Dear Tuffy Luv,

Firstly, I can’t believe I’m graduating in a month and am meant to become a real, live, moneymaking member of society.  But what I am really worried about is what to do about my current relationship situation.

I’ve been dating my current boyfriend (we’ll call him J) since September.  This is my first serious relationship and it has been amazing.  A few bumps in the road, but I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been this happy and in love (yeah, I’m one of those nauseatingly happy couples — I apologize).  Problem is that J is British and he goes back home after graduation.

When we first started dating, I had the attitude that it was just for fun.  When my friends would ask me where I saw it going, I would answer something like “Everything is great, but since he has to leave in May, it kind of has an expiration date.”  Over the course of college, I have seen a few friends try a LDR and it has never ended well for any of them.  As a result, I’ve always had the attitude that it was something just not worth trying unless the two parties involved were hoping for some serious emotional torture.  Also, J is not at all my usual type, so I figured that it wouldn’t ever get to the point where I saw him as the guy I wanted to spend years and years with. Read More »

Dear friends who thought I would stop ranting about Valentine’s Day once I was in a relationship, I’m sorry; you were mistaken.

I know I’m not the only person that rants about V-Day (coupled or otherwise). My new favourite Tumblr account, Occupy Valentine’s Day, proves it. Created by Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining Your Life author (and Executive Editor of Feministing), Samhita Mukhopadhyay, the site is collecting stories of love that are not limited to the commercial definition. The site wants to change the culture of romance. For my contribution I’m going to share some facts you might not have known about V-Day.

• In the United States the cost of the 189 million red roses sold around February 14 adds up to a whopping $1.6 billion.
• California produces more roses than any other state, but Columbia and Ecuador produce 90% of roses sold in the US.
• 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent in the US, which if attached could make a chain wrapping around the world five times over.
• According to National Geographic the holiday originates from a “raucous annual Roman festivals where men stripped naked, grabbed goat- or dog-skin whips, and spanked young maidens in hopes of increasing their fertility.”
• National Geographic also reports this year V Day will generate $17.6 billion in sales. Up from last year, this shows the economy is getting better.
• 8 billion chalky conversation hearts will be produced this year.
• 11% of Americans get engaged on Valentine’s Day.
• Condom sales will increase by 20-30%.

Valentine’s Day has a truly obnoxious reputation. In its most popular form, I find it a totally worthless and empty affair. Couples are expected to fall over themselves to celebrate this totally arbitrary day in February because that’s what’s expected. There’s all of this make-or-break pressure that is usually put on the guys to make it the most romantic day ever, and us ladies are supposed to be shrieking, superficial harpies desperate for blood diamonds, overpriced chocolate, flowers that will die in two seconds and a dinner that breaks the bank. Heaven forbid you’re single, then you are expected to be utterly miserable because your life obviously has no meaning. It’s a mess.

Therefore, I’m totally up for reclaiming this day and making it about sexy self-indulgence. That’s definitely something our society doesn’t value nearly as much as it should; and I mean, who isn’t in love with feeling sexy and sensual, whether it’s for a partner or for yourself?  I was given the incredible opportunity to review an array of sexy products. While a few of them are couple-centric, the vast majority are totally appropriate if you’re riding solo. Read More »

“I don’t know if we should talk about this…”

“And why not? Everybody has sex!”

“Yeah, but everybody should be making love.”

“Come on, how many guys do you know making love?”

–Salt N Pepa, “Let’s Talk About Sex”

In the past six months, I’ve had sex. I’ve been laid. I f*cked. However, it’s been a long time since I’ve made love, and I kind of miss it. Some people might argue that there’s no difference – physically, they are the same. But emotionally, passionately, and mentally, the two deeds are very different.

1. The First Time.

The first time you make love with your partner, it’s usually a very special moment. It’s often planned out in advance, especially in new relationships. There’s often sensual foreplay, and your bodies fit together perfectly.

