In honor of the new season of Gossip Girl, our friends at PopEater are asking you to share your tales of real-life Gossip Girl run-ins.  The stories range from the scintillating and shocking to the hysterical and bizarre.  Should you be racking your brain to submit a story of your own, I present you with the ultimate cheat sheet.

Ladies, you probably know a Gossip Girl if…

She’s given a monthly allowance in the four-digit range…just for “fun” purchases.
The sales girls at Louis Vuitton know her by name.  She didn’t have to wait for her Hermes Birkin bag.  Chanel makes sure she’s always invited to the in-store preview events.  Basically, the girl’s got the connection on all the latest and greatest when it comes to fashion.  She wants it all, and she gets it (ahead of everyone else, of course).

Things don’t stay secret for long, especially when her cell phone’s nearby.
Is she inviting you to spill your heart out?  Looking at you with “it’s okay, you can tell me anything” eyes?  Patting the seat next to her while holding out her arms in a faux-hug?  If so, then run.  It’s no surprise to say Gossip Girls love gossip, and their fingers can text at lightening speeds even when the phone’s under the table or hidden in a purse.  Duct tape that mouth, young lady, or your break-up will be the hottest news on campus in fifteen minutes.

She takes mysterious trips at a moment’s notice.
Long weekend in Bermuda= visiting her estranged father who is running away from American authorities in Belgium.  Last-minute acceptance to a prestigious summer program at Oxford= her mother’s forcing her into rehab for that pesky case of Bulimia.  Skipped out on a year of school for no reason= girl was totally suicidal after she tripped down the runway at Fashion Week.  The affairs of Gossip Girls are shrouded in mystery, so always be suspect of her excuses.

Minions abound!
Like the seven dwarfs…except taller, thinner, and wearing Prada.  Gossip Girls require a staff of help in their homes and a committee of mini-me’s in their schools.  Minions often wear similar styles and speak with the same lingo as their leader, but don’t be confused.  These girls know exactly to whom they answer.

Men just can’t seem to help themselves.
Could be the killer body, the form-fitting dress, or the four-inch Louboutins, but whatever the reason- she makes sexy look effortless and Heidi Klum look like a dumpy housewife.  Guys can’t seem to say no to a Gossip Girl for (ahem, two) reasons that are pretty plain to see.  And they’re only the best- future investment bankers, lawyers, heirs to oil fortunes…  That scrawny English major knows he doesn’t stand a chance with a Blair Waldorf wanna-be.

Do you know a real-life Gossip Girl? Been the victim of her vicious mouth? (Yeah, it’s cute on TV, but not so much in the real world with real consequences… like your parents finding out your dirty secrets via Facebook updates….) Share your story below.

When asked to choose their top goals, a survey of 18 to 25-year-olds yielded staggering statistics.

81% said: to get rich.

51% said: to be famous.

I don’t know about you guys, but this makes me squirm in my seat just a tad.

Sure, it’s understandable that a large number of people want to have a fat wallet and their face plastered all over newspapers. Actually it’s a little too obvious. Our generation certainly boasts an embarrassingly high number of public figures with absolutely zero talent or reason for being there. Just think about it, some of the most famous celebrities are reality stars who got famous for being normal people on national TV and occasionally throwing in a fist fight, indulging a cocktail binge or going through an incredibly messy divorce to spice things up.

With these figures being glorified by our society, of course there are going to be those who want to follow in their footsteps and get their 15 minutes. But aren’t these numbers a tad bit high? The main goal of 81% of college students is to be rich?! What about being happy? Having a family? Improving the world in some way?

Are we just lazy? Is that why the life of the rich and famous looks so appealing? Or do people actually consider “famous” an appropriate fill in for the blank next to “occupation”? Read More »

As far as I can tell, there are three main types of celebrities that the world fawns over.

Type 1:“The Talented Celebrity.”  Think models who have shown up on the cover of Italian Vogue, actors like Brad Pitt who have starred in everything from comedy to drama, and music moguls who come out with one hit after another (think Madonna).

Type 2: “The Train Wreck- Once Famous, Now in Rehab.”  These are people like Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse, who are no doubt talented, but can’t keep themselves away from the bars and the drugs long enough to earn coveted longevity in Hollywood.

Type 3: “Why the Hell are They Famous?” The people who People Magazine, US Weekly, and Perez Hilton constantly cover, we all read about, and none of us are exactly sure what this person has done to deserve press coverage (think Anna Nicole Smith).  Below is a list of the ten best examples of these non-celebrities – the ones that take over our headlines, but haven’t done much to merit this press coverage.  And if anyone can tell me why we actually care what these people are up to…well, be my guest. Read More »

Life would be a whole lot easier if money weren’t an issue, right? You wouldn’t have to worry about those pesky bills, you could travel the world in style, enjoy daily shopping trips at your favorite boutiques…

Whoa. Sorry – zoned out there for a minute.

Anywho, even if people don’t want to admit it, marrying someone with money would be pretty fan-effing-tastic, no?  Just look at all those Real Housewives – their lives aren’t too shabby. Who wouldn’t want to have all that (minus the ridiculous dramz, of course)?

So, is there anything wrong with trying to find a wealthy man to sweep you off your feet? And does looking for a man with a cushy bank account make you a – how did my friend put it? – prostitute? There’s a fine line between liking someone with money and liking someone for money, but, at the end of the day, is either one really ok?

