Dear Residents,

Now that your boxes are unpacked and you’ve begun sneakily drinking and smoking illegal substances in your rooms, I feel it is time we had a little chat. There are a few things that we need to get clear right now so that we can all happily coexist for the remainder of the year.

I’d discuss all this in a hall meeting but it seems damn near impossible to find a time that works for everyone (even though we all agreed to that one time and then only 9 of you showed…awesome), so I’ll do it here instead. Lord knows you spend most of your day reading online anyway….

So here goes:

1.  I am NOT out to get you in trouble. In fact, I do everything I can to help you not get in trouble, because it makes my life easier. Every single time that I have to write somebody up for quiet hours violations, drinking in the dorms, or whatever stupid rule is being broken, that instantly translates to extra paperwork that I have to do. Plus, let’s face it (for the most part) I like my residents, and I don’t want to make your life any harder either. Not to mention that I don’t agree with these rules any more than you do. Seriously, why in the world should someone be sent to judicial for playing their music a little too loudly at night?! That’s bulls**t in my opinion, but I’m not the one who made the rules – I just got stuck enforcing them as part of my job. Read More »

College pranks generally include duct taping someone’s door, moving a school mascot across campus to another location, writing dirty messages in chalk throughout a parking lot, posting fake fliers for crazy sex parties, and maybe even sometimes, throwing tar on a fraternities front lawn at 4am. What about the word “bitch” being written over and over again on someone’s whiteboard? Does that count as a prank? If that counts, where is the line drawn?

As I danced through (and let me say, there was a lot of dancing on the weekends) my spring semester of freshman year, everything came to a screeching halt when I returned from class one day with the word bitch written in big letters across my whiteboard. My first intention was that my friends did it as a joke – no big deal. But when I asked them about it, they had no idea what I was talking about.

And then it happened again. And again. And nearly every time I left my room. It turned into this monotonous cycle, where bitch turned into other words, and when I say ‘other’ words I am talking about every negative synonym under the sun. Then messages were left letting me know that I was disliked, “hated” in fact, around campus. My door decorations disappeared or were ripped up. My name was even blacked out on the community bulletin board for my hall. Eventually, my whiteboard disappeared into the grungy abyss of my neon green hallway. Every time I shut my door or pretty much blinked, I had to prepare myself with what would be there next. Read More »

We love the internet for 2 main reasons:

1. We can do just about everything (shop, date, job hunt, talk to professors) in our underwear

2. We can procrastinate on everything in favor of the endless entertainment the inter-webs provide.

The sheer number of blogs and awesome websites out there is astounding…and nearly impossible to navigate. Which ones are good? Which ones are bad? Which ones will flash giant naked men on our screen? (Editor’s Note: Those are my favorite!) Which ones talk about all the stuff I want to hear?

That’s why we are here.

There are so many great college blogs out there and we want to share them with you. Because, after all, we college kids gotta stick together. So, here are a few of our favorites for today: Read More »

Vanessa Hudgens is a lucky bitch

The Dr.’s guide to the Shocker..

Cuddle up with Obama or McCain (…or Palin if that’s your thing)

1200 pound man gets married. And I’m still single.

The new, HOT way to take out the trash…

Baby, you can vote howeva you liiiiiike..

Celebrities in costumes: WTF is Amy Winehouse supposed to be?

Make your own energy bars!

Papa Lohan apologizes for the mean things he said about Linds’ girl…

Tales of an RA. Hilarious.

Wash your body for a cure.

Happy Birthday to our favorite bisexual Vietnamese bombshell

It’s September 2nd, which means we must tuck our bikinis back in their drawers, slather ourselves in aloe vera, and hang our heads low as we mourn the coming end of summer. This also means that school is starting again, and for incoming college freshmen this brings a whole new kind of dread.

Sure, you’re excited to meet new people, take classes you chose out of your course catalog, and maybe even explore a new city. But there are things to worry about. A lot of them. Maybe it’s that you’re living away from home for the first time, or living across the country. There are more things you need to be prepared for than just athlete’s foot in the communal showers (plastic sandals will take care of that).