If it’s your first time with a new partner and you’re just having sex, it may be spontaneous. Your partner may not be your boyfriend, or even your crush, and the decision to go all the way is frequently a hormonal (thanks, booze!) impulse. First time sex can be sloppy and awkward as you try to find the right position, and after everything’s said and done, it feels like there was something missing. Read More »

Lesson 24: Nicholas Sparks Is Not The Author Of Your Life

If you have yet to endure the torture that is a Nicholas Sparks movie marathon, I highly suggest you look into it purely as a service to yourself. Though the sappy movies seem out of place in single girl world, they’re actually a pretty effective learning tool – of what not to do.

Nicholas Sparks, author of our favorite tear jerking, secret guilty pleasure movies, shared the formula to his book-to-movie love stories. “(Romances) are all essentially the same story: You’ve got a woman, she’s down on her luck, she meets the handsome stranger who falls desperately in love with her, but he’s got these quirks, she must change him, and they have their conflicts, and then they end up happily ever after,” Sparks said.

While the roller coaster dramas from the likes of The Notebook and Dear John work beautifully on your television screen, they don’t transfer so well into reality. Even as Sparks’ novels point out some valid points about love, like that it can happen unexpectedly or that it can change a person or it’s tendency for turbulence, it’s imperative that single girls not set a “Nicholas Sparks Standard” for their love lives. Read More »

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase and a million others about how different men and women are. There are so many differences that we rely on our favorite dudes to help us analyze boy situations and constantly debate the difference between the sexes in terms of love, sex and relationships. But the differences don’t just stop there. According to new research, men and women also differ in how they indulge their sexual curiosity.

Ogi Ogas and Sam Gaddam have been analyzing billions of web searches and found that women are more likely to seek out character-driven stories rather than explicitly visual scenes of sexual activity. Unlike men who need nothing more than a short porn clip (or a hot girl modeling a bra in a Victoria’s Secret catalog) to get aroused, women require more of a story – and an emotional connection – to be stimulated. Proof: women account for 90 percent of sales for the romance novel industry but only two percent of porn site subscriptions.

But why? Read More »

Oysters, chocolate, and green M&Ms chili. No, I’m not listing off ingredients for a (seemingly disgusting) recipe; I’m listing off well-known aphrodisiacs, AKA foods that allegedly get you in the mood to get freaky with yo bad self (and your partner).

Well, get excited peeps, because there are a few new frisky foods to add to that list.

The Food Research International journal has recently published research saying that saffron and ginseng also boost sexual performance.

The professor behind the research said these natural aphrodisiacs theoretically enhance performance and libido and, because they are simply common spices, are safe to experiment with. Unlike alcohol, another aphrodisiac (the effects of which we’ve all experienced, am I right?), saffron and ginseng will not cause judgment impairment (the effects of which we’ve all unfortunately experienced, am I right?), meaning this is a fun and safe way to literally spice up your love life. Read More »

Oh, you don't like my skirt? That makes me love you even more.

It’s a situation almost every college girl finds herself in. You’re sitting in your room, watching your news feed on the ‘Book. There’s a guy that you’re kind of interested in, but not enough to actively pursue him, when all of a sudden you see his name pop up. He’s commented on someone’s picture, so of course you click on it to read it. And the next thing you know, you’re poking around his profile, checking on his every move.

Oh! Turns out he’s going to a party on Friday that you also happen to be attending. Splendid.

You talk to him briefly at the party, both of you getting a little flirty. He’s not the smartest guy you’ve ever had witty banter with, but he’s OK. He could be worse. And then he walks away and you catch him chatting up someone else and – OMG – is she putting his hand on his back? Suddenly you’re upset.

Jealous.

You’re totally into him.

But don’t worry you’re not alone. (OK, you are alone standing there…but you’re not alone in feeling this way.) According to a new study titled, “He Loves me, He Loves Me Not… Uncertainty Can Increase Romantic Attraction,” women are more attracted to men when they can’t tell how much the men like them. Read More »

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Valentine’s Day is right around the corner which means you’re either spending way too much time debating if your not-boyfriend-boyfriend is going to take you on a date or you’ve already picked out the sweatpants you’re going to wear and the tub of ice cream you’re going to eat.

Or are you?

Our galpals over at Tressugar conducted a survey about what each gender thinks about February 14th…and some of the results might shock you!

Read More »