• Someone had sex with Piers Morgan. 9 months ago…judging by the fact he has a baby now.

•  A LOT of college freshmen dumped their high school sweethearts. #notshocking

• According to the Huffington Post, J.Lo celebrated Thanksgiving with Casper…Smart, Casper Smart. I know I wished it was the ghost too.

• Michael Lohan went to the hospital. Our prayers are with the doctors and anyone else who’s holiday was ruined by Michael Lohan.

• Wal-Mart shoppers rioted over a $2 waffle maker. Reporters are ecstatic over the news. I mean, they knew there would be stampedes, but nothing quite this exciting!

• The new Twilight movie is causing seizures. It’s also causing grown women to act like horny prepubescent girls. But no one is reporting that news today.

• Kirsten Dunst went make-up free at the airport. How very brave of her!!!

• There was some kind of balloon parade in NYC yesterday. I think it might have been a one-time thing. So you should look at photos now, because this parade might not happen ever again.

•Lady Gaga says she posed nude. We say that’s her most boring outfit yet!

• The crazy “inject-anything-into-my-butt-to-make-it-bigger” story keeps getting more ridiculous.

• A deleted scene from Harry Potter was released. Harry4eva!

• Aziz Ansari wants you to spit. It’s for a good cause, so just watch the video. For realsies.

Did she cheat?
Did she vandalize?
Did she hurt someone?

No, Geisy incited a mass riot among her fellow students. For showing up to school wearing a mini skirt and “heavy makeup.”

That’s right, when she arrived to school dressed up for the day her fellow students crowded her classroom door, shouting for her to come out so that they could rape her. As she was escorted out, the male students screamed “Puta!” and “whore!” while grabbing at Arruda and attempting to take cell phone pictures between her legs.

The next day Arruda was informed through an ad in the school newspaper that she was expelled, not even given the courtesy of being called and informed of this directly. Their reason for expulsion?  Her dress provoked a “collective reaction in defense of the school environment.”

And what environment is this exactly? One where the male students can do whatever they feel like?  Threaten women with violent and disgusting acts like rape? Leave class and start rioting in the hallways without even a slap on the wrist? Not only are they not being reprimanded for their outlandish behavior, but they are actually being defended by the school, all while this poor girl is made out to be a criminal. And for what? Putting on some eyeliner and wearing a cute sweater-mini to class?

The way this incident is being handled is perpetuating a belief system that places the blame of harassment and rape on women. It is taking the focus off of the men who brutalized Arruda and making her the perpetrator instead of the victim. What kind of learning environment is this where women must live in fear of the students around her? Where she can be chased from campus when the guy sitting next to her doesn’t agree with her choice of clothing?

If anyone should be expelled for disrupting the “school environment”  it is the male students who verbally abused Arruda. I’m pretty sure riots on campus are far more distracting than a skirt and a little mascara.

“Is that your phone?”

“Yeah.”

“You have a pink phone?”

“Mmhm.”

“Is it, like, your girlfriend’s phone?”"

“Nope.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup.”

Found in a dining hall, on a piece of paper shoved into a napkin dispenser:

“Students! Rise up! Class riot today, 3:00 in the courtyard. Refreshments will be served.”

Two in the morning – a pair of legs is poking out of a broken window. Two guys in striped hipster hoodies are standing nearby, craning their necks to look in.

“No, no,” say the legs. “This isn’t going to work. I’ll still be locked out, I’ll just be locked out inside.”

Ten or so sweaty people in t-shirts and tank tops are clustered around a cooler. One guy lifts the top off the cooler and dumps some colored powder in.

“What was that?” asks one, confused.

“Nothing,” says the dumper. “Just drink the Kool-aid.”

There’s a commotion outside, in the hallway. I poke my head out. A man is sprinting down the hallway with his sweater unzipped, a rhinestone necklace bouncing on his exposed chest hair, and his mouth wrapped tightly around a beer bottle.

Men sit around a crowded table, eating lunch. One of them reaches for a newspaper.

“Dude,” asks the guy next to him. “Why you frontin’ like you can read?”

Nobody laughs.

On my way to work, feeling dejected. I am stopped by a man.

“Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”

“Uh, um,” I stutter, looking for my cell phone.

“You see,” he says, smiling conspiratorily, “My watch stopped.”

He rolls up his sleeve, and there’s a watch tattooed on his wrist. I grin.

“Thanks for the smile,” he says, and leaves.

Two polo-shirted bros are eating together.

“Wait, dude, hold up. You got an eyelash.”

He leans forward and plucks something from the other’s face. He holds it up.

“Hey,” he says. “Make a wish.”

[photo from www.roadfood.com]

Check out Paramore‘s video for “Misery Business” and get their album RIOT! here!