Oh, you don't like my skirt? That makes me love you even more.

It’s a situation almost every college girl finds herself in. You’re sitting in your room, watching your news feed on the ‘Book. There’s a guy that you’re kind of interested in, but not enough to actively pursue him, when all of a sudden you see his name pop up. He’s commented on someone’s picture, so of course you click on it to read it. And the next thing you know, you’re poking around his profile, checking on his every move.

Oh! Turns out he’s going to a party on Friday that you also happen to be attending. Splendid.

You talk to him briefly at the party, both of you getting a little flirty. He’s not the smartest guy you’ve ever had witty banter with, but he’s OK. He could be worse. And then he walks away and you catch him chatting up someone else and – OMG – is she putting his hand on his back? Suddenly you’re upset.

Jealous.

You’re totally into him.

But don’t worry you’re not alone. (OK, you are alone standing there…but you’re not alone in feeling this way.) According to a new study titled, “He Loves me, He Loves Me Not… Uncertainty Can Increase Romantic Attraction,” women are more attracted to men when they can’t tell how much the men like them.

Yes, my dear friends, it’s not our fault! Uncertainty messes with our heads more than abs, dimples and the cute way he winks at you in class anything else. In the study, researchers from Virginia University and Harvard had a group of college women go onto Facebook and rate profiles of four men (which, to you, might sound like a regular Wednesday night). The catch – the women were told the guys had either expressed interest in their profile, thought they were average, or were unsure about them. The boys the women expressed the most interest in? The guys they were told weren’t sure about them.

Scary stuff, right?

And our good friend Mark Zuckerberg is only making it worse. We are now able to see who the guys we meet are talking to, whose photos they are commenting on and what events they are invited to. Whether or not we like it, we’re bombarded with this constant uncertainty, and it only makes us more interested. And potentially crazy.

The worst part of all of this? The fact that we can’t help it. It’s innate. Maybe it’s women’s constant desire to win people over, or maybe we’re more into the chase than researchers ever believed. Either way, we’re more attracted to the guy who ignores us than the guy who brings us flowers (or, more likely, buys us shots at the bar). Perhaps the best way to combat this is to form friend support groups and have our friends constantly remind us that we didn’t really like that guy to begin with. Either that or log off the computer and stop checking the social networking apps on our phones.

……

Yeah, friend support group it is.

What do you think of this study? Is it accurate? Any idea how to break the crazy cycle?

Like most single girls out there, I’m constantly looking for someone or something to explain my poor luck in love. I seek the honest opinions of my friends (“Seriously, do I have a mustache?”), I seek the advice of dating experts (CollegeCandy’s dating coach and resident Dude have been my go-tos as of late), I watch The Bachelor (though, that’s just to make myself feel a little less crazy), and when a new love and relationship study comes out that might clue me in to the mind of men, I grab my highlighter and start reading.

And where does that leave me?
Uh, exactly where I was before I wasted my precious time and highlighter juice on that crap.

It seems like every day there’s a new relationship study published somewhere. One day the news lady with the helmet hair is saying that guys are attracted to curvy women; the next day she’s saying they like ‘em stick thin. One says we’re attracted to people who look like our parents. Another says we prefer someone to say something nice to us than to have sex at all. The Today Show will highlight a study saying that men love independent women while, at the same exact time, Good Morning America will share findings that men want the damsel in distress.

Grrrrr. Which is it, people?

The latest in “dating psychology” findings? Men want women who aren’t beautiful. The non-scientific study conducted by OK Cupid found that “the more men as a group disagree about a woman’s looks, the more they end up liking her; that having some men think you’re ugly actually works in a woman’s favor.”

So….the reason I’ve been single for over 2 years is because I’m just too damn pretty? Look, I’m quite self-confident (my mother is constantly telling me she needs to install wider doorways in our house so I can fit my head through them….), but even I find that hard to believe.  I am far from perfect and do I have dudes beating down my door?

Sigh. I wish.

The only thing I do believe in this and all studies I hear about is that they are a waste of money and time, and only conducted to keep us soon-to-be crazy cat ladies from picking up our first 10lb bag of kitty litter.

Look, as much as I want answers, as we all want clear, defined answers, when it comes to dating, they don’t exist. There is no secret to finding ‘the one.’ Hell, there might not even be a ‘one.’ Some people find their other half in a bar, others find them at work. Some girls date people that look like their parents, others might find someone who is the complete opposite. Some guys do prefer curvy women, and some prefer girls who don’t look perfect. But none of those things, not ONE, applies to every single person out there.

Dating is not a science, so it’s time to stop looking at it scientifically. There is no study out there that can predict what everyone really wants, so let’s stop trying to find the answers and just start trying to find our perfect person. Because deep down, I know that when the time is right I will find my guy who likes curvy, red headed, loud, hilarious-when-drunk, Wolverine-football-obsessed women, and I’ll never find him in some stupid survey.

But until that time comes, I’ll still be watching The Bachelor. While it won’t give me any sound dating advice, it will give me the trainwreck drama we all need in our lives.

A new study by the University of Utah backs this extraordinary phenomenon that hating your ex after a breakup makes you feel better. The study involved 65 undergrads who recently ended relationships that lasted more than four months (which, in college, is more like a century). Researchers found that people who seemed to have strong negative feelings about their ex immediately after the breakup were less likely to be depressed.

I know so many girls (and guys) who think holding onto the relationship after the breakup is best—even if that means changing your relationship status on Facebook and instead accepting the new label as “friends” who go out for casual lunches or whatever it is you do—but this just proves you’re all nuts wrong. Victory!

No, but seriously, if you’ve just gone through a rough breakup maybe you should put down those four boxes of Krispy Kremes you’re about to consume, stop taking it out on yourself, and start taking it out on him! It might just be good for you.

According to an academic report published in the European Journal of Operational Research, women looking for a long-lasting, loving marriage should settle down with a man five or more years older, who has received less education than they have. Scientists tracked 1,000 couples who were either married or in serious relationships over five years. Their research suggested that if neither partner had been previously divorced and their age and education fell within the guidelines, marital bliss was sure to ensue.

Older and dumber = happily married? So what you’re telling me is, I’ll have better success in my marriage if I settle down with a man in his mid-30s still working on receiving his high school degree rather than the Ivy League graduate or the hottie sitting next to me in Chem?

I don’t know how my parents will feel about this.
Sigh.
I don’t know how I feel about this.

I always envisioned myself with a handsome man, probably younger than me due to my cougar-ish nature, who is a gentleman and a scholar. He would challenge me intellectually and look damn good in a pair of jeans. Now it seems the criteria for my future mate has changed.

He must not be able to read.
Extra points if he’s going bald.

Somehow I’m not sure this will lead to my happily ever after, but I guess I’ll give it a shot. Move over college boys, I’ve got my eyes on that creepy towny making eyes at me at the bar. I think he might be my soul mate.