Finally, a headline we’ve been waiting for since 2003: Vanessa Bryant has filed for divorce from Kobe Bryant! Like countless other celebrity/California divorces, she cited “irreconcilable differences.” Also known as “you cheated on me one too many times, so I stayed with you through all your court trials and championships so that I could get my half of it all in 2011.” Yep, the Laker who plays for $25 million per year (and counting) did not have a freakin’ prenup. Maybe that’s not something you really think about when you get engaged six months after meeting on a music video shoot.

More power to you, Vanessa! Keep your head held high, and put your fist up in the air — you know, the one with that 8-carat purple diamond ring on it that’s worth $4 million alone. Collect your spousal support, take care of Natalia and Gianna and enjoy the fabulously single life, because your divorce is one of the Most Necessary Breakups of 2011 (well, in general, really)…congratulations!

Who else made the list? You know, all those whose headlines kinda made you smile with relief and gave you hope in humanity again. Let me refresh your memory…

initiating the gallery...

Who else thankfully called it quits? And who do you think still needs to? Hey, the year isn’t over yet, there’s still a chance they’ll come to their senses!

Ashley is a UC San Diego grad who is holding on way too tightly to a potential career in magazines and goes to Vegas all too often. She’s fascinated with celebrities and strawberry beer and doubles as a pathological texter/emailer/blogger. Feed the addiction with tweets @cashleelee. Thanks in advance.

Have you ever been stuck in a funk that, even though your friends are concerned and your finals are creeping up, you really just don’t want to get out of it just yet? Like you just want to crawl into your Snuggie with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and while listening to a song that articulates your inexpressible feelings so perfectly?

Let me tell you, as a newly single girl, I know the feeling. I thought I practically invented this ritual until I realized that this guy named Brandyn Burnette is actually exploiting it by mashing together two of the most overplayed tracks on my “Feel Sorry for Myself” playlist.

Burnette released the video for ‘Rain Over You’—a mashup of ‘It Will Rain’ by Bruno Mars (from the Breaking Dawn soundtrack) and Gavin Degraw’s ‘Not Over You.’ He’s an NYU student who’s already made Internet waves with viral covers of Demi Lovato and Lil Wayne, and thankfully, he’s signed to Warner Bros Records and currently working on his debut album.

But until that’s released, enjoy the video below. Over and over again. Heartstrings, beware.

Have you heard of Brandyn Burnette before? And am I missing out on any other amazing YouTube cover artists?!

Katy Perry previews her new music video.

Emma Stone has found the most f**king perfect guy.

Kim K returns to LA, chaos ensures.

3 signs you need to walk away from him.

Can’t get enough Parks and Rec? Watch spinoff episodes here!

Mariah Yeater revealed.

This new sex toy for men looks horrifying.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley covers German Vogue.

Katherine Heigl rocks some budget fashion.

Advice can often be a tricky thing. You want to listen to your mother when she tells you pleat-front khakis are becoming of a young lady. You want to listen to your best friend when she tells you you should definitely text your crush again because, like, maybe the last one didn’t go through. You want to listen to your older sister when she tells you not to mix Malibu, Natty Ice and 2 a.m. leftover pizza.

Like I said. You want to. But should you? Well, probably in the case of your dear ol’ sis. But pleat front khakis? Unacceptable!

And when it comes to matters of the heart…that sh*t cray! But one Hollywood celeb dishes out her words of wisdom, and you know what? She pretty much hits the nail on the head.

Lesson 41 – Don’t Ask For Advice You Don’t Intend On Taking

There you are, shaking your head again, because somehow (perhaps under the influence of a little Grey Goose and Sarah Dessen) you’ve wandered into dangerous territory yet again. So you fell in love with a fool. Who hasn’t? And it seems that every time you’re left to your own devices, you wake up covered in his sheets and your own shame. And even though you refer to him as a soul-sucking douchebag void of emotion, he’s always been your soul-sucking douchebag void of emotion. But just because he’s a fool doesn’t mean you have to be one too.

The way I see it is that if you’re going to go out of your way to beg your friends for advice on how to fall out of love with a man who clearly has no regard for your feelings, than you need to go out of your way to at least try and take their advice. So many times I’ve given my closest girlfriends pep talks that they’ve requested, to deter them from their loser ex-boyfriends, and so many times it’s like they haven’t listened at all as they race back to him and the bedding his mother probably purchased for him. If you have no intention of taking your friend’s advice, especially after you practically begged for it, then please do them a favor and stop asking for it.

