Let’s say that you fixate on ‘toning up’ your arms and that you start doing bicep curls with three or five pound weights and a high number of repetitions per set. But after two weeks, you don’t see any results, so you give up.

Do you want to know why that didn’t work?

Because there is no such thing as toning up. All of those bicep curls that you do with three pounds weights? That starts you down the path that you want to go on, but what you’ve got to do is put down the puny weights and pick up those heavier bad boys.

If you were working with three pounds, move up to five; if you were at five, move up to eight and so on. Do 12 reps, rest for a minute, repeat the set and after another one minute rest, complete the final set of twelve. You don’t want to do two or three sets of 12 – 15 reps with such ease that you didn’t actually work the muscle.

Yes, the heavier weights can be intimidating but that’s no reason to stay away from them. Perhaps you’re afraid of ‘bulking up’. Well, fear not, because women simply lack the testosterone to bulk up and look anything remotely like those scary ginormous body builders.

And if those muscle heads at the gym intimidate you or you don’t want to deal with a gym at all, buying sets of dumb bells at varying weights are all you need to work out at home or in your room.

I know people who have been discouraged because they insist that they’ve bulked up when the truth is that they’ve built muscle under the fat stores that they haven’t lost. In the first couple of weeks that you start a weight training program, the scale will show a slight weight gain, but the scale doesn’t accurately track your progress – the fit of your clothes and how you look in the mirror are the true indicators.

Despite what’s been pounded into our heads about working out from infomercials and just plain false information, there is no such thing as spot reducing, no miracle instant cure and ‘toning’ just isn’t going to happen.

Muscles either get bigger or get smaller. You get stronger or you get weaker. We mistakenly use the word ‘tone’ to mean ‘get lean.’ So if you want those stronger muscles to show, then the only way to do that is to lose body fat.

Let’s go back to the arms scenario. Genetically, we are all preprogrammed to store fat in certain places first and unfortunately the last place you gain fat is the last place that you lose it. To lose fat on your arms, you can’t just work your upper body. What hinders our progress is looking at our body in parts, because if that is how you see it, then that is how you will work it. We need to shift our perspective and work the whole body in order to make the changes that we want to see.

There are three components to making those muscles show:

1) Weight training

2) Cardiovascular exercise

3) Healthy diet

Weight training is the absolute best thing that you can do to make real changes to your body. It will not give you instant results but over time, it is the most effective because the more lean mass that you have, the higher your metabolism. A pound of muscle burns about 60 calories per day. A pound of fat burns about 5 calories per day. Five pounds of fat is the equivalent size of a grapefruit; five pounds of muscle take up the space of a tangerine.

Cardio is also key but keep in mind that you can do cardio to your heart’s content, but if you aren’t properly fueling your body, then you’re shortchanging yourself. Your basal metabolic rate is the number of calories that your body burns if you don’t move all day. Whatever that number is, you should NOT go below that.

To help you along further, websites like Calorieking.com and Fitday.com are great tools for figuring out how many calories are in the foods that you eat and calculating how many grams of fat, protein and carbohydrates that you’re eating per day.

Working out doesn’t mean that you can eat whatever you want; it means that you don’t want any kind of nutritional deficit by eating the foods that are devoid of the nutrients that your body needs.

This website looks daunting I know, but someone recommended it to me and it really gives some great tips. You don’t need to go in and be able to bench 100 pounds. Work at your own pace and you’ll be amazed at the changes you see and how strong you can become.

I like to break it down this way:

Day #1: Chest, shoulders, back

Day #2: Legs and abs

Day #3: Biceps and triceps

As an example for day one, I recommend trying the following moves:

For shoulders: the shoulder press or rear delt row with free weights.

For the chest: the bench press, using free weights or the machine

For the back: dumbell shrugs, the lat pull down machine, and the barbell bent over row.

What’s great about this website is it shows you how to lift properly. Correct form means better and injury free results.

Alternate the muscle groups that you work and do not underestimate the importance of resting; you actually build lean mass while you are at rest.

So get your weight lifting gloves and get to work! In four to six weeks, you will be thrilled with the results.

Well, we found six awesome moves in a back issue of SELF that will make you a blue-jean babe in just one month. Just perform three sets of 12 reps of each exercise three days a week and on non-consecutive days:

Pigeon Toes

Stand with toes together, heels out, hands on hips. Contract abs as you slowly lift heels, rising onto balls of feet. Hold for two seconds. Lower to start and repeat.

Seated Leg Raise

Sit with right leg extended, foot flexed, and left knee bent, foot flat. Grasp the shin of left leg. Raise right leg a few inches off floor and sweep away from body. Hold for one count. Return leg to center. Switch legs.

Glute Sweeper

Start facedown, supported on forearms and right knee. Extend left leg behind you as high as you can, toes pointed. Contract abs and butt and slowly cross left leg behind left foot, reaching toes toward floor without touching down. Return leg to start and switch.

Sumo Strut

Stand with feet wider than hip width apart, toes out and extend arms at chest level, toes out, and extend arms at chest level, palms together. Bend knees at 45 degrees. Maintain wide squat as you take baby steps forward. With each step, move arms mechanically in a semi-circle, from left, to center, to right, then back to center to complete one rep.

Leg Tap

Stand with feet hip-width apart, hands on hips. Step back into a lunge with left leg, lowering until right thigh is parallel to floor. Shift weight to right leg and stand, knee soft. As left leg comes forward, tap back of right calf with left foot Return to lunge. Repeat and switch.

Butterfly Crunch

Lie faceup, arms at sides, palms down. Raise legs, bend knees to 90 degrees and hold legs together. With feet touching, opens knees and crunch up, then close legs. Continue to flutter legs open and closed while you crunch up and down.