St. Patrick is definitely up there on my list of favorite saints. He’s the patron saint of my distant homeland, he rid it of snakes, and he is the most notable Catholic advocate of excessive drinking. In fact he might be the only. And in even more fact, he might not condone alcohol at all. But either way, when I wake up every March 17^th, it is with eager anticipation for a very long day of alcoholic beverages.

For college students across our great nation (and hopefully Ireland), St. Patrick’s Day is the ultimate example of turning an otherwise mundane holiday into a massive excuse to drink a lot of beer. However, if I know St. Patrick (and I like to think I do, as I went to CCD every Sunday until I was confirmed) there are def some Do’s and Don’ts for his high holy day.

DO: Wake up bright and early to celebrate the most wonderful college holiday of life. Even if you need to go home and go back to sleep (or chug some green food-colored Red Bull), it is imperative that you wake up by 7 am and wait in line to get banded. If you have an incredibly doting boyfriend, someone who owes you a huge favor or access to fraternity pledges, even better; they can wait in line for you while you get in some practice time for green beer keg stands. Why begin your long day of drinking so early? Because many other Irish (or pretend Irish) revelers have the same brilliant idea, and the line at your fave campus bar will only get more and more massive  as the day goes on. Additionally, the brilliant owners of said bar have probably caught onto this trend and will be charging increased admission by the hour as the late risers, class-attenders , and the generally slow people who didn’t yet realize it was March 17^th trickle in for some Irish Car Bombs. Even if you have to start celebrating St. Patty’s at midnight the night before and stumble into a cab at 6, wake.up.early. Read More »

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

People who talk in the library:

Within the stacks, there is always a pretty clear-cut volume hierarchy. You know the second floor computer lounge is bound to be buzzing with group discussions and Facebook revelers taking a break from the books. You also are well aware that the most hidden recesses with “QUIET ZONE” flyers plastered everywhere are meant to be serenely silent. This means that you— Pencil Tap to the Baseline of “Heartless” Guy —are not welcome. You, Girl Who Answers Her Super Effing Loud Ring Tone and Proceeds to Discuss Last Night’s Exploits Loudly, should excuse yourself (and forget your student ID so you can’t get back into the library). “I will listen to my iPod at ear shattering treble and, yes I know you can hear it across the room” Man, I will gladly drop your Nano in my Starbucks if you don’t crank it down. And especially you two, Pretentious Indie D-Bags Discussing Kafka Loudly Enough So We All Know How Devastatingly Brilliant You Are—I might be impressed if I were not attempting to study for my OWN final, not yours.

Chicken Littles.

Everyone has encountered at least one individual with the gift to spread anxiety like a pandemic. It’s hard to tell if their jittery twitching is nerve, coffee, or crack induced as they rattle off dates mentioned in your European History class. Your study group becomes hazardous to your health with this study buddy around—their catastrophic what-if scenarios about the final are ulcer inducing, and your confidence level will plummet as they convince themselves (and you) that achieving anything above a 69 % in this course is utterly ridiculous and completely impossible. If they can’t convince you that the sky is falling, they’ll get you to believe your GPA is. Read More »