It's all smiles when you communicate openly.

It’s back-to-school season and that should mean you’ve figured out your living situation for next year.  Regardless of where you’re living – be it in a 10X10 cell in the dorms or a dingy old apartment off campus – or who you’re living with, now’s the time to set ground rules and figure out how to make your living situation work for the school year.

I’ve had a lot of roommates – nine in four years to be exact.  I’ve also had varying degrees of success with roommates, and the common factor that determines whether things are good or bad in all situations is the level of communication.  If you communicate early on about what you want your living situation to look like, it will make things easier in the long run, guaranteed.

To help you start the conversation with your roommate, here is a list of questions you should be sure to ask. Will it be weird to bring these up with the stranger assigned to you by the school? Maybe, but 3 months from now, you’ll be glad you had the awkward convo.

1.  What’s your stance on overnight guests?
This question can refer to both friends visiting and people you are hooking up with.  Figuring out your policy on this question is probably one of the most important.  You’ll want to figure out how often people can stay, if it’s okay if anyone stays over on a school night, and, if you share a bedroom, what the roommate is supposed to do. I don’t think I need to tell you this, but it is NOT okay to hook up while the other person is sleeping in the same room, even if they’re passed out.

2. Do you smoke – cigarettes or otherwise?
Most residences try to keep smokers and non-smokers apart.  If you are a non-smoker living with a smoker, try and set up a designated smoke area outside, and have rules about cigarette butts.  Finding out if your roommates do drugs is also important, as you should make them aware if you are not comfortable having them use (or bring their shady lady friends over) in your place of residence. Read More »

College pranks generally include duct taping someone’s door, moving a school mascot across campus to another location, writing dirty messages in chalk throughout a parking lot, posting fake fliers for crazy sex parties, and maybe even sometimes, throwing tar on a fraternities front lawn at 4am. What about the word “bitch” being written over and over again on someone’s whiteboard? Does that count as a prank? If that counts, where is the line drawn?

As I danced through (and let me say, there was a lot of dancing on the weekends) my spring semester of freshman year, everything came to a screeching halt when I returned from class one day with the word bitch written in big letters across my whiteboard. My first intention was that my friends did it as a joke – no big deal. But when I asked them about it, they had no idea what I was talking about.

And then it happened again. And again. And nearly every time I left my room. It turned into this monotonous cycle, where bitch turned into other words, and when I say ‘other’ words I am talking about every negative synonym under the sun. Then messages were left letting me know that I was disliked, “hated” in fact, around campus. My door decorations disappeared or were ripped up. My name was even blacked out on the community bulletin board for my hall. Eventually, my whiteboard disappeared into the grungy abyss of my neon green hallway. Every time I shut my door or pretty much blinked, I had to prepare myself with what would be there next. Read More »

Roommates – you never know who or what you will get. While some people live blissfully together, others get stuck in a sticky situation. So sticky in fact, the administration in my situation couldn’t even wrap their upper-hand around it to help.

After first moving into my freshman dorm room that August, I anxiously awaited the arrival of my roommate, Mary (name changed). Finally, she walked in — leaving me with nervousness instead of anticipation. As I started to string my Hello Kitty lights next to my decorated bulletin boards, she started hanging her Hell Boy posters up next to her crucified scarecrow homemade ceramic creation. We were polar opposites (in an e-mail over the summer, she described herself as “stoic” while I replied with “enthusiastic” about myself). But I figured, college is a new experience and I wanted to soak it all in, so I told myself that Mary and I would work out, even if our outside appearances seemed at different ends of the college student spectrum.

But then my belongings started disappearing, and my food somehow made its way into her very own mini-fridge (we had 2 refrigerators for our room because she refused to e-mail me back throughout the summer about who was bringing what – a sign I should have paid attention to back then), and this ultimately started the downward spiral. Despite signing a roommate contract earlier in the semester, she disregarded nearly every single rule and when I called her out on it, she had no response. In fact, she didn’t really say much about anything, making our communication null and void. Read More »