By now we all know your friends are your friends and they just want what’s best for you. When they go out of their way to give you thoughtful advice, that you ignore the minute you smell so much as a hint of your ex’s cologne, the least you could do is make an effort to take it to heart. The blunt and honest truth is that nobody likes the friend that makes a huge deal of asking for advice about her romantic troubles but who, upon receiving said advice, pretends like she never asked for it in the first place.

Often girls justify going back to their exes with the fact that they’ve listened to advice suggesting they don’t, convincing themselves they’ve heard out both sides of the story. The problem lies in asking for advice out of ritual and never actually processing and internalizing it. And sure enough the vicious cycle begins, you run back to him and then to your friends for more advice that you don’t intend on actually taking as you rush back to him the minute you’re alone again.

Maybe some girls have a reservoir of advice to give out to girls like it’s candy on Halloween night, but when I take the time to dole out advice to my girlfriends, I put thought and consideration into it and, above all, energy. Energy that could’ve been spent doing things that are actually useful to my own life, like studying or playing Dance Dance Revolution. As a general rule of thumb, don’t ask for advice because you like the attention, or because you want to feel less guilty about not making any true efforts to move on from your ex. If you’re not going to consider your friends’ advice out of respect for yourself, then at least do it out of respect for your girlfriends.

Got it? Feel empowered? Good. Now get the first 40 rules of the Single Girl Society

Every girl deals with heartbreak differently. Some prefer mourning the relationship by staying in and watching The Notebook and others prefer going all out and celebrating their newly single status with shots of tequila and a Rihanna dance party. Though there’s no one right path to overcoming the first pangs of heartbreak and its inevitable aftershock, but I can tell you what I’ve done in the past to get past heartbreak and its annoying friend, pain.

Lesson 37: Tricks of the trade when it comes to breakup heartbreak.

Closure can be treacherous territory. My go-to advice for my girlfriends and for myself is to create your own closure. Too many times I watch my friends go into post-breakup coffees and lunches with guys, using the veil of closure as a chance to talk things out and get back together. Closure is one of those great concepts in theory but not so much in practice because it’s so subjective. What seems like closure to one person could become a quest for more answers for another person. You have to ask yourself if you really want to know the reasons somebody didn’t want to be with you and if so, you need to be prepared for the feelings that could come with that.

The danger lies in relying on someone else to give you a feeling of security. If you’re serious about seeking out closure, start with yourself. The sooner you accept that sometimes relationships just don’t work, the easier it’s going to be for you to put down the breakup ice cream and pick up the pieces of your life and move on. Trust yourself enough to be on your own so that you can rely on yourself for security and not the guy who just walked away from you.

Next, you don’t have to forget a relationship to get over it. Still fresh from a breakup, blocking a guy out of your mind can be the hardest thing in the world, partially because you’re not ready to imagine your life without him but also because you’re stuck in that “remembering to forget him” phase. Stop stressing over whether or not you’re thinking about him too much, and allow your mind to go there if you can’t help but think of the memories you have of your relationship. At the risk of sounding cliché, time really does get you over a breakup. But at the same time, make an effort to go out, focus on new things that have nothing to do with your ex, be it school or your friends or your hobbies, and in time, the heartbreak that you thought you’d cling onto desperately will slip through your fingertips.

As much as you can’t fathom the thought of never thinking of him, over time, you will think of him less and less, even if it’s gradual. Believe me, if the relationship is something worth being heartbroken over, you’ll never fully forget it, but you can move past it. You can grow and learn from a past breakup, and even though it doesn’t seem like it now, you may even be able to look back on it fondly.

Breakups, whether you feel them coming or they catch you totally off guard, can really shake up your entire life. They remind us that at any point in our lives we can feel lost, rejected, and miserable. While the initial pangs of heartbreak make me the epicenter of a storm perfectly capable of complete destruction, I’ve found a sense of stability in knowing that heartbreak, as awful as it seems, is a pretty small problem to have considering the amount of pain out there in the world. There’s nothing more grounding than remembering that there are people in the world who wished that heartbreak was the worst of their problems.

