This is real. We're Facebook-Official.

Okay, so as if the world of flirting/dating/hooking up in dark corners wasn’t already confusing enough, we now have Facebook thrown in the mix. You can poke the cutie from Calculus, send some racy “private messages,” and maybe even send a condom or two his way.

But when you actually really like the guy, and have even gone on a couple dates (aka met for lunch in the caf or taken a stroll through the plaza) the whole Facebook situation gets ten times more complicated.

And that brings us to the “relationship status.”  It sits in the corner of our profiles taunting us. “You’re still single??” it screams (accompanied by Facebook ads luring you to Match.com). But when you are seeing someone it’s even worse, nagging you day after day. “Are you official yet?! It’s been a month! Come on already!”

I don’t know how I feel about this little option. I won’t deny that it’s exciting to finally make the official switch to “in a relationship,” but the extra pressure it adds to my love life is a major negative.

Obviously, I’m torn.

Love It:

The fact that making a relationship Facebook official clears up a significant amount of issues surrounding a new relationship. First of all, there is none of that sitting up late at night with your roommate, dissecting his text messages and the way he hugged you goodbye. Does he want a commitment? Is he not sure? Of course he’s sure! He just changed his relationship status!  It sort of brings us back to those Pleasantville days when a guy simply pinned his girl and that was that; when you have been “Facebook officialed” you’re a couple. Done.

Ah, dating has become so black and white. Read More »

Every week, I write College Candy’s “Weekly Ten” about whatever the hard-hitting, relevant issues of the week are.

Obviously.

This week, I’ve decided to focus my Weekly Ten on my Top 10 Facebook Pet Peeves. Because it doesn’t get more relevant or hard-hitting than that.

10. Status updates all the time.
Seriously? Facebook (even though they’re trying really hard to be) is NOT Twitter. Get that shiz outta my news feed. You’re clogging it up.

9. Constant profile picture changes.
Okay, so I might be a little guilty of this one. However, when you’re changing your profile picture more than your underwear (people like that exist, I know it…), it’s time to reevaluate your life.

Special Mention: Annoying peace-sign-and-pouty-lips profile picture. Doubly worse if the picture is taken with MacBook’s photo booth. Triply worse if you’re wearing giant sunglasses. If there’s a small dog or a Coach bag in the picture? Do everyone a favor and just delete your whole profile. Read More »

We are the Facebook generation.  With this glorious title comes many responsibilities (well, sort of): we must immediately inform our friends of any and all actions we take and decisions we make during our day.  This includes what TV show we’re watching, what we are eating, the status of our relationships and, subsequently, our break-ups.

Now that Facebook is in the picture, there is a whole new slew of issues we must face when dealing with a heartbreaking, make-you-wanna-sit-in-your-room-alone-crying-to-sappy-music breakups.

Before Facebook (BF): You break it off with your lover and tell everyone that you ended it, so you need your besties and Ben & Jerry’s, like, stat.
After Facebook (AF): You break it off with your lover and they change their relationship status first, making it look like it was their decision.  Which it was not. Ok, maybe it was, but did they have to change that so quickly? Now you’re getting 45 FB messages and wall posts asking if you are OK.

BF: You rip up all your pictures, cutting out your ex’s face and even burning the particularly painful ones.  Ah, satisfaction.
AF: You untag the 1,938 pictures of you guys as a couple.  It takes four hours and is in no way satisfying because there is a sad lack of sharp objects and fire. And the pictures are still fully intact.

BF: You carefully orchestrate a plan to “accidentally” be at the same social function as your ex, looking fabulous and with what looks like the next Calvin Klein underwear model.
AF: You post pictures from a bender with your besties, carefully editing out the embarrassing bits (oh, thousands) and making sure to post an appropriate, make-him-jealous Facebook status (“Sooo tired but had the best time EVER last night!! <3 Mike” Note: Mike is not your ex). Read More »

Some relationships are hard to define. Some relationships are hard to fit into a category. Most are just flat out HARD! Which is why I decided to stay single. I don’t really have time for all the crap that comes with a boyfriend.

But what’s a girl to do about sex?!?!

I’ve done the one night stands….not fun. For me it just leads to awkwardness and, in some cases, physical pain. But somehow in the craziness that was my freshman year, I found the wonderful relationship called the Friend with Benefits (or as a friend from home calls them, a bene-friend), who somehow became one of my best friends.

It all started when the girl across the hall decided to introduce me to one of her friends from high school. She thought we’d really hit it off, and surprisingly enough, we did! He was funny, cute, smart, and a total gentleman, which pretty much sums up my qualifications. But this was a week before we’d leave for semester break, so we didn’t really do anything. Until February.

I hadn’t heard from the boy since December and upon logging into Facebook I found unread message from him. Yay! I wrote him back. He wrote me back. We laughed. We exchanged screennames. We started talking on AIM. Then one night we had dinner. Next thing I know we’re laying in my bed naked. I’ll admit, I didn’t want to, but he really did and I still thought he was ridiculously cute, so I had sex with him.

And kept having sex with him. I couldn’t help myself! Lord knows I can’t turn down amazing sex, and believe me, that’s what it was. Read More »

So the last time I defined a relationship, it went like this:

Me and my ex lying in bed discussing spring break.

He said, “So I’d be ok with not hooking up with anyone while I’m in the Bahamas. Would you hook up with anyone in South Carolina?”

I said, “Is that your way of asking me if we’re exclusive?”

He said, “Maybe.”

I said, “Ok then, we’re exclusive.”

And from then on, we were boyfriend/girlfriend.

Ok, so that was college — where your friends play just as vital a role in setting the status of your coupledom as you and your significant other do with their mocking “Oh you guys are totally a couple” or “where’s your boyyyyfriend” comments at which point you take a cue from them and give each other the appropriate title.

But in the real world, it seems this whole defining thing is much harder to do. Read More »