As much as I love being single (and I promise I do. I mean not THAT much has changed since last week), I do have to acknowledge that there are a few aspects of being single that suck. Do they outweigh the greatness that comes with having a bed all to yourself or not shaving for weeks at a time? Maybe not, but there are loads of little things that make the single girl’s life less than perfect.

1. Unreachables.
Whether it’s sunscreen for a day at the beach, aloe after a sunscreen-less day at the beach, or just lotion for those scaly days of winter, no boyfriend = no way to reach your back. And that equals sleeping on your stomach for a week as you wait anxiously for that crispy skin to peel.

2. Moving.
It’s a lot harder to find someone to help with the heavy lifting when there’s no guaranteed nookie in it for him.

3. Sick Days.
See #2, but replace “heavy lifting” with “bring me a bowl of soup.”

4. Crappy Days.
See #2, but replace “heavy lifting” with “bring me cookie dough.”

5. Creative Dates. Or not.
Living in Chicago, the amount of creative dates that can be found are more or less unlimited. With new Groupon and Living Social deals, I am always seeing some really cool opportunities at a steep discount that would be make for great date adventures….if there was someone to go with. Yeah, I could go with my girlfriends, but something about a midnight sailboat cruise to watch the Navy Pier fireworks just doesn’t seem as fun when there’s no one to snuggle with.

6. Sunday Nights.
No matter how content I am with my single status, come Sunday night I couldn’t be less happy. I don’t know what it is, but Sundays just make me want to cuddle.

7. Explaining.
I don’t know why people feel this is an appropriate thing to ask girls that they barely know. It happens all the time to me… I’ll be home for a break, and run into parents of a friend of a friend at the grocery store. So I’ll be talking to the mother of this person I barely know, and she’ll ask me how college is going, and oh yes, do I have a boyfriend now? I hate when people seem to think that being in a relationship is necessary for me to be viewed as a successful college woman or that my relationship status defines me.

8. Creepers.
Walking into a bar with no man on your arm is like an open invitation for creepers to creep all creepy on you. And it’s not the end of the world to do the whole “I’ve got a boyfriend,” but I hate having to lie, even to random strangers. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I give my number out like free t-shirts during freshman move-in week, but I’d rather avoid the “Hey baby, come here often?” if I can.

What do you hate most about being a single lady?

I can only imagine what the rest of their life together will be like. Everyone following the couple on Twitter will be alerted to when they have officially consummated the relationship. Probably something along the lines of “I think we just successfully created our first offspring!” In fact, she will probably follow in the footsteps of the woman who tweeted while giving birth. I guess it might take her mind of the labor pains? But chances are nobody wants to know that you can see the head popping out of your womanly parts. I can’t imagine that getting very many “likes” on Facebook.

Since when has social networking taken such precedence in our daily lives? Take for example, the couple that gets engaged and then changes their relationship status that very same night. I can think of a couple other things you could be doing that definitely do not involve a computer.

I understand that this particular couple was trying to be funny; a new spin on the wedding entrance dance that became a viral hit overnight. But this just made me want to smack the iPhone out of the groom’s hands. Maybe…. MAYBE… if that was Mark Zuckerberg himself getting married… maybe then I could appreciate the humor in this. Otherwise, please refrain from Facebooking during your sacred union. Trust me, the world will keep spinning.

This is one of the times in life when I wish Facebook had a “dislike” option. People should be enjoying living their lives, not sitting in front of a computer or smart phone, documenting it.

This is real. We're Facebook-Official.

Okay, so as if the world of flirting/dating/hooking up in dark corners wasn’t already confusing enough, we now have Facebook thrown in the mix. You can poke the cutie from Calculus, send some racy “private messages,” and maybe even send a condom or two his way.

But when you actually really like the guy, and have even gone on a couple dates (aka met for lunch in the caf or taken a stroll through the plaza) the whole Facebook situation gets ten times more complicated.

And that brings us to the “relationship status.”  It sits in the corner of our profiles taunting us. “You’re still single??” it screams (accompanied by Facebook ads luring you to Match.com). But when you are seeing someone it’s even worse, nagging you day after day. “Are you official yet?! It’s been a month! Come on already!”