I’ve been active in volunteer work almost my whole life and I’ll be honest that most of the volunteer projects I’ve picked started as a result of heartbreak. And even though this goes without saying, the time I’ve spent volunteering post-breakup never falls to the wayside once I’ve gotten through the heartbreak. Look, I’m not proud to admit that it sometimes takes me going through pain to realize that others feel worse pain, but I’m very proud of the person my breakups have molded me into. Heartbreak keeps me grounded and reminds me that even if the world throws heartbreak my way, I can peel myself off the couch, away from that sixth pint of ice cream and I can do my best from preventing pain in another person’s life.

So if nothing else you try seems to work, give paying it forward a chance because as much as heartbreak has the potential to be cyclical, so does happiness.

Got it? Feel empowered? Good. Now get the first 36 rules of the Single Girl Society

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have been in a long distance (400 miles) relationship for almost 3 years, as you can imagine, everthing started off all pretty and perfect but a lot has changed over these years.

My boyfriend is the ‘Mummy’s boy’ type – the type that will start an argument if he doesn’t get his own way. It all started in Fall 2009 – things hadn’t been great between us, he broke up with me when I was on an important placement, then a week later started a relationship with a girl from his school (I had always suspected he was starting to like her.)

I tried to cut him out of my life – delete number, email, Facebook, blah blah blah. But he kept contacting me saying that he still loved me and regretted breaking up with me. In November 2009 we got back together, and everything was blissful again… or so I thought. He had told me that he regretted breaking up with me/didn’t know why he done it and that it was a rebound. The girl he broke up with me for told me that my boyfriend was sneaky and a liar (at first I didn’t believe it, but now I am starting to wonder whether she was right.)

Last year I was snooping on his Facebook (as you do when he leaves it signed on at yours… I know I shouldn’t but…) and I saw that he had sent a message to a girl that he always complained to me was a slag. Although the message was just a friendly ‘hey how are you’ type thing, my mouth still dropped. I asked him about the message and he said she had messaged him a few week’s ago and he had only just replied…. So I then asked the girl and she said that wasn’t true.

Anyway, I forgave and forgot, Lauren Conrad style and we moved on. A couple of month’s down the line I receive an email from a girl at his school telling me that my boyfriend had just admitted sending sexual texts to another girl a couple of months into the beginning of our relationship in 2008. When I confronted him about it he said he was ‘lonely’ and that he hadn’t done it again.

Finally. Last night I got an email from an online dating site, asking me to join as my boyfriend had just signed up. WTF. I went onto his profile and he had listed himself as ‘single’ and looking for a private relationship. I asked him about it and he said to me that he just done it cause he was bored and thought it would be funny to see what type of people used it… he also  said I was over-reacting when I said I was angry.

All of my friends tell me I should break up with him (and I know I should) but it is like he is a magnet and I just cant bring myself away from him. Please, please help me. What do you think I should do in this situation?
I am just fed up of him thinking he can not respect me or our relationship. I would be so grateful for advice.

X,
B.I.T.C.H – Babe In Total Control of Herself (Almost.)

Dear Babe,

He is making a fool out of you.

I mean, how many times do you have to catch the guy before you get it through your thick skull that you are allowing him to cheat on you?!

He obviously has no respect for you. He’s more than happy to talk to multiple girls, and probably even hook up, secure in the knowledge that you’ll just forgive him. Because he thinks you’re stupid. I’m sorry to be so harsh, but this is the truth. He think you’re stupid.

He does not love you. He does not care about you. He is playing you and you’re letting him.

You don’t have to put up with this, Babe. I know he’s a “magnet” or whatever other thing you’ve convinced yourself of, but, aside from actual abuse, this is about as bad as it gets. You have no reason to stay with him. He isn’t treating you well. He’s playing the shoop out of you. And you’re clearly not happy.

The subject header of your email was “Why do I stay with him?” Well, honestly, Babe, I don’t know. Without actually knowing you, I’d guess low self-esteem. And this is perhaps the saddest part of this whole flooping letter. There are plenty of men (and women) out there who will treat you like shoop if you let them. But the question is, WHY LET THEM? Why are you letting him?? You’re asking me, but I think this is really something you’re going to have to work out for yourself. Otherwise you’re doomed to repeat the pattern.

