A new season of Teen Mom (aka Teen Mom 2) is starting January 11th at 10 p.m. Some of you, who are obviously living under a rock, don’t know what Teen Mom is, and some of you (like me) can’t wait until it pops up on the TV schedule so you can record it!  This season is bringing four new girls in from Sixteen and Pregnant which means: new drama, new plot lines and new adorable babies. And I don’t know about you, but I’m a little tired of Amber and all of her issues.

With shows like The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and movies revolving around a teenage pregnancy pact, it’s sometimes hard to stop and realize that teenage pregnancy is not something to take lightly. Enter MTV, with hit series, Teen Mom. It follows four of the original teenagers from 16 and Pregnant. The series centers around four teens who are dealing with balancing motherhood, a social life, and school.

On this show, we see the girls struggle to adapt their old lifestyles and focus their priorities. It’s an eye opener for the people watching, by deglamorizing teen pregnancy and showing everything they gave up. These four teenagers allow us to see into their lives, and we devour it as if it were a plot line from As The World Turns. All because we feed on the drama that is reality TV. I mean why else would it be so popular?

Teen Mom is everyone’s feel good (as in feel better about yourself) show, like most reality T.V., everyone loves seeing other people who are worse off than themselves. Don’t lie, you know you secretly love that Amber is as obnoxious as she is. With any show, especially reality TV, we all develop a favorite and quickly pull them into our friends-who-we-wish-were-ours-but-are-just-on-TV- circle. We follow the plot lines of each episode, loving every minute of the fights, tears, and relationship drama that are sprinkled throughout.

But never once do we stop and think about what is happening to some of these girls. Take Amber, the resident crazy, as an example. She’s been charged with assault and ended up in jail! She has a long line of failed relationships and isn’t even allowed to go into some of the local stores in her town. Girl is a little messed up and needs some help. Or at least someone should step up and get the baby out of that house!

So, whose responsibility is it to step in? Most people would assume the parents should help their child out, but in this case I don’t know if that would work out so well. Or what about the state? Shouldn’t someone call an interference and send Amber to counseling…Oh, hello MTV!

Shouldn’t MTV be held responsible?

On one hand, the girls wouldn’t have been put in the spotlight without MTV reaching out to them and giving them the exposure they have now. Yet on the other hand, they are the ones who grabbed at the opportunity, and had plenty of chances to say no thank you. And you know all the girls are compensated for the show, so does that mean MTV’s part of the bargain is done?

Reality TV brings the crazy people into our homes and while it is fun to watch them downward spiral… sometimes it’s taken a little too far. Do we really need more of these drama filled shows, when a show where people are worse off and get better (think Extreme Home Makeover) would be just as good?

I’d much rather see a scene where Amber is seeking help to better herself than another abusive tantrum. Yes these people are crazy, and yes it makes for some amazing TV, but they are real people who need some serious help. So who is going to own up and take responsibility?

Big Brother is watching you, students....

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like cheating confessions! ) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Ah, George Orwell, how miserable you made my life in high school. But look, now it’s happening again – except this time it’s not Mr. Orwell’s fault that I’ve got Big Brother on the brain (no, not the TV show… is that still on?). This time it’s Northern Arizona University and their plan to install an attendance system that electronically reads student ID cards to tell if you showed up to your giant lecture course. Yeah, OK, first thing I thought when I heard about this was “so you just have to get a friend to carry your card to class, no big,” but the more I think about it, the more qualms I have.

In the school’s defense, attendance is important and even though we all know it, when that 7:30 alarm goes off, sometimes it’s easy to just ignore that little fact. I know more than one person who lost scholarship money over their grades just because they skipped out on class a few too many times. We should show up to class, but we don’t always, so I can get why the school is trying to step up and actually help (force) its students to do the right thing for themselves.