I don’t know how I feel about this little option. I won’t deny that it’s exciting to finally make the official switch to “in a relationship,” but the extra pressure it adds to my love life is a major negative.

Obviously, I’m torn.

Love It:

The fact that making a relationship Facebook official clears up a significant amount of issues surrounding a new relationship. First of all, there is none of that sitting up late at night with your roommate, dissecting his text messages and the way he hugged you goodbye. Does he want a commitment? Is he not sure? Of course he’s sure! He just changed his relationship status!  It sort of brings us back to those Pleasantville days when a guy simply pinned his girl and that was that; when you have been “Facebook officialed” you’re a couple. Done.

Ah, dating has become so black and white.

And when it finally does happen you can inform all of your 1,345 friends instantly. No need to pick up the phone and tell everyone you’ve finally met a great guy when his entire life history, complete with photos, is only a friend request away.

And I have to admit, it is freakin’ exciting. Being able to finally tell that little relationship box, and the rest of the online community, that you are officially “in a relationship”! You will be bombarded with little red number notifications, since everyone “likes” this new change. And it will feel great.

Loathe It:

How official is official anyway?! Is it enough that we text during class and make out every Friday night? And what if you think it’s official, but you have yet to receive the relationship confirmation request. What can you really say to clear up the confusion? “Uh…hey, I was wondering, can we be Facebook official yet?” If this isn’t pitiful, I don’t know what is.

Then there’s the rejection; what if you just want to have fun, and the guy totally jumps the gun and makes it official? (Or vice-versa – we can’t deny that we tend to fall a tad too quickly).  You don’t want to hurt his feelings (because you totally want to have him available for a booty call at all times of the night) but if you accept, everyone else will think you are a couple, which would severely hinder your chances of meeting other cute guys on campus.

Finally: the break up. As if they aren’t awkward already. Now you have to have 1,345 people feeling sorry for you and sending their condolences. Not to mention all your girlfriends “liking” it and leaving comments like “you deserve better anyway,” and “were going to get WASTED tonight!!” Some of these breakups are actually really painful for both parties, and making it unofficial on Facebook totally trivializes it. Not to mention that both of you have to deal with reading the others friends’ plans to take your ex-significant-other out to get wasted and hook up.

And when is it appropriate to make it un-official anyway? Is the next morning too insensitive? Does waiting a week make you seem desperate and clingy? It seems like there isn’t a right answer. Breakups take time, and Facebook doesn’t have “in the process of moving on” as a relationship option.

What does everyone else think? Do you love being able to solidify your relationship via Facebook or does it make the dating even more stressful (if that’s even possible)?

Every week, I write College Candy’s “Weekly Ten” about whatever the hard-hitting, relevant issues of the week are.

Obviously.

This week, I’ve decided to focus my Weekly Ten on my Top 10 Facebook Pet Peeves. Because it doesn’t get more relevant or hard-hitting than that.

10. Status updates all the time.
Seriously? Facebook (even though they’re trying really hard to be) is NOT Twitter. Get that shiz outta my news feed. You’re clogging it up.

9. Constant profile picture changes.
Okay, so I might be a little guilty of this one. However, when you’re changing your profile picture more than your underwear (people like that exist, I know it…), it’s time to reevaluate your life.

Special Mention: Annoying peace-sign-and-pouty-lips profile picture. Doubly worse if the picture is taken with MacBook’s photo booth. Triply worse if you’re wearing giant sunglasses. If there’s a small dog or a Coach bag in the picture? Do everyone a favor and just delete your whole profile.

8. Changing relationship status.
Going from Single to In a Relationship to In an Open Relationship to It’s Complicated all in the same week? That information does not need to be broadcast to all of Facebook. I don’t care if you have more relationship ish going on than Jennifer Aniston; Facebook isn’t Star Magazine and I didn’t subscribe to your drama with Mr. Frat Star.

7. Application Updates
UM WHAT IS WITH THIS MAFIA GAME ON FACEBOOK?! It’s all up in my feeds and I want nothing to do with it. Tony Soprano is NOT impressed either. I’m sure of it.