Let me tell you a story from Aunt Tuffy’s life. Aunt Tuffy knows someone, a much much older someone, who has been “dating” a man for 10 years. This man never lets her come back to his place. She has not been introduced to his family. Sometimes he doesn’t call her for a few months, and then sometimes he calls every day telling her how much he loves her. She has been waiting around for this man for a decade, rejected other men who have wanted to date her, because she is convinced that this man is the love of her life, even though all signs tell her that not only is she not the love of his but that he is probably married. This man is also “just bored,” and, in the meantime, she has completely allowed him to dominate her thoughts and ruin her life.

Don’t let this be you, Babe. Break up with this guy and, even more importantly, get into therapy. Or, if not therapy, keep a journal, or start writing things down every single time you feel unworthy. Because this is not a lifestyle you want to maintain.

And please, please. Do this before you get into the exact same kind of relationship with the next guy.

Notice I’m calling you “Babe,” and not your chosen “B.I.T.C.H.” You’ve got to start thinking more of yourself. This is going to get you into trouble. You are a woman and you are going to act like one. Break up with this guy who treats you like a B.I.T.C.H. and, after you work on yourself a little, go find someone who will treat you like a Babe.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv

After admiring Rihanna’s uncanny ability to show off (an un-flattering for everyone else) upper mid-drift, I learned something new in the ‘101 Things About Men’ section. Apparently, his anogenital length (that’s right, the distance between his poop-hole and his genitals) determines his fertility. If it’s longer than two inches – the more likely you’ll end up with a bun in your oven. The longer, the better people. Pull out that ATM card, ladies, and measure up! So that’s what those 16 & Pregnant girls are doing these days…

Anyhooker, I also learned that men crave the tender love and sex in the month of July. Why, you ask? Contrary to my popular belief, not because it’s my birthday month. Apparently come July – men become sluggish and slightly depressed. Really!? Is that the excuse we’re using nowadays? Yea, I get sluggish too – and my hair frizzes out to Texas. GIVE ME A HUG.

When I finally turned the page after staring at Justin Bieber’s new ad for perfume (which apparently makes people float and loudly sniff necks and breath),  I came across an article called ‘Talking So He Will Listen.’ I have my own ideas for talking so he’ll listen (like while wearing a loin cloth or absentmindedly touching your boobs) but surprisingly, Cosmo had other ideas. Like, the simple things: assuming you share a brain, ignoring your body, speaking in code and essentially having an out of body experience whenever you converse with your man.

Later, an article had a body-language expert ruin six relationships as she analyzed pictures couples sent in (ones the couples were proud of) to see if they were going to last. In one photo she described the couple’s body language by saying, “She stands in front of him, demonstrating she likes to be the center of attention. There is definite tension here.” BOOM, relationship doubt, planted into the innocent minds of the couple together for five years.

That brings us to the article that get’s our popcorn poppin’ in bed, my favorite sexy-time nugget of glory: ‘The Sexiest Spots to Touch Him During Sex.” Because the spots you already touch him are…not sexy enough. I really hope Cosmo finds a cool way to incorporate erotic nostril touching into this…

Cosmo Says: Think of the base of his penis like your pubic mound.
Brittany Says: Woah. Woah. Woah. Wordage, Cosmo. WORDAGE. Pubic mound? This isn’t a construction zone.

Cosmo Says: Dart your tongue in and out like a snake, flicking it quickly. The fast movements will get him super hyped.
Brittany Says: And it will get YOU super hyped, too. Also, maybe if you do it fast enough you can start to smell things with your taste buds? Kind of like a rattle snake. Oh, how cool! I taste smells!

Cosmo Says: Press your lips together like you’re about to plant one on him, then place them directly over his P-spot and suck.
Brittany Says: First of all, how old are we? P-spot sounds like a naughty place in kindergarten you couldn’t go, or touch. Second of all, if this it the p-spot I’m thinking about, who wants to go anywhere near that with the same kissy face you come at your mother with? Muah!

Cosmo Says: Hand over your Cosmo with a flirty smile asking him to pinpoint the tips that sound fun. You’ll be able to see the kinds of touches he prefers.
Brittany Says: You’ll also find out if you guys should be together forever, or one more minute, “Hey honey, suck on my p-spot like Nemo.”