But still, this rankles me (rankles, really? Did not see that vocab word coming). One of the glories of college is that you finally get to make choices for yourself, even if those choices are stupid and detrimental (enter Jose Cuervo). You’re paying to go to college, so why shouldn’t you be able to skip out if you choose? Not to mention that people with jobs/families/extracurricular sometimes have to miss classes legitimately and then make up for it. Sure you’ll have to accept the consequences of that later when you have no freaking clue what the final is about, but a big part of higher education is about becoming a grown up and taking responsibility for your actions. This system pretty much replaces the “holy crap, I really should have gone to class and learned this shiz” moment with a glorified kindergarten teacher. Oh, and did I mention that they’re spending $75,000 of federal stimulus money to put in said glorified kindergarten teacher? Yeah. Awesome.

Am I being a little too paranoid about Big Brother? Am I not giving the school a fair shake? Or is this really as ridiculous as it seems to me? Duke it out!

And sometimes amidst classes and internships and jobs and scrounging around our kitchens for something to eat before our 6-hour library run we all have a pang of longing for that time in our lives. The days when we could sleep all day and not feel guilty that we missed a lecture, a study group and a day’s worth of quality homework progress. And then wake up, have mom make us a snack and drive us to the movies (where she’ll buy the ticket).

But while we do have a ton of responsibility now that we are “grown ups,” we also have a ton of new privileges now that the parentals aren’t breathing down our necks. And let me tell you – I’d trade in my Barbie Jeep for my curfew-less existence any day.

We can eat ice cream for breakfast
Far gone are the days of mom force-feeding us spinach and carrots, taunting us with the fact that we aren’t going to get that scrumptious brownie if we don’t finish all of our dinner. If I want to eat a bag of chips and chocolate cake for lunch, then I’m going to and there’s no one to stop me. Major plus for the grown ups.

We can live in a pigsty
When you played with your toys your mom would inevitably come in screaming that it looked like a tornado had ran through the room. Then she counted down from ten as you jumped into action picking up all of our Barbies and Beanie Babies. Not anymore. Want to toss your jeans over there? Done. That empty cereal bowl on the couch? Totally fine. (That is…until she comes to visit.)

We can do whatever we want, when we want to
As a kid you basically have someone telling you what to do at all times of the day. You go to school from 8-3, have a snack while you watch some cartoons, do your homework, have dinner and are in bed by 9 pm, sharp. There is really very little room for negotiation and when you tried, you’d only end up getting yelled at later when your mom came into your room and saw you playing with your stuffed animals on the floor. Now we have the freedom to decide what we want to do and when we want to do it. If we want dinner at midnight, we can. If we want to go to bed at 3 am, we can. Even if it’s at someone else’s house.

We can pick out our own clothes
I will never forget the embarrassment that was picture day when my mom made me wear a Mickey Mouse turtleneck and a pair of overalls. That picture still sits above the TV in my parents’ living room and it is a constant reminder of how good it is to decide on my own fashion fate these days. Oh you think that zebra print v-neck is cute, mom? Get it for yourself. I’m all about this low-cut LBD…and you can’t stop me!

We don’t believe ridiculous lies
Yes, Santa and the Easter bunny are awesome, but it’s also ridiculous that anyone would believe a fat man in a red suit jumps down every chimney in the world in one night. Or that TV rots our brains. Or that bread crust will make our hair curly. As grown ups, we are enlightened on the big joke that all the adults have been playing on us and make up some lies of our own (“Yeah mom, I’m just staying in this weekend to study for the big exam! What? No, that’s just the TV. Yeah, I’m watching ESPN’s National Beer Pong Championship.”)

We can ride shotgun
How much did it suck to always be strapped in the backseat missing all the scenery and stimulating conversation in the front seat? Yeah, waving to those fools behind you from the back of a station wagon was fun, but now you get radio control/to your destination without wanting to barf.

We can swear
When you utter your first forbidden four-letter word, the room becomes silent. Before your parents freak out. They don’t want to be known as the couple that has the kid who curses. You’ll never be invited to play dates with that filthy mouth! Now when you let some profanities slip, it really isn’t that big of a shocker. And even if it is, what can your parents really do about it?

Yeah she's cute, but could you handle all the responsibility?

Occasionally on college campuses you will spot a student walkin’ a pooch, but those incidents are few and far between. Since college is mostly about studying hard and partying along the way, most students don’t want the responsibility of caring for someone other than themselves – especially a four legged friend. That will poop in their shoes.

