Like Katy Perry, and probably many of you, I kissed a girl. And I liked it. More than once.

Most times it was the result of inebriation and the desperate urging of one of my horny guy friends at a party. But regardless how I got there, I’m always surprised by how pleasantly different it feels to kiss a girl than a guy. I guess the whole thing just feels softer and slower, and usually tastes better (like cherry chapstick?). You get smooth, pillowy lips as compared to thin, chapped ones. There’s no stubble. And with girls, tongue action is more equal, as opposed to some guys’ tendency to overpower your mouth.

Lately I’ve been wondering if kissing a girl is so different, what would having sex with a girl be like? The thought has left me awake at night with lots of questions, confusion and curiosity. When it comes to trying out the other team, there’s just so much to consider…

First of all, what does that make me?
I’m very, totally and extremely certain that I’m not gay (just ask one of the guys I’m dating). But I’m definitely not 100% straight if I’m thinking about girls this way, right? Bi-curious would probably be the best term to describe me and that’s totally fine. Actually, I think I read somewhere that most people fall in the middle on the Kinsey Scale of sexuality. There are definitely more bi-sexuals sitting among us in lecture than we think there are and, in my opinion, they’re get the best of both worlds! Read More »

I remember watching Say Anything with my sister when I was a kid and wondering if all men were as sweet as Lloyd Dobbler, standing outside a girl’s house with a boom box over his head. Obviously I had a rude awakening when I got to dating age and realized that high school guys were actually kinda jerks. I never got a big romantic gesture, Valentines, or even a cute note in class.

After meeting Matt in college and falling in love, I realized that those high school boys were still pretty eh, but I also learned that it doesn’t take some grand romantic gesture to be a sweet guy. It’s all the little things Matt does for me that really mean the most.

Last week I was in Wisconsin for my grandpa’s funeral. Since it was such short notice, my mom couldn’t afford to fly Matt up with me so he stayed at home while I was gone for a week. When I finally returned to Texas, I was coming down the elevator at the airport to meet him and he walked up the escalator just so he could give me a kiss and a hug a little bit earlier. He totally swept me off my feet, and with him just being his usual impatient self.

I’ve learned that guys don’t really like the big romantic gestures because most of the time they’re afraid they’ll either: A. screw it up somehow, B. embarrass themselves, C. get rejected, or D. all of the above. So honestly, the big romantic things are pretty rare, and while that means they should still be valued when they DO come along, you have to pay attention and enjoy the smaller things.

I for one love to get the random text at 2 in the afternoon that just says “i love you” when I’ve been having a bad day. It turns my entire day around from crappy to awesome. Or when Matt lets me have the last Dr. Pepper in the fridge. Such a gentlemen! I’ve learned not to expect amazing over-the-top romantic nights from Matt and I’m perfectly happy with that. As women we need to stop putting so much pressure on men to be romantic when just letting them be them can make us so much happier. Read More »

Hey Dude,

I’ve done the Friends With Benefits thing, and, to say the least, I’m not cut out for it.  Now I have this amazing guy in my life who I consider my best friend, but I’m confused over how I’m supposed to know if he likes me as in a relationship sense or if he just wants to sleep with me.

He texts me quite often, even if just to say hi or to see what I’m up to, or make sure I’m feeling better when I’m sick.  We’ve gone out before with mutual friends and had a blast.  We’re both more of homebodies, so he comes over to my place now regularly and we hang out.  We’ve made out, but I end it before it goes any further because I don’t want the Friends With Benefits thing to happen.

So, how do I know?!

Thanks,
Confused Read More »

"I'm smiling but if she doesn't take out the garbage soon I'm going to punch her in the face."

Did you ever wake up, peer out groggily from under the sheets at your roommate who is still passed out in her bed across the room, and wonder why the eff you two are living together? Sure, it seemed like a good idea last year when you perused flea markets for cheap futons together. It even seemed to still make sense just a month ago when you were first getting used to each others’ loveable quirks. But then one day, it just hits you, like a shot of tequila.

Who is this girl that you thought you knew?
Why does she do that weird sh*t all the time?
Most importantly, how are you going to survive the year without completely snapping and throwing a beer can at her head?

I really hope none of you are going through this, but if you are, I can relate. As I type this, I am being serenaded by Lauren, my cute-as-a-teacup friend and roommate. I’m not sure what song it is, but I’m fairly certain it’s from the musical, Rent (I loathe musicals). She has a lovely voice, and who doesn’t enjoy the occasional serenade, right? Well, it happens to me probably three to five times a day on average, and it’s ALWAYS when I’m trying to actually accomplish something school-related. I don’t know why she can’t sing at me when I’m procrastinating, painting my nails, watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia online, or just sitting around, which, realistically, is 75% of the time. Why is it always when I’m busy? Read More »

When I broke up with my last boyfriend I was ecstatic to have my personal time back. It had been a long time since I’d had my own routine and I couldn’t wait to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I had grand plans of daily visits to the gym, cooking my weird healthy meals and eating them on the couch while watching marathons of Say Yes To The Dress.

I gained ten pounds during that relationship and while he didn’t care – he loved seeing me in the buff despite the extra junk in my trunk – I was ready to take back the control of my life, shed the extra weight, and hit the single scene with my svelte new frame.

Only the reality was so, so different.

Not only is the single scene rather sad and over-saturated with douche bags, but being single is actually making me fatter!

There is something to be said about having someone around, and not just for the comfort and companionship that comes with a boyfriend. Passing the time with someone else keeps your mind occupied so you’re talking and cuddling and giggling instead of mentally surveying what’s in your fridge. And, not that I care about eating in front of a boy (trust me – I ate a burger and fries in front of some models once), but having anyone around forces me to check myself before I start grazing through the cupboards and housing anything I can get my hands on. Now that I’m alone I’m to my own devices, and apparently those devices involve dipping everything into peanut butter, whether I’m hungry or not.