As someone who survived four years and two colleges and managed to graduate with all four of my limbs and at least a bit of dignity, I feel I should imbue on you, humble reader, ten important lessons and tips to help you enjoy college safely and happily, from picking classes to surviving alcohol poisoning.

1. Make orientation week count. I skipped a lot of the activities scheduled for orientation week and later came to regret it. I didn’t want to wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston, but what I didn’t realize is that a lot of people did wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston and, in doing so, met all those other people who got up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston. You’re not going to meet people if you hole up in your room, so go out as often as you can.

2. Taste-test classes. So you didn’t get into that History of Watching TV class you really wanted to take, go to the first class or two anyway. You’ll be amazed at how many people drop out of the class and a space for you may become available. The same goes for a class with a bad teacher. If sucky prof is teaching a general ed class you have to take, visit the same class taught by a different teacher. In my experience, a great teacher can make any class interesting and enjoyable. Read More »

Listen up incoming freshmen: in a few weeks, you’re going to find yourself on a huge college campus full of more hook-up potential than you could ever dream. In the next few years, some of you will have long-term relationships, while many of you will engage in short-term hook-ups.

There are several types of college relationships that have an urban legend-esque feel to them: the sexy school girl and the married professor, the sexy school girl and the teaching assistant, and, of course, the sexy school girl and the resident assistant.

I have never hooked up with one of my RAs, but that’s because I’ve only ever had female RA’s. Still, I know plenty of people who have dabbled in these waters. I’m not here to condone or condemn the practice, because I’ve certainly had my fair share of regrettable trysts, but I am here to lay out some of the baggage that comes with such a hook up.

First of all, consider the fact that even inter-floor mating can lead to year-long awkwardness. If you fear the inevitable walk of shame, imagine the anxiety that comes with the chance that one of your floormates sees you leaving the RA’s room in last night’s bar clothes. Even if you survive the W.O.S, you risk the rumors and reputation — people are more apt to label someone “the girl that banged the RA” than “the chick who nailed whatshisname in 5B.” Even worse, if you can’t handle the tension of a chance meeting on the elevator (or on the way to the showers), you are biting off more than you can chew with by shacking up with your RA.

Your RA is someone you will probably have to turn to throughout the year. He’ll be the one to let you into your room when you are locked out wearing only a towel. This means he also has the master key to your room (not implying anything, just saying). He’s also someone who will have to keep tabs on you throughout the year. He’ll be writing you up for dorm parties, open containers, and that hole in your wall that you forgot to fix before move-out day. This fact alone can open up a brand new can of worms in Relationship Land. Read More »

So, you’ve just settled in to your campus, unpacked your essentials and have caught up with the necessary friends and college hook-ups and you’re all getting ready to go out for an evening of debauchery, you look into your wallet to grab some cash and – surprise – you’re broke.

If you’re tired of asking Mamadukes and Pops for some cash (or if they just plain won’t give ya any), a part-time job is necessary. Some college jobs can be a total buzzkill (hello scrubbing dishes at the dining commons), but others turn out not too shabby. Here’s a few I suggest:

1. Library. Every campus has one and there are TONS of jobs that need filling. It’s convenient, generally in the heart of the campus, AND it beats working for the dining halls. I spent my four years of college working for the Special Collections and Archives Department where I made around $10/hr, which was more than any other on-campus position around. I could work in between classes and I wound up making one of the best friends I have at that job, not to mention some excellent recommendations when real-life job time comes around. Try it, peeps. Head to the Circulation Department of your Library (or the college job website – there is one, if you didn’t know!) and see what departments are hiring.

2. Restaurants/Bars in town. Every campus has a “downtown” or “uptown” – the happening place on a Friday or Saturday night. If you can’t afford to spend money on drinks, get a job where your friends go; you can make loot and enjoy their company. It’s the best of both worlds. Just pop in to your favorite night hot spots and pick up some applications!

3. College Admin Office. Whether it’s the Administrative Office, the Bursar Office or another department in the Academic and Billing section of your campus, you can find a job that is accommodating to your schedule and pays decently. A friend of mine worked at one of the offices in the billing building and for graduation her boss got her a white gold necklace. Score! Read More »