6. FIVE THINGS ABOUT ME
Really? The Five Types of Animals you would be? Five kinds of deodorant you’ve used in your lifetime? Five Candle Scents that you love?! Here are five reasons I find this beyond irritating:

1. If you’re a good friend of mine, chances are I already KNOW your 5 favorite movies. Even if you’re NOT a good friend of mine, I’m pretty sure Facebook has a “favorite movies” section on your profile.
2. Five girls you find the hottest would never even look twice at you.
3. If I wanted to know five things you don’t leave the house without, I’d open your purse and go through it.
4. Five Favorite Old School Nickelodeon Shows? Okay, I’ll give you that one. Especially if you put “Figure It Out.”
5. Five people you’d want on your side at a bar fight. Sorry, honey, Buffy is too cool to hit up $2 Draft night with you. Plus, she’s not real. Sadly.

5. Quizzes
65% Bitch? Awesome. I 100% DO NOT CARE.

4. Texts From Last night
Are you really so unoriginal that you have to constantly post things that other people have text messaged and in turn are published on a website that EVERYONE HAS ALREADY READ?! Bonus if all your wallposts to others are simply TFLN quotes. Yes, the website is funny, but if I wanted to read the texts, I could very easily go. to. the. website.

(610): Last night I was so drunk that I realized I can’t come up with any of my own entertaining material so I decided to yoink someone else’s drunk text from a website! Alcohol and unoriginality for the win, yo.

3. Invitations to groups that you want no part of
Dude, I haven’t talked to you since Middle School. I am not going to join “10,000 Strong For Rush Limbaugh.”

2. Becoming fans of…
Maybe a couple things are okay. But when you become a fan of Zac Efron, Facebook, Gummi Worms, TFLN, iPhone Apps, Dexter’s Laboratory (okay, awesome show and admittedly I am a fan of it. Besides the point.), strawberry milkshakes, Tequila, Yankees, and Megan Fox all in the same day? Check yourself.

1. Pretending you “never go on Facebook” when you’re on ALL THE TIME.
We know you love your News Feed. And you got an iPhone just so you’d never have to go 5 minutes without it. Come out of the closet.

Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie

Now that Facebook is in the picture, there is a whole new slew of issues we must face when dealing with a heartbreaking, make-you-wanna-sit-in-your-room-alone-crying-to-sappy-music breakups.

Before Facebook (BF): You break it off with your lover and tell everyone that you ended it, so you need your besties and Ben & Jerry’s, like, stat.
After Facebook (AF): You break it off with your lover and they change their relationship status first, making it look like it was their decision.  Which it was not. Ok, maybe it was, but did they have to change that so quickly? Now you’re getting 45 FB messages and wall posts asking if you are OK.

BF: You rip up all your pictures, cutting out your ex’s face and even burning the particularly painful ones.  Ah, satisfaction.
AF: You untag the 1,938 pictures of you guys as a couple.  It takes four hours and is in no way satisfying because there is a sad lack of sharp objects and fire. And the pictures are still fully intact.

BF: You carefully orchestrate a plan to “accidentally” be at the same social function as your ex, looking fabulous and with what looks like the next Calvin Klein underwear model.
AF: You post pictures from a bender with your besties, carefully editing out the embarrassing bits (oh, thousands) and making sure to post an appropriate, make-him-jealous Facebook status (“Sooo tired but had the best time EVER last night!! <3 Mike” Note: Mike is not your ex).

BF: You still have his daily schedule memorized, so you “check up” on him every now and then.  (Wait, why is he lingering in Starbucks so long?  When did Starbucks start hiring models as baristas??)
AF: You and your Blackberry settle down for a productive day of Facebook stalking.  Looks like your ex hasn’t posted any photos since your break-up.  Is that because he hasn’t done anything worthy of photos, or is that because he’s been too busy with someone else to get any photos taken??

BF: You avoid any sort of knowledge that he has moved on before you.
AF: Your Newsfeed tells you that some new chick has posted pictures of him. You spend the next 3 hours checking this girl out, seeing who she knows, Googling her, and trying to figure out if they are just friends or if it’s something more.