And forget the gym. Since I don’t have anyone to look good for, I often give in to that fat little devil sitting on my shoulder and trade in Spinning time for catching-up-on-my-DVR time. I keep telling myself I’ll go tomorrow; I have so much free time, why wouldn’t I go? But then I don’t go. I put on sweats, think of things to melt cheese on and retire to the couch for the rest of the night. Read More »

I decided to take a different approach to this weekend’s Saturday Read. Usually, I try to recommend my readers a great book. But this week, I’m looking to use a book to make a point.

“I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell” is a controversial memoir by Tucker Max. If you read this website as religiously as I do, you know all about our feelings on this guy. If you are a newcomer and or live under a rock somewhere and have never heard of Max, here is his life:

Average guy.
Started a website.
Sleeps with women.
Posts his stories about the horrible things he does to said women.
Published this book and then turned it into a movie.
Guys laugh. Girls laugh.

Now, let me just say this as my disclaimer: I DO NOT AGREE WITH TUCKER MAX. I don’t think that any of the things that he does to women are right and, if they happened to me, I’m sure I would have some psychological damage. However, I have a hard time believing the truth in all of his stories (as 10% of a biography or memoir can be embellished). If you’ve read the book, you know the ridiculous things I’m talking about. And, yes, assuming that his stories are somehow exaggerated does make me feel a bit less guilty while laughing at them.

But, my point… Read More »

Email your pressing questions to TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for the chance to get a pressing answer! You dig?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

My boyfriend is a racist. Not the kind that’s making racist remarks all the time, but he says things that I think are racist and then he says they’re just a joke. But it makes me really uncomfortable because it makes me feel like I’m a racist too because I’m not stopping him.

Should I keep dating my boyfriend? We’ve been together for a year and otherwise I really love him. He’s a really good guy, but when he says things like that I don’t know what to do.

Carrie

Dear Carrie,

Well, you didn’t give any examples, so it’s hard to say. But here’s what Tuffy thinks:

I know it’s painful, but you gotta sit your guy down and tell him how you feel. Say, “Tommy (can I call your boyfriend Tommy?), Tommy, I don’t like the things you’re saying about [whatever group he's racist in the general direction of]. Where is this coming from?” Read More »

"I love beer....er... I mean you. I love you."

It’s pretty obvious that couples who share interests get along better. But what about vices? Does a love of trashy reality TV or boozing it up on the weekends make for a stronger pair? Yes, according to a study done by the University of Buffalo. In fact, the happiest couples of all are those with a shared love of hitting the bottle.

Basically, the couple who boozes together, cruises together.

That’s great news to us college students who love drinking almost as much as dating (okay, maybe we love it a little more). But now combining the two is a good thing? This is heaven to our horny, drunk ears. And, when you think about it, it all makes perfect sense:

Alcohol eases tension. What do we all do when we’re having a bad day/fuming mad? Yes, we pour ourselves a drink (then eat a brownie) and suddenly everything feels better. So obviously fights go away quicker in relationships when both couples love a little booze. You start fighting, you start drinking and soon no one remembers what you were fighting about in the first place.

Alcohol makes us tolerant. People are 50 times less annoying when we have a buzz on. The way he chomps on his food may drive you up the wall normally, but with some alcohol in our systems, those little pet peeves aren’t nearly as annoying. They might even be kinda cute (see #5 below). Read More »

Stay away. Stay far, far away.

Making your way through the landmine that is the world of college dating is tricky. You have to make sure to bypass the clingy, the crazy and the man-whores before you can settle down in a safe zone. But just like my favorite computer procrastination game, Minesweeper, there are red flags that you have to pay heed to, lest you detonate a mine, or a relationship gone sour.

Red Flag #5: His idea of a date is using a meal swipe on you at the dining hall. I see a long line of Denny’s dates in your future.

Red Flag #4: You finally get invited to spend the night in his dorm room. But upon arriving you notice his collection of navel fluff in jars lining his book shelves. If the guy is collecting his own belly button lint, chances are you were going to wake up later that night and find him finger-diving for yours.

Red Flag #3: The only time he ever calls you is to ask if you’ve filled your Adderall prescription. Your doctor-diagnosed disease has turned you into his and his friends personal drug-dealer come exam time. You have to ask yourself, does he love you or your ADD?

Red Flag #2: We all want our roommates to like our boyfriends. It makes it easier to sexile them come the weekend. But if you find him spending more time with her than with you, don’t ignore this red flag. Unless you’re interested in a threesome, don’t be surprised if you wake up and he’s spooning your roomie instead of you. Read More »

Long distance relationships suck. End of story. But what about semi-long distance relationships? You know, the guys who live all the way on the other side of campus. Sure, it may only be a mile but that’s like having hoes in different area codes when you’re in college. There are different restaurants over there, different bars; it’s a whole new world.

I recently ended things with a guy who lived across campus. The whole thing was just so hard. Everything was such a process and neither of us ever wanted to go back to the other’s place just knowing how freaking long that walk home would be (or how expensive the cab ride). I tried to make it work but our combined laziness made it impossible. So I shipped him off to his side of campus and decided to look closer to home for my newest conquest.

And I found one who lived just up the street. Score! My life was now complete, right? Well, sorta. Turns out, dating a guy close to home has its own set of problems. And by problems I mean I never know when he’s gonna pop up on my walk home. From the gym. When I’m a hot, sweaty mess.

I’m sorta stuck at the moment on what would make the best no-strings-attached situation, so I decided to make a list weighing out the benefits of dating a neighbor vs. doing the cross-campus booty commute. Let’s see what we’re dealing with: Read More »