"I love beer....er... I mean you. I love you."

It’s pretty obvious that couples who share interests get along better. But what about vices? Does a love of trashy reality TV or boozing it up on the weekends make for a stronger pair? Yes, according to a study done by the University of Buffalo. In fact, the happiest couples of all are those with a shared love of hitting the bottle.

Basically, the couple who boozes together, cruises together.

That’s great news to us college students who love drinking almost as much as dating (okay, maybe we love it a little more). But now combining the two is a good thing? This is heaven to our horny, drunk ears. And, when you think about it, it all makes perfect sense:

Alcohol eases tension. What do we all do when we’re having a bad day/fuming mad? Yes, we pour ourselves a drink (then eat a brownie) and suddenly everything feels better. So obviously fights go away quicker in relationships when both couples love a little booze. You start fighting, you start drinking and soon no one remembers what you were fighting about in the first place.

Alcohol makes us tolerant. People are 50 times less annoying when we have a buzz on. The way he chomps on his food may drive you up the wall normally, but with some alcohol in our systems, those little pet peeves aren’t nearly as annoying. They might even be kinda cute (see #5 below). Read More »

I went to college hoping to graduate with my M.R.S. degree. Little did I know that instead of perusing the collegiate hallways for my future husband, I should have just shacked up with my parent’s handy man.

According to an academic report published in the European Journal of Operational Research, women looking for a long-lasting, loving marriage should settle down with a man five or more years older, who has received less education than they have. Scientists tracked 1,000 couples who were either married or in serious relationships over five years. Their research suggested that if neither partner had been previously divorced and their age and education fell within the guidelines, marital bliss was sure to ensue.

Older and dumber = happily married? So what you’re telling me is, I’ll have better success in my marriage if I settle down with a man in his mid-30s still working on receiving his high school degree rather than the Ivy League graduate or the hottie sitting next to me in Chem?

I don’t know how my parents will feel about this.
Sigh.
I don’t know how I feel about this.

I always envisioned myself with a handsome man, probably younger than me due to my cougar-ish nature, who is a gentleman and a scholar. He would challenge me intellectually and look damn good in a pair of jeans. Now it seems the criteria for my future mate has changed.

He must not be able to read.
Extra points if he’s going bald. Read More »