My boyfriend recently adopted a mutt from the local pound. He knew he could give her (Shyla) a good home with his off-campus house, and since then the two of them have been on adventure. While part of the time (OK – most of the time) the antics brought on by Shyla seem like they were written straight out of Marley and Me, it is hard to deny the cute, active sweetness of an eighteen week puppy playing fetch and snuggling up next to your feet.

Just as anyone who has ever had a dog knows, pups are all-encompassing hard work. There is the whole process of getting the dog acclimated to living in a house: potty-training, keeping them out of the trash, getting them used to walking on a leash… Honestly, getting a dog to “sit” isn’t as easy as it seems, so patience and a little bit of loving care is important too.

Oh, and if house-breaking a puppy isn’t enough, there is also the importance of grooming and professional pet care. You thought getting a manicure and pedicure at the local nail salon was expensive, try $15 for a dog groomer to just cut your pet’s nails. When you’re not grooming your dog, it is crucial to its health (especially as a puppy) to have regular vet visits – costing up to $100 or more at a time. Having a dog takes a lot of focus away from yourself, which means a lot less money for the seasonal (or daily) shopping tips.

But even though it is expensive and trying at times, having a dog can be a rewarding experience. Yeah, even if it leaves a little puddle by your bed.

Not sure if a dog is for you, at least while you’re in college? Let’s weigh the pros and cons.

Good: You have a bed buddy every night, and you know for sure they don’t have STDs or Swine Flu! And they won’t sneak out before you get up in the morning and be there when you get u,p providing you undivided attention with a wagging tail.
Bad: That Tommy Hilfiger comforter you just bought is going to smell like dog, and if you don’t keep Fido’s nails short enough, it might suffer a rip and tear.

Good: You always have something to look forward to at home. Imagine having a crappy day on campus and coming home to a precious puppy excited to see you.
Bad: Dogs shouldn’t be left alone for more than four hours a time, so you will need to prioritize your schedule and social life around taking care of your new-found responsibility.

Good: Having a dog will make you more active. You will be going on more walks and once you get your little friend outside, it will be hard to bring them in, making you want to stay out as well. You can keep yourself more in-shape this way!
Bad: Dogs can be too active sometimes, forcing you to constantly watch them. If they have a lot of pent up energy, they may get into things around the house. For example, Shyla likes to explore the house and with her extra puppy energy, it means she gets into everything she can, whether it is my boyfriend’s economics homework or the bathroom’s endless stash of toilet paper.

Good: Dogs make great introductions in a social setting. In a sorority? Bring your puppy with you for a low-key function. Everyone will dote over how cute your dog is, and you can play the proud, happy dog-loving parent as she gets passed around.
Bad: Taking a dog to a public function could cause problems. Some people aren’t dog-friendly, and others don’t take having a dog seriously. Think about it: How many frat boys are going to try to give your dog beer?

The bottom line is that dogs are a huge responsibility; in fact, they are a life-time commitment. Do you think you could handle one in college?

I have always had health insurance and never really thought about what the birth control options were without it. That made my birth control a whole $8 a month or so. But that’s neither here nor there. I don’t have health insurance anymore and neither do many college girls in need of birth control.

The laws have changed since the Deficit Reduction Act of 2005, which alters how drug makers are permitted to calculate rebates related to Medicaid. Somehow or another, this act twisted itself around to make it expensive for companies to offer schools discounts on birth control. Lame. So instead of paying $3-$10 a pack, thanks to discounts, college students are now being forced to pay $30-$50 a pack instead. Even for the cases when insurance would cover the difference, what about the girls who don’t want to involve their parents’ insurance with their birth control?

A female college student should be able to obtain reasonably priced birth control in this country without the assistance of health insurance.

Of course there are numbers of conservative folks out there who would argue that with sex comes the responsibility of motherhood, but if I may beg to differ, that is an opinion. The problems associated with unplanned pregnancy, on the other hand, are hard facts.

