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You may have made it through Welcome Week without any run-ins with the campus police (congrats!), but you still have plenty of opportunities to meet them up close and personal.

There are going to be many times this year and well into your college career that you will find yourself surrounded by alcohol. And, naturally, you are going to want to partake. Just beware–while you are navigating the university party scene, your RA’s, Campus Police, and Public Safety units are gearing up to bust underage revelers.

Here are some tips on how you can avoid getting written up before your first semester is over.

1. Don’t act like ‘The Freshman.’

Just because you suddenly have access to alcohol, it doesn’t mean you need to consume ALL of the alcohol at once. Even if the cops are out and about, they don’t have the manpower to hunt down every single underage boozer. So, they’ll zero in on the kid stumbling around with a trash can on his head before thinking twice about the passive mingler. The same goes with your RA, who really doesn’t want to walk in on you peeing in the corner of elevator.

2. Beware of PDA.

True story: I was once stumbling across campus with a guy I liked, and was pretty much all over him. I was stopped by a Public Safety brigade, who proceeded to quiz me: Did I know this guy? Where were we going? While I insisted that he was a friend, one of the officers interrupted with “You’re obviously intoxicated and we want to make sure you’re not going to make a bad decision tonight.” Ouch. (Editor’s Note: Where were those guys when I was making out with the guy with the tats?)

Luckily, they let us continue on our way, but the situation could have easily ended badly. This anecdote should be a lesson to guys, too. I’m sure my friend was mortified when the Public Safety peeps pegged him as a date rapist. But, just like the crazy, drunken antics mentioned above will red flag a drunk college student, a pair of horny kids who can’t make it back to the dorm room will also raise the suspicions of the University 5-0.

3. Be careful with your Fake.

If you have someone who is of age that can make a beer run for you, don’t even try to buy your own booze. At my school, all of the campus liquor stores had walls covered with confiscated fake ID’s. It’s a lot easier to get served at a bar or restaurant than it is to purchase booze from the store. FYI.

Still, you need to research the bars you attempt to get in to. Everyone at my school knew which bars would let in the worst fakes, which states made for the worst fakes, etc. I once had a fake ripped up by the manager of a new campus bar, because they were on the lookout for New York ID’s after being watched closely by the Po.

One more little tale: I knew a girl who got fined because she left her wallet at a gas station, and somehow, the cops found her fake ID in it. If a cop sees you with a fake for any reason, it can constitute fraud. Just food for thought.

4. Keep it inconspicous.

If you are walking to a party, don’t crack open a Natty Ice on the street. Don’t fill a Coca-Cola bottle with vodka. And don’t help a friend carry a case of beer if you are a minor. In many states, you can’t even handle alcohol if you are a minor. So if the cops are scouting out the liquor store, and card you and your of-age friend as you drag a shopping cart full of Patron to your car, you might get in trouble, even if you’re stone-cold sober and the bottles are unopened.

Even if you are trying to hide the libations you are hauling to the party, be careful. Ironically, backpacks scream “hidden alcohol,” especially when you are en route to a quad party on a warm Saturday evening. The cops may ask you open your bag, and having 30 beers fall out might put a damper on your weekend.

5. Stay current on campus news.

If there are four bars on campus, and three of them have been raided in the past month, you might want to lay low in order to avoid a sting operation on the fourth bar. Try to catch wind of any rumors that Tequila Tom’s might get raided.

Of course, if you are friendly with the bar staff, they might look out for you as well, because they want to save their own ass as much as you want to save yours. I’ve been flat out told by bouncers that they couldn’t let me in because they anticipated a raid; a year later, those same bouncers planned an “escape route” through the kitchen for the only girl in our group who had yet to hit the big 2-1.

6. Don’t advertise.

This goes along with watching your behavior and being mindful of your fake ID, but it’s the number one reason a minor will get busted. If you’re drinking in your room, don’t leave bottles and cans strewn about for your RA to see. Don’t display your shot glasses and your funnel. Many schools today even have rules that no alcohol-related decorations (posters, etc) may be displayed in “dry” dorms.

Just being alert to the fact that many people on campus are looking out for underage drinking can help you make smart decisions. It’s really not difficult to evade the disciplinarians at your school, and before you know it, you’ll be passing down your fake ID to your younger siblings and telling them to use it wisely. Take your time to get to know your campus and it’s policies. You have four years of partying awaiting you, so there’s plenty of time to tune up your beer pong skills.

There are several types of college relationships that have an urban legend-esque feel to them: the sexy school girl and the married professor, the sexy school girl and the teaching assistant, and, of course, the sexy school girl and the resident assistant.

I have never hooked up with one of my RAs, but that’s because I’ve only ever had female RA’s. Still, I know plenty of people who have dabbled in these waters. I’m not here to condone or condemn the practice, because I’ve certainly had my fair share of regrettable trysts, but I am here to lay out some of the baggage that comes with such a hook up.

