Yeah, that's me. As Octomom. Never. Having. Sex. Again.

I have a good life: a job I love, a closet full of fantastic clothes, and some pretty rad friends and family. But even with all that I am always wondering what it would be like to trade places with someone else for a day.

Like my friend Amy – I’ve always wanted to know what it is like to have big boobs and a teeny, tiny waist. Or Octomom – spending a single day with 14 kids will teach me not to skip the condom when I’m in the heat of the moment. Or pretty much any celebrity with oodles of money and people bowing down to them wherever they go.

I’m pretty sure everyone – no matter how content – would give anything (even that coveted slice of drunken late-night pizza) to be someone else for one day. So this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers which celebrity they’d want to trade places with.

Who do you wanna be?

Thu – USC: I’d be Oprah and give away houses this time.

Kayla – California State University, Sacramento: Maybe I would be Heidi Montag. It might be nice to not have to use my brain for one day.

Kathryn – University of Wisconsin-Madison: I would want to trade places with Renee Zellweger. ONLY because she’s reportedly dating Bradley Cooper. Yum.

Elizabeth – UC Berkeley: Jennifer Aniston.  She’s hot and, let’s face it, everybody secretly roots for Team Aniston. Read More »

Welcome to Something Old, Something New, a weekly review of a new theater/DVD release and an old release that is in some way related to the new film.

Something Old: Texas Chainsaw Massacre – The Next Generation (1995)

Something New: Prom Night (2008)

The Connection: Both are remakes of classic horror films.

There are three categories of horror films. The first category is the Good Horror Movie. Believable, well-written, well-acted, fundamentally disturbing, the Good Horror Movie is rarely achieved, but when it is it can be one of the most memorable viewing experiences an audience member will ever have.

The second category is the Frickin’ Awesome Horror Movie. The Frickin’ Awesome Horror movie is, in fact, so terrible that it is totally amazing. Sometimes this is intentional (see: Cabin Fever), sometimes accidental (see: Plan 9 From Outer Space), but it’s a delight either way, and makes for excellent group viewings. The final category of horror films is the plain old Generic Crap Horror Movie. A vast majority of horror films fall in to this category and, sadly, the newest version of Prom Night is one of them. Read More »

My heart just sank.

Jim from The Office and Renée Zellweger? My Jim? How can this be?

The sarcastic, quick-witted, floppy-haired, big-smiled Jim, I realize, is just a fictional character in one of my favorite TV shows. But John Krasinski still one tall drink of water in real life, and he’s making a football new movie called Leatherheads.

Now, In Touch Weekly and whole spew of gossip blogs have reported that he’s hooking up with co-star Zellweger. It’s just because they both have confusing last names. Yep. Gotta be the reason.

While I don’t have anything against Renée – she is amazing at losing weight and she was awesome in Empire Records, Bridget Jones, and Jerry Maguire – she just doesn’t seem to possess the humor and playfulness Jim (I mean John) needs in a woman! You know who does? ME.

Why can’t she get back with Leatherheads’ director and star, George Clooney? They used to date before she married funny-looking Kenny Chesney, and were said to be on-again, off-again after the divorce. Well….go back to on-again, missy. Jim (I mean John) is MINE.

Well…Thursday nights from 8:30 to 9PM, anyway.