Who is really driving the drug companies to make specific decisions like this? Paying this much money for birth control, especially during a recession, is what I would qualify as unreasonable. Were these packs of cigarettes, not packs of helpful pills, then I’d understand. But birth control should be at the disposal of all sexually active young women in our country not yet prepared to mother.

Birth control doesn’t create a problem–it prevents one. Not offering birth control at a reasonable rate might push girls to stop using it, leaving this country with the burden of paying to care for more unwanted children.

Young women should not be punished for trying to make responsible choices and we must get up and remind the lawmakers, drug companies and universities of this fact. There is no reason men should be able to get Viagra for $8 a bottle, but women must spend 5 times that much on birth control.

Have you had this problem on your campus? How much does your birth control cost?

[Photo from Abcnews.net]

So it’s understandable why the anticipation of a trip home for the weekend (like this coming holiday weekend) can inspire a little anxiety, but once you cross the threshold of Home Sweet Home, you’ll remember just why it’s so sweet.

1. Home cookin’.

After a daily diet of fast food, dining hall “cuisine” and failed attempts at domesticity (and a pasta based backup plan) it is amazing to come home to fresh and delicious food. You want your childhood favorite? Mom and Dad will happily oblige. For one glorious weekend you get to come home to a hot meal every night, no stress required. And in those situations when someone just doesn’t feel like cooking, bring on the restaurants. When the closest thing to a gourmet meal you can afford is Olive Garden, nosh that’s a little more your parents’ taste leaves you feeling like you ate dinner at Buckingham Palace.

2. Retail Affection.

The initial bone crushing hugs and sporadic wistful looks followed by hugs that you’ll get all weekend are nothing compared to what you’ll score if you can get Mom to the mall. Her poor baby has been living in poverty at school as far as she’s concerned (and for the most part she’d be pretty accurate), so she’s more than willing to splurge on necessities like warm winter clothes (yes, everyone at school has 7 different coats, obv.), “comfortable” shoes for walking around campus (easily expandable into high heel territory) and any other array of daily wear that you have no access to at school. After all, Mom and Dad can’t expect you to shop at the bookstore for University brand gear every time you need a new outfit. And don’t forget the back to school care package you’ll probably get as you’re packing up. Take advantage and stock up on toiletries, hard to find makeup, laundry detergent, and any groceries you can bring back with you.

3. Your own bed.

The second your head hits your pillow on that first night back in your old room, you instantly feel comfortable. Your bed (if it was anything like mine) was there for late night sleepover whisper fests, studying for impossible AP exams, talking on the phone to your crush, steaming after fights with your parents, crying over heartbreaks and begging you not to wake up for your crack of dawn alarm for ridiculously early high school classes. Falling into it is like seeing an old friend and you get to sleep like a rock until you’re woken up by the scent of fresh pancakes…

4. Being a kid again.

The second you walk through your door, no matter what age you are, you instantly revert to age 10. Enjoy having your laundry done for you, every meal prepared just the way you like it and fussing over your hair, weight, dental health, etc., The best part? Since you’re technically a guest in your own home, count on little to no chores.

5. Old friends and haunts.

It’s great to see all your friends that went off to different schools and cities, especially great when gathered around a keg. Going out with your high school BFF’s as college students allows you to catch up and show each other just how much harder your school parties than their’s does. Also a perk? Going out to clubs at home if you live in a big city. Either you’re 21 by now or your fake is a lot more believable and you can finally check out what all the hype was about all those years spent as a minor.

Of course all of these aspects of going home are excellent, but the best one by far is the knowledge that you get to go home (to your new home) at the end of the weekend. It’s long enough to catch up and bond with the fam, pamper yourself with a free vacation before you head back to the world of school and responsibility, but not long enough for you to tire of curfews, chores and an itch for independence. So pack your bags gladly whether your coming or going home, you have a great weekend ahead of you at home and an equally awesome life to return to.

Ok, before everyone gets up in arms about every generalization I just made, let me clarify: if you disagree with everything I just said, you probably don't need this column. But if you're nodding along because you're officially an adult and still don't know how to manage your money, then you might want to pay attention every week, because I'm going to (try to) get you through this, and make you a successful saver and a wise spender. Starving college students of the world, I bring you Money Matters: a Guide to Handling Your Income (or Lack Thereof).]

