One Million Moms, Get Over It: Ellen Degeneres For JCPenney [Video]

Proposition 8 was overturned, and now we have to see that lesbian comedienne Ellen Degeneres as the new face of JCPenney? Where on EARTH will I shop now? Ladies, we’ve got to do something about this. Let’s protest that crazy talk show host so that her homosexuality doesn’t taint all our kids’ back-to-school clothes and our Christmas shopping.

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Is Being Gay A Choice? Actress Cynthia Nixon Says Yes

It’s not easy being gay. In a world where heterosexuality is the norm and homosexuality has often been seen as more than just a religious taboo throughout history—you know, when legitimately recognized at all, that is—the LGBT community has worked tirelessly to declare that sexual preference is not a “preference” at all; instead, the nature vs. nurture arguments now lean more toward a “I’m on the right track, baby, I was born this way” mantra. However, is it necessarily a winner-takes-all conclusion in the homosexuality debate? According to Sex and the City actress Cynthia Nixon, maybe there’s more than one way to be gay. And ton of people are pissed off about it.

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Dear Mom, I Don’t Want a Boyfriend

Dear Mom,

Lately you’ve been giving me an earful about how “my generation” is somewhat selfish, immature and materialistic, which is evident in our relaxed, no-rush approach to marriage, babies and careers. You’ re not being mean, just observational. “Your generation” started younger, so to say; marriage, babies and careers happened in your twenties not your thirties as it does more often in today’s world. Although you strongly believe it is different for everyone, you seem to have a special standard for me personally. You were married with your first kid by the time you were twenty-five…and that was after being a fashion merchandising buyer for the once popular clothing store A&S. (Superwoman.) You never had a problem with me being single until I turned twenty in September of this year. All of a sudden my relationship status has become a constant topic of conversation. I know you want what’s best for me mom but I have to be honest. With all due respect, Mom, I don’t want a boyfriend.

My friends and siblings are in relationships and I am so very happy for them because I get it — relationships are great. But right now I am at a place in my life where being single is great for me. Here’s why… Read More »


Kobe Bryant’s Wife Files For Divorce, Joins Most Necessary Breakups Of 2011

Finally, a headline we’ve been waiting for since 2003: Vanessa Bryant has filed for divorce from Kobe Bryant! Like countless other celebrity/California divorces, she cited “irreconcilable differences.” Also known as “you cheated on me one too many times, so I stayed with you through all your court trials and championships so that I could get my half of it all in 2011.” Yep, the Laker who plays for $25 million per year (and counting) did not have a freakin’ prenup. Maybe that’s not something you really think about when you get engaged six months after meeting on a music video shoot.

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The Time Ask Jeeves Broke Up With Me

Last week I was home for Thanksgiving, going through old yearbooks, blaming the dirty dishes in the sink on my siblings and getting nostalgic for everything else from my childhood.  My mind went from Beanie Babies (tags on, obvi) to my American Girl dolls and then onto weirder things like Ask Jeeves and his search engine. Now it’s hard to believe there was anything before Google. But back in my middle school days, Ask Jeeves was a fricking genius and there was no one I trusted more.

So I did what any girl with an old crush would do. I started tweeting. And while it started out on a promising note (and dare I say, flirtatious!), it went downhill pretty quickly.

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Tuffy Luv Is Creeped Out

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My roommate forced me to get an account on plentyoffish.com, where I actually met a really nice guy, Ryan.  We started talking and I found out that we went to the same high school, and graduated the same year (coincidence!).  We talked on Plenty of Fish for a few days and then I gave him my phone number (we did go to high school together, after all).

Everything was going GREAT and we really hit it off.  He’s Catholic, I’m Catholic. He’s a Republican, I’m a Republican.   He works construction, and he seems like a really nice person.  We have a lot in common and we remember each other from high school, kind of.

Here’s the PROBLEM. Every time we make plans to hangout, he ALWAYS backs out.  I mean I talk to the guy for at least an hour a day (texting, calling, Facebook, etc) and he won’t meet up.  He asked me out on a date once and I said sure and then we decided to meet at this concert we both wanted to go to. I told him to bring a friend, and I brought a friend…he never showed.

