Finally, a headline we’ve been waiting for since 2003: Vanessa Bryant has filed for divorce from Kobe Bryant! Like countless other celebrity/California divorces, she cited “irreconcilable differences.” Also known as “you cheated on me one too many times, so I stayed with you through all your court trials and championships so that I could get my half of it all in 2011.” Yep, the Laker who plays for $25 million per year (and counting) did not have a freakin’ prenup. Maybe that’s not something you really think about when you get engaged six months after meeting on a music video shoot.

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Have you ever been stuck in a funk that, even though your friends are concerned and your finals are creeping up, you really just don’t want to get out of it just yet? Like you just want to crawl into your Snuggie with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and while listening to a song that articulates your inexpressible feelings so perfectly?

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Katy Perry previews her new music video.

Emma Stone has found the most f**king perfect guy.

Kim K returns to LA, chaos ensures.

3 signs you need to walk away from him.

Can’t get enough Parks and Rec? Watch spinoff episodes here!

Mariah Yeater revealed.

This new sex toy for men looks horrifying.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley covers German Vogue.

Katherine Heigl rocks some budget fashion.

Advice can often be a tricky thing. You want to listen to your mother when she tells you pleat-front khakis are becoming of a young lady. You want to listen to your best friend when she tells you you should definitely text your crush again because, like, maybe the last one didn’t go through. You want to listen to your older sister when she tells you not to mix Malibu, Natty Ice and 2 a.m. leftover pizza.

Like I said. You want to. But should you? Well, probably in the case of your dear ol’ sis. But pleat front khakis? Unacceptable!

And when it comes to matters of the heart…that sh*t cray! But one Hollywood celeb dishes out her words of wisdom, and you know what? She pretty much hits the nail on the head.

Lesson 41 – Don’t Ask For Advice You Don’t Intend On Taking

There you are, shaking your head again, because somehow (perhaps under the influence of a little Grey Goose and Sarah Dessen) you’ve wandered into dangerous territory yet again. So you fell in love with a fool. Who hasn’t? And it seems that every time you’re left to your own devices, you wake up covered in his sheets and your own shame. And even though you refer to him as a soul-sucking douchebag void of emotion, he’s always been your soul-sucking douchebag void of emotion. But just because he’s a fool doesn’t mean you have to be one too.

The way I see it is that if you’re going to go out of your way to beg your friends for advice on how to fall out of love with a man who clearly has no regard for your feelings, than you need to go out of your way to at least try and take their advice. So many times I’ve given my closest girlfriends pep talks that they’ve requested, to deter them from their loser ex-boyfriends, and so many times it’s like they haven’t listened at all as they race back to him and the bedding his mother probably purchased for him. If you have no intention of taking your friend’s advice, especially after you practically begged for it, then please do them a favor and stop asking for it. Read More »

Every girl deals with heartbreak differently. Some prefer mourning the relationship by staying in and watching The Notebook and others prefer going all out and celebrating their newly single status with shots of tequila and a Rihanna dance party. Though there’s no one right path to overcoming the first pangs of heartbreak and its inevitable aftershock, but I can tell you what I’ve done in the past to get past heartbreak and its annoying friend, pain.

Lesson 37: Tricks of the trade when it comes to breakup heartbreak.

Closure can be treacherous territory. My go-to advice for my girlfriends and for myself is to create your own closure. Too many times I watch my friends go into post-breakup coffees and lunches with guys, using the veil of closure as a chance to talk things out and get back together. Closure is one of those great concepts in theory but not so much in practice because it’s so subjective. What seems like closure to one person could become a quest for more answers for another person. You have to ask yourself if you really want to know the reasons somebody didn’t want to be with you and if so, you need to be prepared for the feelings that could come with that. Read More »

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have been in a long distance (400 miles) relationship for almost 3 years, as you can imagine, everthing started off all pretty and perfect but a lot has changed over these years.

My boyfriend is the ‘Mummy’s boy’ type – the type that will start an argument if he doesn’t get his own way. It all started in Fall 2009 – things hadn’t been great between us, he broke up with me when I was on an important placement, then a week later started a relationship with a girl from his school (I had always suspected he was starting to like her.)

I tried to cut him out of my life – delete number, email, Facebook, blah blah blah. But he kept contacting me saying that he still loved me and regretted breaking up with me. In November 2009 we got back together, and everything was blissful again… or so I thought. He had told me that he regretted breaking up with me/didn’t know why he done it and that it was a rebound. The girl he broke up with me for told me that my boyfriend was sneaky and a liar (at first I didn’t believe it, but now I am starting to wonder whether she was right.) Read More »

Happy July from Cosmo, er’body! To kick off the month, Cosmo had a fabulous tongue twister for me even before I could spread open the pages (hehe, Cosmo makes me feel so dirty). The first article title that popped by my hazy head on the cover was, ‘Your Breast Myths Busted.’ Whew, say that five times fast. Or six, if you’re extra ballsy. Trust me, you will have an insta-lisp.

