. Getting your hand on the bar top is like staking a flag in the ground. Once you’ve done it the territory is yours.
* Draw your body in at right angles to the bar, through any space that opens up.
* As soon as someone moves away, turn your body flush with the bar, with both hands planted on the woodwork. You are now in the pole position.
2 Get noticed. You need to catch the nearest barkeep’s eye as soon as possible. Use everything at your disposal to make an impression. Smile, look approachable and keep your impatience to yourself. It may also be possible to “catch the bartender’s eye” with money (see Tips). Follow the barkeep’s actions closely till you catch his eye.
3 Watch for the critical moment. After he has given change to the person he’s just served, the barkeep’s eyes will flick up briefly looking for the next customer. If he looks at you immediately start saying your order.
4 Make your move. Raise your hand, open your mouth slightly and lean forward a touch. The millisecond the barkeep glances at you, call out your order in a loud, clear voice. Say you’re ordering four drinks. Hold up four fingers or say “I’ll need four…” and then name them all.
5 Tip generously. If you are planning a whole night’s drinking, smart tipping will ensure prompt service on future orders.
Imagine a day without a bumbling Britney headline. Sounds like a bit of heaven, amiright? Well today is not that day I am sad to say. As I was scanning the web this morning for a juicy little nugget -0-info, I came across a pretty good argument on bumpshack.com that the recent rebellious rehab-er’s plunge from grace all began with a little kiss. Have a looksee.
Cheating on your boyfriend with his best friend and the secret has your stomach gurgling-a-fire? Or better yet, do you just get off on listening to other people’s closet-ed stories of deception? Well then Girl, do I have a website for you.
PostSecret.blogspot.com is the most brilliant site I have ever seen, EVER! Here’s the premise:
A bunch of average nobodies anonymously write their own secrets down on a postcard and mail them to a blogsite to post. That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less. Just secret after secret. Lie after lie. It is absolutely gorgeous. Really.
Yeah, yeah, I know you must think I am an incredibly shallow and morbid person- And maybe your right, but it takes one to know one, and I guarantee once you go there, you will be there for a while.
As graduation time for many college seniors is looming in the distance, it’s important to remember the wise words of those that have gone before us.The most entertaining and witty of those was a 1997 column in the Chicago Tribune that was published as the author’s own version of a commencement address. It skips all of the b.s. of typical speeches and details why we should simply enjoy our lives right now! The column became famous and I always read it when I need a little boost. Just a little taste…
“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s…
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.”
Lately there have been numerous articles exclaming that college students are upping the frequency with which we booze or shoot it up. I know, this seriously is no laughing matter because some of us are even seeing a difference in our peers behavior. I can’t say I’ve noticed more people being sent to the hospital for alcohol poisoning or drug overdoses. But a few students at NYU are saying they’ve met more people that have been sent to the emergency room for an alcohol-related issue than they’ve ever experienced back at home. This is no bueno.
Our elders are now fearing that if we continue to increase our binge drinking episodes, we’ll all wind up alcoholics. Scary fact: “Today a quarter of college students meet the medical criteria for drug and alcohol abuse or addiction compared to 8.5 or the rest of the population,” says Joseph Califano, former US Secretary of Health, Welfare and Education.
Substance abuse on college campuses? Not much of a newsflash.
I am guilty of drinking beer and partying with my friends. And yes, maybe a few nights I turned upside down and did an extra keg stand or two, but I do know my limit.
Apparently, I am in the minority. According to a new report by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, college students are binge drinking a lot more and abusing perscription drugs, like Ritalin, Adderall and OxyContin.
The report also argues substance abuse isn’t a rite of passage for college students, and calls on educators to take bolder stands against students and alumni to fight this problem. I have to disagree. Unfortunately getting drunk, as “risky” as it is, will always be part of college life. And the more the “man” tries to crack down on it, the more we’re likely to act against authority. It’s okay with me if they try to nip the drug usage in the bud – I’m not into that stuff. But the try to regulate partying will ruin all that is college … partying. Don’t they want us to have fun?
What is the deal with bar-linger-ers? You know who I am talking about- those inconsiderate jackasses that absolutely refuse to vacate the bar area once they’ve been served- leaving you with no other option but to hoover over the service bar, only to be growled at by the pissed-off waitress picking up her order. How long could it possibly take to get a f@*%ing drink?
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