We’re done.

Question?! Answer: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Goddess of Wisdom, Guardian of Common Sense, Destroyer of BullS***, Tuffy,

Recently my fiance dumped me. Or I dumped him. Or something. I’m not sure. He tried to blackmail me and shame me into doing things I didn’t want to do by threatening to leave me if I didn’t comply so I called his bluff and we went down in flames. And then I found out he cheated on me. But that’s not why I’m emailing you, Tuffy! I’m emailing you about what happened after we broke up.

After the breakup I started toying with the idea of moving 6 hours away to go back to college. I’d quit going because my fiance wanted me to spend more time with him (I know, I know. I was a stupid c**t. But hey. I was barely 19. And stupid. So, sooooooo stupid.) and after 3 years I had the chance to go back. I finally decided to grab a pair and do it when I noticed a startling trend amongst my friends.

I was being ostracized. Excluded. Left out. Sidelined. Even my best friend, who I’ve known since I was 13, had kicked me to the curb. (Self Preservation, I guess. She’s dating my Ex’s BFF.)

So Imagine my surprise when she showed up at my place with another friend of ours who was about to graduate high school. I was kinda surprised, but I took it in stride. We talked a bit and I asked when our friend’s graduation day was and how she was celebrating, but before she could say anything my best friend (who shall henceforth be called Heartless Bitch) interrupted her and said “All of us are going to the beach tomorrow.”

I was excited for about 3 seconds before she said “But you can’t go. [My Ex] is gonna be there.”

Zing! That hurt, but instead of showing it I changed the subject. “How is he? I haven’t spoken to him in a while.”

“Oh, he’s fine. I’m surprised, though. I thought he’d be more of a mess. It was both of you guys first serious relationship. I mean, he lost his virginity to you.”

It was at this point that our mutual friend dropped a bomb on me. “No he didn’t,” she said. “He lost his virginity to a guy.”

I think I must have had a stroke because I couldn’t move or talk. But I could still listen to the two of them argue about it. “No he didn’t. He lost it to her.”

“Dude, he tells everyone like it’s nothing. It’s common knowledge. I thought she knew.” For the record NO, I DID NOT KNOW. Then Heartless Bitch took one look at me and said “Well, we’ve got to go,” and walked out the door.

I didn’t hear from either of them for two weeks. In those two weeks I started packing my crap and prepared to get the hell out of dodge. When she finally did come around, unannounced once again, I politely asked her how her trip to the beach had been. She smiled and said it was great.

“Well I’m glad,” I told her. “I hope you had fun pissing your life away at the beach because my life was flashing before my eyes as I sat in the doctors office waiting to get a God D*** AIDS test.”

Then she had the audacity to ask me why I was mad at her. I’ll cut this part short and just say I ripped her a new one for being a shitty friend but she just kept deflecting, saying I didn’t look surprised and that she was busy with work.

I’m sorry, but if she found out her boyfriend lied to her and slept with another guy I’m pretty effing sure I’d make time to pick up the phone and make sure she was ok.

There are those who say I should forgive them (Heartless Bitch, My Ex, and all those shitty friends who abandoned me because I was too inconvenient for them to deal with) and try to fix things. I think they should get f***ed.

Am I right to keep on stepping and move on or should I forgive them and let bygones be bygones?

Yours,
Blindsided After The Breakup.

Dear Blindsided After The Breakup,

Wow. Your friends blow.

Yeah, go back to college. Do that. That seems wise. Stop wasting your time with these wastes of space.

Not like you even GET to waste your time with them anyway.

So, um, yes. GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

I’d say, knowing you’re moving on and getting your degree (to have a better life, hopefully) and meeting people who don’t suck ash–well, yes. You should forgive them.

But for YOUR sake, NOT for theirs. And don’t even tell them you forgive them.

In fact, don’t tell them you were ever mad at them.

In fact squared, DON’T TELL THEM ANYTHING. Don’t talk to any of these people ever again. Put this flooped up bullshoop behind you and never look back.

Because, honestly, these people don’t deserve any space in your head.