After admiring Rihanna’s uncanny ability to show off (an un-flattering for everyone else) upper mid-drift, I learned something new in the ‘101 Things About Men’ section. Apparently, his anogenital length (that’s right, the distance between his poop-hole and his genitals) determines his fertility. If it’s longer than two inches – the more likely you’ll end up with a bun in your oven. The longer, the better people. Pull out that ATM card, ladies, and measure up! So that’s what those 16 & Pregnant girls are doing these days…

Anyhooker, I also learned that men crave the tender love and sex in the month of July. Why, you ask? Contrary to my popular belief, not because it’s my birthday month. Apparently come July – men become sluggish and slightly depressed. Really!? Is that the excuse we’re using nowadays? Yea, I get sluggish too – and my hair frizzes out to Texas. GIVE ME A HUG.

When I finally turned the page after staring at Justin Bieber’s new ad for perfume (which apparently makes people float and loudly sniff necks and breath),  I came across an article called ‘Talking So He Will Listen.’ I have my own ideas for talking so he’ll listen (like while wearing a loin cloth or absentmindedly touching your boobs) but surprisingly, Cosmo had other ideas. Like, the simple things: assuming you share a brain, ignoring your body, speaking in code and essentially having an out of body experience whenever you converse with your man.

Later, an article had a body-language expert ruin six relationships as she analyzed pictures couples sent in (ones the couples were proud of) to see if they were going to last. In one photo she described the couple’s body language by saying, “She stands in front of him, demonstrating she likes to be the center of attention. There is definite tension here.” BOOM, relationship doubt, planted into the innocent minds of the couple together for five years.

That brings us to the article that get’s our popcorn poppin’ in bed, my favorite sexy-time nugget of glory: ‘The Sexiest Spots to Touch Him During Sex.” Because the spots you already touch him are…not sexy enough. I really hope Cosmo finds a cool way to incorporate erotic nostril touching into this…

Cosmo Says: Think of the base of his penis like your pubic mound.
Brittany Says: Woah. Woah. Woah. Wordage, Cosmo. WORDAGE. Pubic mound? This isn’t a construction zone.

Cosmo Says: Dart your tongue in and out like a snake, flicking it quickly. The fast movements will get him super hyped.
Brittany Says: And it will get YOU super hyped, too. Also, maybe if you do it fast enough you can start to smell things with your taste buds? Kind of like a rattle snake. Oh, how cool! I taste smells!

Cosmo Says: Press your lips together like you’re about to plant one on him, then place them directly over his P-spot and suck.
Brittany Says: First of all, how old are we? P-spot sounds like a naughty place in kindergarten you couldn’t go, or touch. Second of all, if this it the p-spot I’m thinking about, who wants to go anywhere near that with the same kissy face you come at your mother with? Muah!

Cosmo Says: Hand over your Cosmo with a flirty smile asking him to pinpoint the tips that sound fun. You’ll be able to see the kinds of touches he prefers.
Brittany Says: You’ll also find out if you guys should be together forever, or one more minute, “Hey honey, suck on my p-spot like Nemo.”

We’re done.

Question?! Answer: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Goddess of Wisdom, Guardian of Common Sense, Destroyer of BullS***, Tuffy,

Recently my fiance dumped me. Or I dumped him. Or something. I’m not sure. He tried to blackmail me and shame me into doing things I didn’t want to do by threatening to leave me if I didn’t comply so I called his bluff and we went down in flames. And then I found out he cheated on me. But that’s not why I’m emailing you, Tuffy! I’m emailing you about what happened after we broke up.

After the breakup I started toying with the idea of moving 6 hours away to go back to college. I’d quit going because my fiance wanted me to spend more time with him (I know, I know. I was a stupid c**t. But hey. I was barely 19. And stupid. So, sooooooo stupid.) and after 3 years I had the chance to go back. I finally decided to grab a pair and do it when I noticed a startling trend amongst my friends. Read More »

Lesson 24: Nicholas Sparks Is Not The Author Of Your Life

If you have yet to endure the torture that is a Nicholas Sparks movie marathon, I highly suggest you look into it purely as a service to yourself. Though the sappy movies seem out of place in single girl world, they’re actually a pretty effective learning tool – of what not to do.

Nicholas Sparks, author of our favorite tear jerking, secret guilty pleasure movies, shared the formula to his book-to-movie love stories. “(Romances) are all essentially the same story: You’ve got a woman, she’s down on her luck, she meets the handsome stranger who falls desperately in love with her, but he’s got these quirks, she must change him, and they have their conflicts, and then they end up happily ever after,” Sparks said.

While the roller coaster dramas from the likes of The Notebook and Dear John work beautifully on your television screen, they don’t transfer so well into reality. Even as Sparks’ novels point out some valid points about love, like that it can happen unexpectedly or that it can change a person or it’s tendency for turbulence, it’s imperative that single girls not set a “Nicholas Sparks Standard” for their love lives. Read More »