[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

I was with my boyfriend for three months the first time sex (and, simultaneously, something else, if you know what I’m sayin’….) presented itself. It was his birthday, we were in his bed, neither of us were wearing clothes, and after an hour of a whole lot of other stuff, I was ready for it.

And it was my first time.

“Baby, let’s do it.” I breathed into his ear. Yes, I know it wasn’t the most eloquent proposal, but gimme a break. How many of you are poets between the sheets?

He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. I expected some romance. Not like John Mayer would walk in and start playing in the background or that we’d have the kind of intense sex I’d seen (far too many times) in The Notebook. But, you know, I thought he’d be happy about it. I did not expect:

“OK, but I don’t want you to get all clingy and stuff.” Read More »

He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

In the economics of relationships, things seem relatively simple. You invest parts of you in hopes of getting something in return, be it love, affection, respect or in some cases of a Tiffany’s princess cut. The same applies to the economics of sex. When things are getting down and dirty you’re hoping at the end of all of it, you aren’t left down and out. Returning the favor is simple economics – what you get should equal (if not, surpass) what you put in.

At the risk of sounding anti-feminist, returning the favor (while it is not always something a girl looks forward to…especially after a guy’s had 10 vodka Red Bulls) is only fair. Strictly speaking in terms of giving and receiving, reciprocation makes sense because it balances the scale. Returning the favor is not necessary, but it is considerate. The guy just worked his tongue off to rock your world, after all, it’s only fair you do the same.

But, and there’s always a but, every rule carries with it a list of exceptions. Here are just a few of mine: Read More »

In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.

So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.

So you’re in the middle of a particularly “blah” dinner date and your date launches into (yet another) story about quail season and you’re about to give up all hope and consider joining a convent just so you’ll never have to put yourself through this kind of cruel and unusual punishment ever again.

Look, I know where you’re coming from. You start to drink heavily standing by the reasoning that if your date refuses to have a personality, you’ll just have to let the liquor create one for him. You keep glancing at your cell wondering why your best friend has yet to call with your routine emergency date rescue call. We’ve all been there. It’s those nights that being single gets such a bad rep.

So why is that after such awful dates we still waver when considering a follow-up date?

Lesson 8: Trust your instincts. Read More »

In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.

So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.

Lesson 7: Being Single Doesn’t Mean Being On The Prowl 24/7

Look ladies, we’re single, we’re not in heat! Somehow single girls picked up this stereotype of being blood-thirsty, man-chasing robots and I, for one, think it’s about time we rid ourselves of this awful (but mostly just vomit-inducing) image.

Half the fun of being is single is knowing that your time is 100 percent yours – you decide how you spend it and who you spend it with. Why commit all of your time to finding someone else when you’ve already got yourself?

Lately I’ve encountered girls who feel the need to guilt and reprimand themselves for forgoing makeup during a daytime lunch for fear that, gasp, a man would look over! Before I can even verbally assault them, the girls pull out their compact mirrors to swipe on gloss, fluff up their hair and put on their best pouty face. (What’s that lipstick shade called again? Oh yeah, Desperation.) I’ve never seen such beautiful girls in such an ugly light. Read More »

In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.

So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.

So it’s the New Year and you’ve been up in the gym workin’ off the pounds you gained this break, doing your best to make your 2011 resolutions actually pan out this year. Well here’s one to consider implementing into your dating regimen to really shake up your single life.

Lesson 6: Take a chance on someone you don’t think is your “type.”

Every girl is guilty of settling into a type of guy. Whether it’s the frat-tastic guy in the pink polo or the brooding tortured artist, we all pine for certain types of guys. And have you ever noticed it’s those “types” that keep leaving you with mascara tears and Mint Milano overdoses?

2011 is the year to rid yourself of your “type.” So what if you’re into Southern gentlemen and the guy asking you out doesn’t drive a pickup truck? So what if the guy in front of you doesn’t go to a country club to appease to your yuppie taste? And so what if your date doesn’t play guitar?

Just because you’re branching out doesn’t mean you have to abandon your “type” all together. Just think of it as broadening your horizons. Read More »

Someone once told me that the reason I’m still single is because my standards are too high. I laughed in her face, flipping through a mental catalog of the disgusting creatures who’ve woken up in my bed.  “Au contraire,” I told her. “I think my standards are non existent.”

But last night, as I enjoyed a large DQ Blizzard while watching the latest drama on The Real Housewives of New York, I started reflecting on my dating past and why none of those boys are in my dating present. I grabbed a piece of paper (Ok, the back of a takeout menu…it was closer) and began listing all of the guys I’ve met/gotten naked with.

To my horror, the list had more dishes than the Chinese menu it was written on.

Next to each name I wrote down why that particular dude didn’t work out. Over half of the list consisted of “d-bag didn’t call me back,” or “don’t know his real name,” but the rest were my own doing. And after seeing it all written down on paper, I began to see my friend may have been right.

