When making my decision between drinking a glass of red or white wine, I usually pick vodka. But sometimes that is simply not an option. So my thought process usually goes something like this:

Who doesn’t drink a glass of ice-cold vodka at dinner time? Strange. Wine it is then. But the only people who drink white wine are those trashy housewives in Atlanta and Kirsten from the O.C. We all remember those infamous words before she sent herself off to rehab, “I may like my Chardonnay, but I won’t end up alone! And that’s more than I can say for you!” Wow, that was a train wreck. Better opt for a glass of red. But I’m trying to meet some boys tonight and I don’t think purple teeth are going to work to my advantage. Plus, I’m trying to maintain a glowing smile so I can one day become rich and famous for my million-dollar smile. So I better stick to white wine.

That entire inner monologue could have been avoided had I know this fun fact: White wine is actually worse for your teeth than red.  White wine is high in acid, and that can wear away tooth enamel and intensify the stains left by the double espresso you slammed at the library the night before.

Ub40 was so, so right: Red red wine, you make me (and my teeth) feel so fine. You keep me rocking all of the time….

So for all of you winos who drink soda through a straw and religiously brush your teeth before and after every meal, your best bet is to skip the 2-Buck-Chuck Sauvignon Blanc and order a bottle of red. Or just chug some Listerine. That should do the trick.

If you don’t have a slow cooker, I seriously recommend leaving the room this instant and going directly to a place where you can buy one. They’re inexpensive and they will save you loads of time on busy days (or any kind of days, really). Unbelievably amazing casseroles, soups, stews, and meat so tender that it falls off the bone all become everyday realities with the help of your friend the slow cooker. I have even heard about slow cookers making fantastic cobblers and cookies.

Moving on from the sales pitch, let’s get back to the coq au vin. To make enough for you and your special beau, you need:

• 4 chicken thighs

• 4-5 pieces of bacon

• 1 small onion

• 1 garlic clove

• 8 oz white or baby bella mushrooms (one non-huge package of mushrooms)

• 1 tsp rosemary (if using fresh, which is best, use 2 tsp)

• 1 tsp thyme (ditto as the rosemary)

• 1 bay leaf

• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter

• ½ to ¾ bottle dry red wine

The prep takes about 15 minutes, and here’s what you need to do.

First, fry the bacon in a pan until it’s crisp. Take it out and let it dry on paper towels, but leave the grease in the pan. Brown the chicken thighs in the same pan until they have a nice golden color on both sides. Remove the chicken thighs and set them aside.

Slice up the onion and garlic clove, and slice the mushrooms into halves. Still in the same pan, sauté the onion and garlic until translucent and just beginning to brown. If you need more oil, add a little olive oil. When the onion becomes translucent, add the mushroom pieces. Stir them until they release their liquids and also start to brown a little.

Now for the fun part: your prep is done, and you get to dump everything in the slow cooker. Break the bacon into small pieces and put it in there. Add the chicken thighs, the onion, the garlic, the mushrooms, the spices and bay leaf, the butter, and the red wine (basically, everything).

Then follow the directions for your slow cooker. Most are similar—if you want to eat in 6-8 hours, set the heat on low. If you want to eat in 3-4 hours, set it on high.

You may need to check it periodically to make sure that it hasn’t boiled away all the liquid (if so, add more wine), but slow cookers are pretty self-sufficient.

You won’t believe the amazing smell when it’s finally done… the only thing better is the taste!

[Photo courtesy of Flickr.com]

You’ll need:

* 2 bottles of red wine (750ml)

* 1/2 cup Triple Sec

* 1/4 cup tequila

* 1/4 cup sweet vermouth

* 1/4 cup fresh lime juice

* Lemons, limes and oranges (sliced)

* Sugar to taste

* 2 cups Sprite or 7up

*And a punch bowl or pitcher to mix them in

Mix your wine, Triple Sec, tequila, sweet vermouth, and lime juice in your container of choice. Add sliced fruit and refrigerate for a few hours, just so your alcohol picks up the fruit flavors and vice-versa.

You don’t want your sangria to be all fruit, but the more you add, the more flavor will be picked up. If you’re feeling creative, you can add slices of apple and grapes to the concoction as well.

After your mixture’s thoroughly chilled, add your Sprite/7up and sugar to taste. Serve over ice and you’re ready for one cool evening… or afternoon. It’s always five o’ clock somewhere, right?

If you want to make this part of a perfect theme party, make some guacamole and bust out the tortilla chips. Or even make it part of a dinner party and keep it light with taco salad.

Do you pick out the perfect bottle to have with dinner by closing your eyes and randomly grabbing one? When someone says, “This malbec has a rich palate, but is a bit short on the finish,” do you just smile, nod, and agree? I thought so. It sounds like you need to meet Jon and Ted, the two guys behind 2 Guys Uncorked.

I mean, you already know one thing: wine is good. So, why not learn a few more things about it, so you can sound smart and enjoy wine even more than you already do (um, or maybe that’s not a good thing?). 2 Guys Uncorked review wine, but they do it in a fun, youthful way. They’re not pretentious, they don’t use words you can’t understand, and they actually review wine you can find.

In fact, all of the wines they review can be bought in either Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods. Oh, and they’re also affordable. You won’t find any $200 bottles of wine on their site because most of the wines they review are in the price range of $3.50-$20. Anyone who reviews a $3.50 bottle of wine is OK in my book.

With an easy-to-use website, you can browse their reviews or search for specific wines. And if you have no idea what you want, you can just tell the wine guys your occasion. Use the pull-down menu to let the guys know you want a wine that is good for anything from “weekend fun” to “celebrating” to something for “making a good impression.”

If you still feel like wine reviews are over your head, you can simply pay attention to the guys final verdicts: “buy,” “don’t buy,” “best buy,” or “well priced.” After all Jon and Ted believe “people want to drink wine, not read about it.” True that, guys.

Before long, 2 Guys Uncorked will be your go-to whenever you’re planning a dinner or an event. And instead of saying “Um, I like white wine,” you’ll soon be gushing, “Oh my God, the Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc tastes just like ripe pineapple and is sooo good with caesar salad. But the other night, I drank a bottle with my roommate and it was great on its own too!”

Now that’s something we can all understand.

Click on a cocktail to see what secrets your favorite beverage reveals about your inner self.

                beer                          martini                          scotch                            red wine

                 lemon drop               champagne                  cosmo                             rum and coke