See both sides below, then weigh in on the topic in the comment section! Read More »

Life isn’t black and white. As much as we wish we simply loved or hated things, there is often that whole annoying gray area in the middle. Like how we love the idea of a monokini, but we just don’t know if we can pull it off. Or how we love making money babysitting, but hate giving up a Saturday night. Damn you, gray area; you make decision-making that much more complicated!]

Anyone who knows me knows not to call on Tuesday nights. Not only is it Biggest Loser night, but it also happens to be the best night of my week because of one thing only: The Real Housewives. I don’t care if they are from Orange County, Hot-lanta or New York, I can’t get enough of these women.

Yet now that The Real Housewives of New Jersey are on the (polluted) horizon, I’m starting to feel a little confused inside about my love for couture catfights and $16,000 handbags.

Yes, ladies, I’m torn. It’s time to break it all down. Read More »

The other day a friend of mine counted the amount of times I used the word douche. The number was shockingly high, something like 20 times within a half an hour. This got me thinking….I was either very irrate about something and was on a ranting rampage, OR there are many types of doucheness. So, I thought I would break it down so you too can put to use this fantastic word.

Webster’s Definition of DOUCHE:

The true definition of douche is: a jet or current of water, sometimes with a dissolved medicating or cleansing agent, applied to a body part, organ, or cavity for medicinal or hygienic purposes. or; to use a douche or douches; undergo douching. Vaginal douches may consist of water, water mixed with vinegar, or even antiseptic chemicals.

Okay. FIRST OF ALL…Does that sound painful to anyone else? Have any of you actually tried this? I’d really like to know.

My Definition of a DOUCHE:

Here’s the thing, douche has its varieties and I’ll have to break them down for you.

RICH DOUCHE:

The rich douche usually will do something like order your meal for you at dinner while saying something patronizing about what color lipstick you’re wearing and how it clashes with your dress. Rich douches usually say snide things about poor douches and visa versa. He most likely has Daddy’s money or Daddy’s company, and has dated his fair share of waify blondes wearing pearls. The rich douche would never enjoy a divey pub or roll around in the grass with a Labrador, instead he’ll have a greyhound and think pubs are for Irish invalids. Take him to The Palm or he’ll just go hungry. Read More »

A 35-year-old graduate student in Chicago is conducting the best social experiment since The Real World. For the next year, she is going to live as Oprah advises.

She’ll take tips from O Magazine, Oprah’s web site and of course everyone’s favorite hour of television, the Oprah Winfrey Show itself. She’s recording her expenses and experiences on a blog to share it with the Oprahsphere and curious fans alike.

She’s approximately 12 weeks into her journey and so far it’s been expensive, tiring and thought provoking. After juggling school, work, family, participating in spiritual bootcamp on Oprah.com, our herione is starting to question the feasibility of the average person “living their best life” or at least the lifestyle Oprah prescribes. Read More »

“Good Morning Upper East Siders…It’s Gossip Girl here...”

Similar to the infamous and mysterious Gossip Girl, I too can wake up in the morning, open my curtains, and look out over a street that is located in the idealized glamorous neighborhood of Manhattan’s Upper East Side. But, unlike Blair, Serena, and the other over-privileged characters, my window looks out over the street from my fourth floor tiny studio…in a walk up building (this means i climb four flights of stairs everytime I come home to my apt, no elevator).

You may be wondering how this is possible for a recent college graduate struggling to make it in the most expensive city in the world to be living in such close proximity to those who live the wealthiest and most luxurious lifestyle imaginable.

Well, contrary to what many people think, beyond the extravagant buildings and penthouses occupied by the rich, this area is actually one of the most affordable in the city for young adults. Why? Many prewar walk up buildings (like mine) that are older, lack an elevator and doorman, and are closer to the river (a farther walk to the subway) are in this area. Read More »

Joe Francis is more than just a sleazebag rich kid who cajoles drunk girls into making out and flashing their boobs.

He’s more than a crybaby who had a panic attack in jail and was tied up in his own home. He’s more than an obnoxious frat boy in a designer suit.

Joe Francis is a good guy.

At least according to Joe Francis.

Meetjoefrancis.com is the Girls Gone Wild creator’s new online endeavor to show the world that his past behavior was all a misunderstanding…something he’s been plagued by his whole life.

“I’m excited to have this opportunity to introduce myself to you personally.” Francis writes on his homepage.

“Over the years, I’ve gotten used to being misunderstood.”

“From as early as the first grade, when a teacher’s aide took offense at my efforts to get her attention by putting a tack on her chair, to more recently, when a certain Southern judge took a relentless interest in putting me behind bars, it seems that I have been in a constant struggle just to be understood as a regular guy trying to get by in life.”

Putting a tack on someone’s chair to get attention? More like putting a tack on someone’s chair to watch them sit on a tack and laugh. Read More »

I have a special place in my heart for terrible teen television. The O.C., Degrassi, Instant Star, South of Nowhere, Dawson’s Creek: I just can’t get enough of it. The cheesy acting, the terrible love dramas, the catty bitch fights. I LOVE IT.

Which is why I am pumped for my newest terrible teen television drama Gossip Girl. Being an angsty teen is hard enough but when you’re rich, pretty and living on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, life is so bad it’s good. I’m pretty sure I watched the trailer five times because I was THAT excited.

There have been reviews. The New York Times profiled the show while five real UES Manhattan girls watched the first episode. And a few have even written that Gossip Girl is nothing to gossip about. But this is no Arrested Development, people. This is bad television.

The acting is sub par and the plotline monotonous (teens drinking and doing it… not anything new), but this time instead of sunny California it’s New York City.

And a location change is enough for me to be interested. It’s new! It’s fresh! It’s probably awful and I love it. Read More »