Reasons I’ve rejected boys: Read More »

[We ladies spend a lot of time wondering what guys are thinking, most often over stiff drinks or soupy ice cream. Unfortunately, besides The Dude, we don't often get the chance to really find out. So we continue speculating, wondering and growing more and more self-conscious by the minute. Not anymore. CollegeCandy's got a new guy in town who is going to open up his man brain and enlighten us as to what exactly goes on in there. Prepare yourselves, girls; I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting ride.]

- The very back row of the lecture hall.
- The bathrooms of every restaurant/bar within 10 miles of campus.
- The floor of your dorm or apartment.
- Any place you can get your hair or nails done.
- At the clothing racks of retail stores.

No, I’m not listing the top five places to have sex (though the last two would be sorta exciting/weird….). I’m talking about the most likely places you will overhear college women debating if their new guy is looking for a relationship or just looking for ass. We all know guys avoid the title of “boyfriend“ like it was an invitation to watch a Golden Girls marathon, but there are some nice guys still out there that do actually want to be someone’s boyfriend.

So how does a woman know if her guy is part of this endangered species?

Well, let’s backtrack a little.

Read More »

I think too much.  And when it comes to turning over the sheets, my mind goes into over-drive.  In fact, I have been known to ruin an entire sexual experience by thinking too much about the position I’m in – my physical movements, how big my thighs look, trying to read his thoughts like an Edward Cullen girl hybrid.

I’ve been looking for a cure for my problem for months.  Why can’t I just relax, sit back, and enjoy? What can I possibly do to block the free-flowing thoughts and get into the moment?  I know there is nothing emotionally wrong with me; I’m a normal girl and just like every other girl out there, my mind is riddled with thoughts.  Mine just happen to reproduce like a cluster of horny bunny rabbits whenever I get nakie and start doing the nasty.

Luckily, there is always a solution to my problems!  And this time, altering my mind may have a little something to do in altering my position.

A little back story:
While hiding from the Black Friday crowds in an empty bookstore last week, a certain title caught my eye. And that title was “Spectacular Sex Moves He’ll Never Forget.” I ducked down in the aisle and began flipping through, intrigued by the yoga-turned-sex moves I discovered. That night, fueled by some leftover wine, my boyfriend and I tried one out. And it was a night neither of us will soon forget.

Since then, we’ve been toying around with many fun and interesting new sex positions (which I’m sure will be even more fun when we’re no longer crashing in my parents’ basement) and I have to say, my sex life will never be the same. If you’re like me and tend to stick with the more traditional approach to sex (“I lie, you do all the work”), take it from me: it’s time to crack a book and get a little more adventurous between the sheets.

Why? I’m glad you asked. Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. Sometimes with mean words. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like transgender basketball players!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Who among us has never Facebook stalked? Anyone? Seriously, anyone? It’s easy and mostly harmless, so we all do it a little bit sometimes to see how much less awesome your ex’s new girlfriend is than you, or to find out if that cutie in you American Lit class is single (and into women). It’s not a big deal, right? But when does it cross the line? According to research, one third of women check their significant other’s web browser history to see what their partners been surfing and 1 in 10 has actually hacked into their SO’s email and personal accounts to keep an eye on them. Is this just a natural extension of our tech savvy, in-everybody’s-personal-business lives, or has technology turned us into creepy Fatal Attraction candidates?

On one side, I totally get it. You’re using your guy’s laptop and the history is right there, so easy to check; it’s the exact same allure that draws guys to want to know what we carry in our purses. It’s probably not that most of these women are checking to see if their guy is frequenting online dating sites or creepy fetish porn; more than likely it’s nothing more than simple curiosity, the same way you check out what’s on someone’s bookshelf to see what they like to read. The email thing, I have a little harder time with, but still, if there’s an insecurity there and a quick peek will make a girl feel better, then as long as the guy doesn’t have anything to hide, what’s the big deal?

Read More »

Question? Answer: TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I am currently a single freshman girl in college.  Coming to college, there was a ton of stuff to be excited about.  But like most single freshman girls I had one things on my mind: COLLEGE BOYS.  I came here with the mentality that I was going to meet a bunch of boys, have some fun, and just play the field.  While that plan worked flawlessly for a while, I have now found myself in a rather sticky situation.

I was talking to a boy all summer long, and I really started to like him.  Over summer he was in a different state, so we could only communicate electronically. He goes to a private school in the same town as my university, so naturally in the fall we started hanging out all the time.  I was really starting to like this boy, and so I decided to ask him to accompany me to my sister’s wedding.  My family loved him and we had a great time, but after the wedding my feelings for him kind of started dwindling.  I texted him a little less and made our sleepovers a lot less frequent.

All the while, I had other boys on the side.  Cute boy in my building, boy from out of town, boy from the gym (I’m still single after all). So my point is that even when I really liked this boy, he wasn’t the only one in my life.

So jump to a few weeks later, when the fire alarm in the library goes off.  All of us studious college kids had to pack up our things and stand outside the lib until they let us back in.  While standing outside, this very cute boy starts talking to me.  We get caught up in conversation and eventually realize we have one of the same classes, which sparks an exchange of phone numbers.

After our first encounter and number exchange, we start hanging out quite a bit.  And the weirdest thing happens; I have NO desire to hangout with or hookup with any of those other sideline boys.

Read More »