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How to get back to dating basics
Love lessons from Bill Clinton
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How long should you wait to have sex?
Who are Hollywood’s hottest couples?
Why do couples dress alike?
Setting boundaries in a relationship
Tired of waiting around for him to notice you? Despite years of Disney’s social conditioning, it’s time to enter the reality that is the modern dating scene. Prince Phillip doesn’t exist, girls, and you’re not a princess. For all the other areas of society that women are dominating, why should we shy away from approaching a romantic endeavor with a similar gusto? Why don’t we ask him out? Common reasons include: fear of rejection, laziness, society’s insistence that he should chase you. Can we all just relax? He’s not approaching you for the very same reasons: fear of rejection, laziness, the pressure from society’s insistence that he has to pursue you. If I waited on every guy I noticed to approach me, I might as well join a convent.
So how do you do it? In order to really understand how men would like to be approached, I hand selected 15 able gentlemen to question. These are exactly the kinds of guys you want to date: smart, successful, funny and beautiful. The first thing I wanted to know was, “Do guys want to be approached by women, or is it emasculating?” Every single guy said they are on board if it’s done the right way. Here’s what a few of them had to say:
When it’s over, is it over forever? Can’t there be a way to forgive and forget? Forgive and move forward? There’s no question that a lot of people do attempt to cultivate a second, third…twenty-fifth, chance with an ex, but it never seems to work out. This isn’t rocket science (though I’ll bet rocket scientists would have a hard time identifying all the variables in this equation), whatever the problem, so there has to be a way to solve it. Well, dear readers, I give you a bit of a cautionary — yet hopeful — guide to the risks and rewards of getting back with your ex.
Motivation. The why. Before you’re rushing back in, you’ve got to look at what’s got you so eager. If it’s loneliness, don’t. If it’s fear of being alone, don’t. If it’s because you’ve got nothing better on your plate, don’t. You broke up for a good reason, perhaps several. What’s changed since? 99 times out of 100 you can’t, and shouldn’t, jump back to the place you left things, after all it was the place you left things…the bad place. No one wants to go to the bad place! There was something you wanted and didn’t get, or something you needed that you hadn’t had, and the question is whether or not you’ve gotten it on your own and can move forward, or you’ve compromised on how to attempt to fill those voids for each other. Read More »
We’ve all been there. A few times. You meet a guy who seems awesome–he’s super cute, funny, charming and has a fabulous job or some sexy artistic ability. Over martinis with the girls you gush about how great he is and how much you have in common. I mean, you’ve just met, but you’re practically soul mates, right? I’ll speak from personal experience. I’m attracted to confident, beautiful and talented men. I can’t help it. It’s not about a certain ‘type’ or laundry list of criteria, because those three adjectives can fit a number of looks and occupations. My friends will tell you that I date ass-holes. Do I like falling for these guys? No. No girl does. And it’s not about nice guys finishing last. It’s about a rarity in a particular combination of desirable characteristics. Stay with me. Most confident, beautiful and talented men humans are a bit self-centered. Because they can be. Is it possible for confident, beautiful and talented people to also be kind, selfless and good? Absolutely. They are just harder to find.
In all my years of dating douche bags, my radar has become incredibly keen. I have compiled a list of red flags that communicate your man is not worth it and should be dropped immediately. He won’t change for you, and he won’t change for the girl he meets after you (although she may be insecure enough to put up with him). Read More »
Last week a few of y’all called me out for waving my cynicism flag. Fair enough — at times I can be bitter. We each of us have our sore spots. But this week our topic is a bit more upbeat, so I’ll try to keep the sardonic barbs to a minimum. The thing about writing a weekly column such as this is that it can very easily denigrate into a downright b*tch-fest if you let it. B*tching and moaning each week about the follies and foibles of men can be disheartening and, ultimately, unproductive. So, when contemplating this week’s topic, I decided to take a slightly different view of things. I could punch out a diatribe demanding more cunnilingus and begging for more compliments, but that’s not truly what I want more of from men. So let’s take a look: What do I really want?
-I want more of the good things. All those good things you do? Yeah, I want more.
-I want more nights when we stay up until 5am, talking and laughing.
-I want more of those drunken deep-and-meaningfuls that end in companionable silence and general contentment. Read More »
Let’s celebrate small boobs.
4 tips for a sexier voice.
How to get someone write a Missed Connection about you.
Do you love pin ups?
Only follow these tips if you want a miserable sex life.
Could you pick a favorite?
5 sexy secrets from a burlesque star.
What do you know about love?
Use these scents to make yourself sexier.
Dear friends who thought I would stop ranting about Valentine’s Day once I was in a relationship, I’m sorry; you were mistaken.
I know I’m not the only person that rants about V-Day (coupled or otherwise). My new favourite Tumblr account, Occupy Valentine’s Day, proves it. Created by Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining Your Life author (and Executive Editor of Feministing), Samhita Mukhopadhyay, the site is collecting stories of love that are not limited to the commercial definition. The site wants to change the culture of romance. For my contribution I’m going to share some facts you might not have known about V-Day.
You wake up. You reach over to your bedside table, grab your ringing phone and click the dismiss button to stop the alarm. Phone still in hand, you rub your left eye, but leave the right one open and peek at the device in your palm. Eleven new emails and four texts. You check them sleepily–texts from your mom, your sister and two from your best friend. Then move on to the emails–one from work, a few from school, some announcing sales at your favorite stores and lastly, a notification that John Smith wants to be your friend on Facebook. John Smith? Who is that?
Getting out of bed, you plop down in front of your computer and pull up the social networking site. You check out John Smith, but still don’t know who he is. Then you realize he has sent you a message. “Hey, we met at a bar the other night. It wasn’t anything big, we just introduced ourselves. How are you?” You still don’t really remember him, but you accept the friend request anyway. Then you go back to your news feed, where you see that your friend in Texas has put up new pictures. Clicking through them, you realize you haven’t talked to her in almost two years, but still know most of what’s going on in her life. Read More »
Casual sex is…well, rarely casual. More times than not it ends with frustration, regret and overuse of the word ‘asshole.’ And let’s be honest, the pissed-at-the-world scale generally tips towards the ladies. How is it that men appear more successful at ‘handling’ their casual relationships?
While some may argue that men have an easier time separating sex and emotion, I don’t believe that is the defining attribute. I think men are just better at picking their casual partners. When a guy says, “Oh, I would never be serious with this girl,” it’s because he means it. He doesn’t get emotional or attached because he chooses a girl he would never get attached to. Is casual sex possible for women? Absolutely. But if we want to enter the same playing field, we have to play by the same rules. Ladies, I give you the 10 Commandments of Casual Sex.
Proposition 8 was overturned, and now we have to see that lesbian comedienne Ellen Degeneres as the new face of JCPenney? Where on EARTH will I shop now? Ladies, we’ve got to do something about this. Let’s protest that crazy talk show host so that her homosexuality doesn’t taint all our kids’ back-to-school clothes and our Christmas shopping.
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