BF: You totally cut your ex out of your life: ignoring his phone calls, staying away from his favorite places, etc.  Cold turkey on the communication.
AF: You un-friend your ex on Facebook so he can’t see your frequent status updates that include comments on your daily testing of waterproof mascara and the merits of  the different flavors of Ben & Jerry’s (seriously, they are the bearers of peace and serenity). And then you regret un-friending him because you can no longer see what he’s doing. But you can’t re-friend him; that would just be pathetic. What should you do? Oh why did you act so abruptly? Now you are going to have to stalk your friends who are still friends with him so you can use their FB to look at him.

Ugh. As if breaking up weren’t hard enough already…

But what’s a girl to do about sex?!?!

I’ve done the one night stands….not fun. For me it just leads to awkwardness and, in some cases, physical pain. But somehow in the craziness that was my freshman year, I found the wonderful relationship called the Friend with Benefits (or as a friend from home calls them, a bene-friend), who somehow became one of my best friends.

It all started when the girl across the hall decided to introduce me to one of her friends from high school. She thought we’d really hit it off, and surprisingly enough, we did! He was funny, cute, smart, and a total gentleman, which pretty much sums up my qualifications. But this was a week before we’d leave for semester break, so we didn’t really do anything. Until February.

I hadn’t heard from the boy since December and upon logging into Facebook I found unread message from him. Yay! I wrote him back. He wrote me back. We laughed. We exchanged screennames. We started talking on AIM. Then one night we had dinner. Next thing I know we’re laying in my bed naked. I’ll admit, I didn’t want to, but he really did and I still thought he was ridiculously cute, so I had sex with him.

And kept having sex with him. I couldn’t help myself! Lord knows I can’t turn down amazing sex, and believe me, that’s what it was.

Well, about a month in, he drops the bomb; he tells me that he sees me more as a friend and doesn’t want to ruin the friendship like he has in the past. I agree so we decide to be just friends. That lasted about a week. We just couldn’t seem to keep our hands off of each other (seriously…AMAZING sex). Well, a few days later we’re back to, “let’s just be friends. REALLY this time.” And that time it worked.

After all the sex and nakedness was out of the picture I realized that this guy was pretty dang awesome. He listened, he’s the complete opposite of a jerk, and we have the exact same sense of humor. We hung out pretty much every single day. Until…well, like I said, we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other and were back to doing the no-pants dance after a month. We just simply couldn’t deny it; we found eachother attractive.

So, is he my friend? My friend with benefits? My boyfriend?

After all of this, I’ve learned that some relationships you just can’t seem to put a title on. My relationship status on Facebook says single because, technically, I am. Over the summer we went to our respective homes which are 350 miles apart, and we agreed that if one of us slept with someone else, neither of us would really mind. But we still talked everyday, and I even drove 6 hours to spend a weekend with him (and what a weekend that was!). But now school’s back in session and I get to be back with my…well, I’m not sure what to call him.

He’s my f*ck buddy who just so happens to also be my best friend. And I am totally fine with that.

Me and my ex lying in bed discussing spring break.

He said, “So I’d be ok with not hooking up with anyone while I’m in the Bahamas. Would you hook up with anyone in South Carolina?”

I said, “Is that your way of asking me if we’re exclusive?”

He said, “Maybe.”

I said, “Ok then, we’re exclusive.”

And from then on, we were boyfriend/girlfriend.

Ok, so that was college — where your friends play just as vital a role in setting the status of your coupledom as you and your significant other do with their mocking “Oh you guys are totally a couple” or “where’s your boyyyyfriend” comments at which point you take a cue from them and give each other the appropriate title.

But in the real world, it seems this whole defining thing is much harder to do.

I’ve been dating this guy for over a month. We’ve hung out almost every Saturday night, talk a few nights a week, hook up sober and not only did he make us dinner reservations for V-Day without any discussion of it beforehand, but he had a dozen roses delivered to my apartment. (I know, so cute!)

If all of these things don’t signal he’s into me and considers us exclusive, then I don’t know what does.

However, I’m a girl, hence I don’t really like this gray area. I have this urge to establish that we’re a couple. And since I don’t want to seem too aggressive or pushy, I haven’t brought it up. But I can’t help but wonder and ask every one of my friends, when is the right time to have that conversation?

Should I wait another month? Should I wait for him to say something? Should wait til I’m nice and liquored up and blurt it out?

What’s your advice??