He always asks me out and asks me to hangout with him but then when we plan on meeting somewhere he stands me up or complains because he doesn’t want to meet my friends because it would be “awkward.”  YES of course it will be awkward at first, but have a few drinks, loosen up!

I think it would be awkward if we met just the two of us for the first time (since high school) without friends or at least alcohol present.  Am I wrong?  Should I meet him for lunch just the two of us, or should he just grow some BALLS and suck it up…meet my friends and ME?

I have a feeling that he might be the one…just from what we talk about and everything, but if we never meet, how can we have a relationship? Do I stop talking to him? On the other hand if I pass him up, I might regret it for the rest of my life. Opinion pleasee?!

-Stood up and Shot down.

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Lies We Tell Our Friends About The Guys Who Aren’t Into Them

The phone rings, you see it’s your best friend calling. Expecting a hilarious story about the drunken memory you two had forgotten from the night before, you answer ecstatically. But instead she’s crying—blubbering, over her boyfriend and you realize where this conversation is going. We’ve all been there, on the crying end or the comforting end. While both positions are awful, there is something especially dire about telling your best friend that he didn’t call you back because he clearly has Aspergers. Or likes other guys. With this burden in mind let’s review some of the classic “what I say and what I really mean” lines we all tell our best friends.

“He’s just really, really busy right now!”

Why anyone believes us when we say these things is beyond me, but I guess we all just hear what we want to hear. When someone says that to you it obviously means that he doesn’t like you, he’s not calling you back and maybe you shouldn’t have introduced him to your parents three dates in.

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Candy Dish: Hump Day

IUDs might be even more awesome than we thought

Why do we make noises during sex?

Uh oh: The Nielsen Company knows how often you look at porn

Signs he may be cheating on you

When you’re too tired for sex

What’s the freakiest sex you’ve ever had

Why is the HPV vaccine freaking everyone out??

Why he won’t commit

How much lying is too much in online dating?


Tuffy Luv Sez: Be Yourself!

Question?! Answer: Ask Tuffy Luv.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Here’s what’s up. I need you to help me. I NEED you to tell me if I’m being crazy (probable) or right (….also probable *sad face*). So a mere 3 weeks ago, I decided to date one of my best friends. We’ve been close friends for 5 years, best friends for 2 of those years, and he’s liked me for 3. HOWEVER, we never dated because, despite caring about him more than anyone ever, I was never sexually attracted to him. But recently I said, “what the fudge?!” and agreed to date him, and on our first night out as bf/gf, I glanced over, we locked eyes, and WHAM. It hit me. I’ve been in love with this dude for 5 years. This was baaaaaad.

Fast-forward 3 weeks and here I am. Wondering if he likes me. I question every little thing he says, or should I say, DOESN’T say. We never talk anymore!! He always apologizes, saying he just doesn’t have anything interesting in his life (understandable. it’s the summer), but I’m afraid there’s something more going on. We sit there for five minutes without saying anything, and while it’s not awkward, it’s torture on my poor soul! He notices this and tries to make me feel better (he even wants us to do read together so we have something to talk about!), but then we’ll slip back into silence.

Not to say our whole relationship is silence. We’ll have little 20 minute spurts of relationship gold where we make jokes, laugh, delight in our amazing chemistry, we hold hands and he talks about how it’ll be when we’re married, but lo and behold: ANOTHER SILENCE AWAITS just around the river bend…….

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The Break Up Decoder: What He Really Meant But Was Too Scared To Say

Getting dumped sucks. The only thing worse is getting dumped with some vague, cliché breakup line. You know the kind – they’re sugar coated, indirect, and straight from a Friends rerun. We can thank TV and movies for offering a plethora of lame excuses to the male population to recycle over and over again instead of offering us the real reason why they are ending our perfect romance.

Sound familiar? Luckily, these lines can be decoded, so grab that pint of Phish Food and read on for some clarity.

You’re Too Good For Me

Translation: I’m Too Good For You
He thinks he deserves someone better and is attempting to slip out of the relationship without having to do too much damage control. Whether or not he really means it, you probably are too good for him. Read More »