This week, I’d like to introduce you to a splendid gem called Free Student Checking. Now, normally, banks will hold your money for you, but they like to find sneaky ways to make a few bucks back themselves. Some checking accounts, for example, have a minimum balance that you always have to have in your account. If your balance goes below that minimum, you get a fine.

Yeah, that’s right. You have to PAY your BANK for being too poor to have any money in the account that consists entirely of your own money that you started out with in the first place. I understand credit card late fees– with credit, you’re spending money you don’t necessarily have– but a fine on your own money? That’s bullsh*t.

Luckily, the banks have caught on to the fact that college kids won’t open accounts if they know they won’t be able to keep up with the minimum account balance… and the fact that once we’ve graduated and become successful career men and women, they can switch us to premium accounts and fine the ever-loving sh*t out of us.

Free student checking comes with a variety of perks. First of all, it’s free. No interest, no fines (unless you overdraw), no minimum balance, and they usually only require about $50 or so to open them. So, just put off buying one textbook for about a day and you’ll have the money to open a checking account and become a real grown up, personalized checks and all.

Before you hop over to the first bank in sight, however, it’s wise to do some research. Because college students should ALWAYS be on their toes for a bargain, whether it’s free food sponsored by the PanHellenic Society, Penny Night at the Pub, or a free toaster with every new bank account.

Seriously, though, shop around. Some banks will give you MONEY just to sign with them. I got $50 last summer for opening a new direct deposit account with M&T Bank, for example, and when I used Wachovia in the past, they were always advertising bonuses for students who got friends to open checking accounts as well. Search for banks in your area on Google Maps and see if there are any perks for opening a new account.

Then, proceed to step two:

Check out the long-term benefits of the account. Remember, you and your new bank are going to have at least a four or five-year relationship, and you want the relationship to be as much a one way street as it can be (in your favor, of course).

Currently, Bank of America has an online student checking offer, which includes a “Stuff Happens” card, good for a one-time fee refund (read: if you overdraw once, you can waive the pricey fine); a free check card (read: debit card); free online banking with unlimited bill pay (read: no fees for paying bills online); and an easy way for your parents to deposit money into your account (read: you can still beg for cash).

Wachovia’s Free Student Checking also offers one-time overdraft protection, but also includes a free savings account, for those of you motivated scholars who actually hope to put some cash away for a rainy day. AND Wachovia’s plan includes a “Way 2 Save” program, which encourages students to make debit card purchases and pay bills online, allowing you to accrue cash-value points for every check, purchase, and payment, in addition to a rebate on the money you’ve saved in your account each year. Talk about rewarding responsibility!

Other perks include Key Bank‘s ATM fee reimbursement plan, Washington Mutual‘s reward-earning debit card, and Meta Bank‘s checks with your school logo on ‘em (for you spirited savers out there)!

The bottom line is, you’re going to have to start managing your money eventually, so you may as well take advantage of the student-friendly perks of free checking accounts. Along the way, you’ll learn to balance your checkbook, make financial transactions, and become more aware of how much you’re earning and spending. Even if you take advantage of the “no minimum balance” advantage and constantly flirt with overdrawing your account, at least you’re getting started.

By the end of this series, you might even have enough to call “savings.”

In that same frame of mind, I’ve been looking at my so-called grown-up friends to see how their lives are different from my own, searching for things that would tell me when I’ve become one of them, or if maybe -gasp- I’m already there. Here is what I came up with.

5 Signs that you are now entering Adultsville:

1. Bills. Gone are the days of blissful ignorance as to how the lights stayed on at home or the hot water kept running. Now those infuriating little statements just keep slipping through the mail slot. Phone bill, gas bill, waterworks, eating away at your paycheck- your new pair of shoes! It was a lot more fun when you had an allowance.

2. Your parents are asking you to drive them places. You thought it was your ticket to freedom when you got your license, huh? Wink, wink. Mom and Dad were just waiting for the day when they wouldn’t have to take you anywhere and you could start chauffeuring them around. Now it’s, “Honey, can you take me to the doctor’s on Monday?” and, “Oh, could you stop by the grocery store after work and pick some things up for me?” Don’t forget doing someone else’s errands: “Your sister’s done with soccer practice at 6.” Some kind of freedom.