First of all, consider the fact that even inter-floor mating can lead to year-long awkwardness. If you fear the inevitable walk of shame, imagine the anxiety that comes with the chance that one of your floormates sees you leaving the RA’s room in last night’s bar clothes. Even if you survive the W.O.S, you risk the rumors and reputation — people are more apt to label someone “the girl that banged the RA” than “the chick who nailed whatshisname in 5B.” Even worse, if you can’t handle the tension of a chance meeting on the elevator (or on the way to the showers), you are biting off more than you can chew with by shacking up with your RA.

Your RA is someone you will probably have to turn to throughout the year. He’ll be the one to let you into your room when you are locked out wearing only a towel. This means he also has the master key to your room (not implying anything, just saying). He’s also someone who will have to keep tabs on you throughout the year. He’ll be writing you up for dorm parties, open containers, and that hole in your wall that you forgot to fix before move-out day. This fact alone can open up a brand new can of worms in Relationship Land.

If he feels insecure about the hook-up, there’s a chance he goes on a power trip to get even. I’m not saying all RA’s are scumbags, but it’s a possibility. There’s also the possibility that you feel insecure, and blow things out of proportion: Is he writing me up because I never called him again? Yet another possibility is that you are overly confident: He won’t write me up, because I slipped him some poon, and end up getting yourself into trouble by thinking dorm rules don’t apply to you.

If you do get busted by your RA after having (or continuing to have) a relationship with him, it makes him doing his job more personal as well. Maybe he stops by to say hello and notices a box of Franzia on your desk on your “dry” floor. He puts his job first and makes you pour it out and writes you up. Do you really want any more emotions stacked on top of the pain of losing all of that perfectly good alcohol?

On the other hand, RA’s are people too. Many of them sign up to save money on housing– and I think saving money in college is something we can all relate to. I’ve known some really cool RA’s in the past, and some of them are so laid back, you don’t even realize that technically, they are in charge of the floor. If there is a real connection between you and your RA, who’s to say it can’t work out? Besides, he’ll most likely have a single (a rarity in dormland), so you won’t have to worry about a roommate barging in. In that case, I recommend having an adult conversation and weighing the pros and cons of pursuing your feelings, or even looking into swapping floors for future semesters. You might also want to find out if he has a reputation for seducing his advisees Van-Wilder-Style before you get in too deep.

In my experience (or my friends’ experiences, rather), the RA hookup is a bad idea. There are plenty of other fellas on campus to make regrets out of, so why make a mistake with someone who is pretty much in charge of your living quarters? Still, it’s always best to trust your intuition, and see where that takes you.

For the record, I also don’t advise going shot for shot in a foreign country with your orientation leader, but that’s a whole new set of wisdom.

Sometimes, I think finding out that your mate has cheated is a blessing in disguise, because you can sidestep the entire “this isn’t working” discussion and end things in an explosive fight instead. Of course, for those of us who just had to choose nice, faithful boys, it can be hard to let the poor guy down. So, we make up excuses. Sometimes we even lie.

If you don’t think your man can handle the truth (“You’re obviously not going to get any better at foreplay,” “If I have to waste one more Sunday watching football with you and your frat boy buddies, I’m going to slit my own throat,” or, simply, “I can’t wait to bang Johnny from Journalism class, as soon as I get out of these shackles,”) you may want to/be forced to fabricate a reason for ending your exclusive relationship.

Junior year of college, I was in a dead end relationship. I had chased my boyfriend, and won, and within six months, I was bored. I tried so hard to instigate a blow-up, but it never worked. Instead of the ever-dramatic, uber-conclusive “Get out!”/ doorslam combo, my ex started crying and pacing around the halls of my dorm room, where a concerned RA took pity on him and returned him to my doorstep.

I considered a plethora of lies to catapult me back into the singles scene. “It’s not you, it’s me” is too generic an excuse, and when I tried to play that card, the guy started promising to change. I tried to use money as an excuse, arguing that I needed to pick up more shifts at work and spend less money on nights out. That one blew up in my face, since we worked together, and he thought that more work for me would also mean more time we could spend together; he also suggested saving money by staying in and watching movies. By this point, cuddling with him was making my skin crawl, but of course, I bit my tongue and sat through Quentin Tarantino’s Four Rooms. Since he was a pothead, I considered using narcotics as an excuse, but, as a partier myself, I would sound hypocritical, unless I vowed to cut booze out of my life.

How was I ever going to end this one?

Truth be told, it took an ambulance ride and a percocet prescription to get back into the singles scene. I kid you not.

My blessing-in-disguise came in the form of a dislocated knee. I had to take a leave of absence from my waitressing job, where my ex was a cook. Bonus: no awkward post-break-up interaction! I ignored the guy for a couple of days, and then told him that since I was incapacitated, I thought it would be too difficult to continue with the relationship. He was working full-time, after all, and I had to hobble around campus on crutches and crash, exhausted, at the end of the day.

I pretended I was more upset than I really was and said I was going to throw myself into my schoolwork for the rest of the semester. In reality, I was at the bar most nights, crutches and all. But at least I was single at the bar on crutches. It is sad that it took bodily harm to end my relationship, but sometimes there are no other options.

Am I alone on this one? Anyone else ever have some ridiculous story to get out of a relationship?