Far too often while dating in college we mistake little quirky qualities and pet peeves as things we can simply overlook. Perhaps we have, in the backs of our minds, the notion that dating in college these days is so non-traditional that our dating criteria can also be non-traditional. I can assure you: this is NOT the case. As we all know by now, communication is key to both progress and success, so talking about these things now will only help better your relationship in the long run. But what about those things that we don’t see? The tell-tale signs that your relationship is taking a turn for the worse, that for some reason you haven’t seemed to notice? We like to call these “red flags,” and apparently we’re pretty good at ignoring them when we don’t want to admit to the reality of things: the guy we’re dating is a complete douche and it’s time to give him the boot. To save you all the trouble (and potential heartache), I present to you the 10 red flags we tend to ignore most… Read More »

[The following post was written by dating coach, Kira Sabin, a keg of dating and relationship wisdom. She's been helping people find love for years so we thought we'd tap this keg and see what sort of brilliant advice she has for the CollegeCandy readers. Drink up, ladies.]

Have you ever met someone and wished you had a crystal ball to see into the future? Would there be a date?  Would he like your friends?   Would your parents like him?  Could a relationship form?  Does he have the potential to be “the one”?

“Love is blind” is a quote I believe in whole-heartedly, but in a little different way than most.  I find most people blindly look for love hoping to “bump” into the right person.  They look for the connection and attraction.  That’s all fine and good, but it’s not the stuff healthy relationships are made of.

It is great if you have chemistry and both of you like Lost, but if you aren’t aware of the all the other important stuff – core values, communication, deal breakers – you are probably going to wake up one day and realize you wasted your time.

I am not the dating fairy who can sprinkle magic dust and show you five, ten, or 15 years down the line.  But, by keeping your eyes open, you’d be surprised how much you can really learn about a person without spending the next six months wading around in a questionable relationship.

In fact, with a little know-how, you can learn a lot in the first 30 minutes.
Here are red flags you can watch for when you meet someone to realize if the have real dating potential. Read More »

Stay away. Stay far, far away.

Making your way through the landmine that is the world of college dating is tricky. You have to make sure to bypass the clingy, the crazy and the man-whores before you can settle down in a safe zone. But just like my favorite computer procrastination game, Minesweeper, there are red flags that you have to pay heed to, lest you detonate a mine, or a relationship gone sour.

Red Flag #5: His idea of a date is using a meal swipe on you at the dining hall. I see a long line of Denny’s dates in your future.

Red Flag #4: You finally get invited to spend the night in his dorm room. But upon arriving you notice his collection of navel fluff in jars lining his book shelves. If the guy is collecting his own belly button lint, chances are you were going to wake up later that night and find him finger-diving for yours.

Red Flag #3: The only time he ever calls you is to ask if you’ve filled your Adderall prescription. Your doctor-diagnosed disease has turned you into his and his friends personal drug-dealer come exam time. You have to ask yourself, does he love you or your ADD?

Red Flag #2: We all want our roommates to like our boyfriends. It makes it easier to sexile them come the weekend. But if you find him spending more time with her than with you, don’t ignore this red flag. Unless you’re interested in a threesome, don’t be surprised if you wake up and he’s spooning your roomie instead of you. Read More »

It was cold out. There was nothing on TV. I was PMSing. And, yes, I cried multiple times while watching How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days on DVD.

I don’t know if it was my tumultuous history with men that got me so emotional, or simply the pain of knowing that Matthew McConaughey will never be mine, but that movie gets me every time. And while I know that Kate Hudson’s character goes way over the top to push her man away, I really couldn’t stop wondering what kinds of things really send dudes running for the hills.

It is obvious I am doing something wrong – guys have been running away from me since we started playing playground tag in middle school. And now the game has long since been over, but I still can’t hold a man down…without the aid of handcuffs. But, let’s be real, that’s a whole different conversation.

I couldn’t stand the thought of sitting home alone with a chick flick for one more night so I turned to a guy to give me the answers: just what are ladies doing to send the boys packing? Read More »

Ah, love. It sweeps through you with undeniable force, filling you alternately with euphoria and dread, making it impossible to concentrate, hold a conversation, or think of anything other than your glorious union with that dude you’ve been boning for the last week and a half. Basically, love is Alzheimer’s.

It provides all the benefits of early-onset dementia (mood swings! personality changes! lack of judgment!) while simultaneously allowing you to spend time with someone you may not recognize a few months from now.

As time passes, your crush will inevitably fade. You’ll stop idealizing your partner and start thinking of him as a person who has some flaws. If he’s basically a good guy, this is a positive development, one more step along the road to Creating a Healthy Relationship with Realistic blah blah Boundaries blah blah Suburbs blah Kids. But if he’s a freak… Read More »