3. All-weekend benders are history. As are weekday parties. The day has finally come when you realize that Tuesday and Wednesday nights just have to be for sleeping. And that in your older and wiser state, hangovers now take two days of recovery instead of the normal one-day junk food-eating, sweatpants-wearing, movie-watching spree that used to be all you required. Oh where did our beer (or Smirnoff Ice) chugging days go?

4. Better sex. This may be one of the few perks of being an adult. Maybe your libido isn’t what it was when you were 19 (although for some of us, it’s even better ) but you know more about your body now. You know what you want, and you aren’t afraid to say it. Who wouldn’t be satisfied with that?

5. And last, but by all means worth the most: You are making the choices now. The big Life-Changing Decisions. With no Mommy or Daddy to dust you off and tell you “I told you so” when it doesn’t work out. The consequences for your actions fall squarely on your own shoulders. Most of the time, we’d like to think that we have enough experience and common sense by this point to make reasonably good judgments. Most of the time, we completely miss the mark.

The sign of your newly earned adulthood is your next move- to get up and keep forging ahead, even if you have to wade in the muck of your mistakes. Only little kids get to go back to bed and let someone else sort it out.

Being an adult is not all pink and posies. And you still have the option of staying a kid forever- the path that some people, much to the chagrin of the rest of us, decide to follow. (Cough, Cough, dear, sweet “significant others” going out with their buddies on poker night when their mothers are coming the next day and the house is still a mess.)

On the other hand, there’s a real liberty and sense of accomplishment that comes from knowing you are the one who gets to reap the benefits of all your responsibility and hard work.

…Hmm, yeah. Not feeling that just yet. I guess I’m not quite there. I’ll see ya on the other side. Until then, I’ll be over here on my futon, nursing my hangover with a beer.

But what we absolutely do not want to do is send the message that sexual freedom and inhibition is a risk free lifestyle.

Recently, two writers from Jezebel – a website for women aged 25-35 – were invited onto Lizz Winstead’s show, Thinking and Drinking, to discuss their decisions to blog quite openly about their sexcapades and the message they send by writing about them (graphically) on the internet. Winstead, a former writer for The Daily Show, is a strong advocate of sexual empowerment and freedom, but argues it “can only be called a freedom if you protect yourself from rape, disease and pregnancy.”

Tracie Egan and Moe Tkacik, the Jezebel bloggers – who we have quoted and referenced many times before – showed up to the interview drunk and what they said caused quite a stir in the CollegeCandy office.

You can see the clip here:

We have no problem with the choices these women make in their personal lives, but we do have a problem with the fact that they take an issue like rape and make light of it. Pass it off like it’s funny, impossible, fictional and that they are too smart to let it happen to them.

No one is too “smart” to be raped. My friends are very smart people; some of the most intelligent, worldly and street smart people I know (Yes, I am bragging). But that didn’t mean anything when one of them went home with someone – a funny, attractive boy we knew through some friends – and found herself in an unsafe situation that she could not stop.

He was not some shady dude in the bar; she was “smart” enough to avoid that one.

It wasn’t the muscley guy buying rounds for every girl he saw; she knew not to go near that one.

It was a safe guy that she trusted and that did not make a difference.

Just as Winstead mentioned in the clip, the ladies of Jezebel have remained safe, not because they have made good choices, but because they are lucky. The same goes for me, and for a lot of the bloggers on this site. We are not doing anything different than the women who find themselves in danger; we are just really f-ing lucky.

Though we may not want to be role models, blogging comes with that responsibility. We would be jobless if it weren’t for the people who read and emulate us, so it is disgusting for these two ladies of Jezebel to ignore their responsibilities and make light of such a serious situation.

It may have been the wine talking, but what they said is embarrassing and just plain wrong. Women today are very lucky to live in a society that allows us the freedom to choose our lifestyle; we cannot take it for granted.

[Photo courtesy of Jezebel]

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