This ex-fiance of yours sounds like just about the biggest tool I can imagine. (Oh wait, no, that’s your “best friend.” But we’ll get to that.) Blackmailing your fiancee?! Manipulate much?!?! And seriously–and this goes for ALL of you all–if anyone tries to force you to choose between them and something that you care about or that will significantly improve your life (like COLLEGE), this person is NOT deserving of your love and is, in fact, deserving of being totally dumped. Controlling individuals like this can also become dangerous so, please, if you spot yourself in this girl’s letter, get out of the relationship, and the sooner the better.

Also: What the hell, supposed best friend?! She KNOWS she’s being a jerk. And then she tries to justify it?! PLEASE. This is one selfish person if I’ve ever seen one. She clearly couldn’t care less about you. Block her on email. Defriend her on Facebook. Don’t get mad–just forgive her in your mind for being a complete waste of a person and then: Never speak to her again. EVER.

These jerks are purposely excluding you and not even trying to be nice about it. Um, they don’t have to invite you to the beach, but it would be nice, if they’re going to mention it, to (1) invite you somewhere ELSE to make up for it, and (2) DON’T TELL YOU CASUALLY THAT YOUR EX MAY HAVE HAD A SIMULTANEOUS RELATIONSHIP.

By the by, I do have to point out one thing. AIDS tests should not come about only when the guy’s had sex with a guy. Please get with the program. AIDS affects everyone who contracts it. It is NOT specific to the gay community. AT ALL. We are ALL at risk if we have unprotected sex. Don’t be a jerk.

But, back to your mostly-sympathetic question: Move on. Don’t bother hating them. Don’t bother anything-ing them. Go back to school and live well.

Besides, karma’s gonna get those mothafloopas. But don’t wait around to see.

Hearts & Skulls,
Tuffy Luv

Like a little pain? Get more Tough Love right here.

Lesson 24: Nicholas Sparks Is Not The Author Of Your Life

If you have yet to endure the torture that is a Nicholas Sparks movie marathon, I highly suggest you look into it purely as a service to yourself. Though the sappy movies seem out of place in single girl world, they’re actually a pretty effective learning tool – of what not to do.

Nicholas Sparks, author of our favorite tear jerking, secret guilty pleasure movies, shared the formula to his book-to-movie love stories. “(Romances) are all essentially the same story: You’ve got a woman, she’s down on her luck, she meets the handsome stranger who falls desperately in love with her, but he’s got these quirks, she must change him, and they have their conflicts, and then they end up happily ever after,” Sparks said.

While the roller coaster dramas from the likes of The Notebook and Dear John work beautifully on your television screen, they don’t transfer so well into reality. Even as Sparks’ novels point out some valid points about love, like that it can happen unexpectedly or that it can change a person or it’s tendency for turbulence, it’s imperative that single girls not set a “Nicholas Sparks Standard” for their love lives.

First things first, you don’t have to be down on your luck to fall in love. Plenty of women find love when they achieve all of the goals they set for themselves, when their lives are vibrant and full without the existence of a go-to plus one. And as much as I hate to sound like your mother, people tend to be attracted to other happy people. A damsel in distress does not always a love story make. So live your life, fall in love or don’t, but don’t think that love only comes along when you need to be lifted out of a rut.

Secondly, our modern dating scene does not cater well to the idea of falling “desperately in love.” Falling in love? Yes. Desperately? Not so much. I mean, what girl these days wants to be viewed as desperate? And if single girls spend so much energy trying not to appear desperate, what makes us think that single guys would want to be portrayed that way? What with school, social lives, family, mid-college crises, nobody our age has the time to fall “desperately in love.” Though there are always exceptions, nowadays carving your initials into a tree makes way for more efficient proclamations of his love, like a quickie text in between classes.

Lastly, changing a person rarely ensures a “happily ever after.” If there’s anything The Hills has taught me, it’s that you can’t change a person. (Sure, the trials and tribulations of Lauren Conrad are not the most credible source for wisdom, but good advice nonetheless.) Love is not a permission slip to change a man. Love can change people but people can’t change people.

There will always be those girls who believe their lives will someday be a Nicholas Sparks novel and they believe it to the core because they need to. Without the “Nicholas Sparks Standard” those girls wouldn’t survive because they’re too afraid to figure out a love story mold of their own. Truly great love stories exist but that doesn’t mean they have to follow the formula of the ones that have already been written.

Got it? Feel empowered? Good. Now get the first 23 rules of the Single Girl Society right here.